


The Birds and... the Birds?

by talltyrionlannister



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 66,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6504832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talltyrionlannister/pseuds/talltyrionlannister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin is in her senior year of high school and questioning her sexuality. She takes to the internet to try and figure out her thought process and ends up talking to an openly gay girl anonymously through Tumblr. Little does she know that the girl is actually the extremely intimidating Lexa Woods in multiple of her classes who she would never speak to if she could help it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Senior Year

**Author's Note:**

> when writing the plot outline for this, i realised how similar it is to simon vs the homosapien agenda by becky albertalli. i didn't mean it to be, i just really wanted to write a clexa hsau! (they make me weak)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke began to question her sexuality two months ago and began to seek advice from a girl on Tumblr a month ago.

Clarke Griffin sat with her friends in homeroom as they examined their timetables for the semester. She was fortunate enough to have all her closest friends in homeroom with her; it made the start of the day less boring.

“Can you believe that we’ve only got a year left, Clarke?!” Octavia grinned as she squeezed Clarke’s shoulders before sitting in the empty seat next to her.

“Well don’t get your hopes up…” Bellamy mumbled. His feet where resting up on the desk in front on him.

“Wow, way to be supportive, Bell,” Octavia glared at her brother.

“I’m sure none of us are stupid enough to try and show defiance against the rules and have a pretty brutal fight in the parking lot,” Raven sassed back at Bellamy.

“Not as much to get us suspended and miss a load of important lessons anyway,” Jasper added.

“Yeah Bellamy, I’m pretty surprised they even let you back in the school to repeat your senior year,” Monty pointed out.

“Whatever, I shouldn’t have brought it up…” Bellamy began when a teacher walked through the door.

“Feet down Mr Blake, we don’t want a repeat of last year,” Marcus Kane made his way to the front of the classroom as Bellamy slowly put his feet down.

“You’re our new homeroom teacher?” Raven asked perplexed.

“Yes,” Kane nodded as he logged into the computer on the teacher’s desk.

“But you’re the vice principal…” Raven said.

“Well spotted, Miss Reyes,” the rest of the class chuckled. “Now, should we get on with registration?”

 

“What have you got first, Clarke?” Jasper asked her as they picked up their bags to leave homeroom.

“English. Why, have any of you guys got that?” Clarke glanced around at her group of friends.

“Nope, Bellamy and I have got philosophy, Raven and Monty have got physics and Octavia’s got gym,” Jasper answered for them all.

Clarke swung her head back and groaned. “Noooo, that means if O’s not with me for gym then I’m going to have a really sucky class.”

“You can’t guarantee that, Clarke,” Octavia said as they began to walk out the classroom.

“But you make everything in gym fun. And gym is not fun,” Clarke whined.

“Wow, I’ll take that as a compliment. See you later guys,” Octavia said as she walked towards the gym.

The rest of them walked in the opposite direction, heading down the corridor towards science. They spoke about the end of their summers and what they were doing in the lead up to school.

“Raven, didn’t you want to go to some boring space camp?” Clarke asked her.

“Yeah but at least me getting rejected from said boring space camp was more eventful that what you did. Let me guess. You sat on Tumblr since I last saw you 2 weeks ago and binged watched _Orange is the New Black_. Again,” Raven said matter-of-factly.

“That is painfully true…” Clarke winced.

“In Clarke’s defense, I would have binge watched _Orange is the New Black_ more than once too,” Jasper said.

“He’s only saying that because it’s got hot lesbians in it,” Monty said as he opened the door to his class. “See you guys at lunch.”

“See ya,” Raven said as she followed Monty into the classroom.

Whilst Jasper and Bellamy waved goodbye and told them to meet everyone in the lunchroom, Clarke forced herself to smile. She had been keeping a secret from her closest friends since the end of the junior year 2 months ago. She began to question her sexuality after realising that she was growing increasingly more attracted to the girls she’d see online on websites like Tumblr, and even some in her school or on the street. It was bugging her so much that she had resorted to googling about different sexualities and begun to voice her questions on Tumblr to her 500 followers.

 

**** 1 month earlier ****

Clarke’s sleeping pattern was majorly fucked up. It hadn’t taken much to do it. The stress from her junior year had disappeared within the first week of the summer holiday when she got all her homework due for her senior year out of the way as quickly as possible. She figured it would be easier to do all of her homework sooner rather than later as it then gave her more time to herself.

Well, more time to stay up until 3am watching Alex and Piper have sex in a church on _Orange is the New Black_.

She decided to scroll through Tumblr, giving herself a break from the show, but knowing damn well that she really needed to sleep. In her tired haze she decided to write a text post, which escalated into a pretty one-sided conversation with her followers.

**delinquent319:**

does anyone else think that alex is soooo hot???? just me??? ok

**delinquent319:**

like im not gay but i would totally bang alex in a church too

****delinquent319:** **

what if i am gay tho

**delinquent319:**

i’ve been thinking about this for like the past month but managed to suppress it until now

**delinquent319:**

this is where my thoughts need to be shut down by some good ol’ fashioned sleep

She noticed after writing these string of text posts that she had gotten a few comments mainly telling her that no one cares if she likes girls and to try not to label herself. And a couple that just said “same” under her admitting that she’d have sex with Alex Vause. 

When she woke up at midday the next day, the first thing she did was check her Tumblr. She remembered her thoughts from the night before and realised that they weren’t going away anytime soon.

Sighing to herself, she googled questions surrounding being attracted to girls, which lead her to then search about being bicurious and bisexual. Most of what she wanted to hear wasn’t on the forums she was browsing. The answers were all the same, the people on them claiming that they’d always known that they were gay or bisexual or people saying that they realised once they’d kissed a girl or fooled around with a girl in college.

The problem with Clarke was that she’d never been with a girl. Sure, she’d kissed Raven in a game of spin the bottle in their freshman year of high school and touched Octavia’s boob when she got drunk for the first time in her sophomore year, but she hadn’t gone any further than that. And for the record, the boob fondling was over the shirt. So Clarke didn’t even know if that counted.

She ended up going on Tumblr and searching for openly gay or bisexual girls to ask them advice. As she was scrolling through the lesbian tag on the site, an ask reply caught her eye. It was an anonymous message asking a girl for advice.

**anonymous asked:**

I know you get messages all the time but I was wondering if I could get some advice. there’s this girl at my school and I think she’s super pretty and really want to ask her on a date, but I’m not sure if she’s into girls too. how do I ask her if she is? love your blog!

**iam-thecommander replied:**

First off, the advice is no problem, don’t apologise. Secondly, I am a big believer in communication, even if it makes things temporarily awkward. I think that you should just straight up ask the girl if she would like to go on a date with you. Her orientation doesn’t matter too much, if she’s into you, she’s into you. And if she’s not, don’t get too dragged down by it because then there’s not much you can do I’m afraid. If you’re too shy to ask her to go on a date or hang out, or really need to know if she likes girls before you make a move, drop a few hints. Ask her who her favourite character on _The L Word_ is. Look at her fingernails. Are they short? How often does she wear camo, flannels or beanies? Good luck! 

Clarke chuckled at the response to the question and decided to have a look at her blog. The first thing she spotted was that there was barely any information about her – no name, no age, no pictures. Just that she was roughly a late high school to early college age and that she was American. And gay, obviously. This girl was pretty fucking gay.

 

**** Present ****

“Clarke?” Jasper snapped Clarke out of her daydream.

“Yeah?” Clarke shook her head.

“You coming? We’re going to be late for class.”

“Oh yeah, yeah,” Clarke said as she ran to catch up with Jasper and Bellamy.

Thankfully when she got to her English classroom she found that the boys' philosophy class was just a few doors down, meaning that she wouldn’t have to put up with the crowded school corridors by herself before and after English.

When she walked into her English class, she realised that she had almost no one friendly in the class to pair up with. _Great,_ she thought, _what a fun year this will be_.

“Hey, Clarke,” Wells smiled and waved his hand at her from almost the back of the room.

She walked over and sat in the empty seat next to him, throwing her bag down in the process. “Wells, thank god. I thought I was going to have to sit next to Atom or someone,” she breathed a sigh of relief as she looked to where Atom was kicking a girl’s chair in front of him.

She looked around the class and found that the only other person who looked as pissed off as she felt about their new classmates was Lexa Woods, who she would never dare speak to.


	2. The Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven catches Clarke on Tumblr reading through iam-thecommander's latest reply to her and Lexa's POV on the whole Tumblr anon situation.

“You’re late, Collins,” Clarke didn’t register Finn Collins walk through the door and apologise to Clarke’s English teacher, David Nyko, before sitting in the seat directly in front of her.

It wasn’t until they were getting on with some work by themselves that Finn turned around to Clarke.

“Looks like your stuck with me for the last year of school, princess,” he smirked.

“Lucky me,” Clarke said sarcastically as she recognised his voice, not even looking up at him and continuing to write.

“So what, you’re not even going to look at me now?” Finn asked playing the victim.

Clarke slammed her pen down and glared at him. “You were dating one of my best friends and made a pass at me when you knew damn well that she was in love with you. You broke her heart,” Clarke’s voice was getting louder with each word.

“Is this something that you’d like to share with the class, Clarke?” Nyko asked.

“No, sir. Mr Collins here was just distracting me,” she said, picking up her pen.

“Finn, turn around. If I catch either of you talking again you’ll both be in detention,” Nyko said as Finn audibly tutted.

 

Clarke found Jasper and Bellamy waiting for her outside of English.

“You guys didn’t have to wait for me,” she told them as they began to walk.

“Yeah we did, we all know how much you hate the school hallways,” Jasper said.

“Thanks,” Clarke smiled. “I have math next, what do you guys have?”

“Same,” Bellamy and Jasper said in unison.

“Good. At least I won’t be alone in that like I basically am in English. I sit next to Wells,” she explained.

“The principal’s son?” Bellamy asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, why?”

“Isn’t that a little weird?”

“Not particularly, no. We used to be best friends in middle school and then we kind of drifted apart. But he’s still pretty easy to talk to,” Clarke said as they made it to the math corridor.

“Huh…” Was all Bellamy said.

“What?” Clarke turned to face him as they got to outside their math classroom.

“I just don’t like him,” Bellamy slowly said.

“Is this because of last year?” Clarke asked and furrowed her brow, knowing full well that if she stood right in front of Bellamy and asked him such a direct question that she would get the answer.

“Yes, fine, yes it is,” he eventually caved.

“But you know he didn’t rat you out! C’mon Bell, it must be hard being the principal’s son. Give him a break,” Clarke shook her head at Bellamy’s grudge.

“How do you know he didn’t rat me out?”

“Even if he did, I think he had a right to. I think we all had a right to. You were the senior who was immature enough to pull the fire alarm when there was no fire…” Clarke told him.

“Did he not get your dad fired?” Bellamy shot back.

Clarke suddenly went quiet. “I’m sorry, Clarke, I shouldn’t have gone there,” Bellamy immediately realised the damage he could have done with a simple sentence.

“It’s fine,” Clarke shook it off.

Two years ago Clarke’s dad, Jake Griffin, was a math teacher at the school, but he got caught up in a false scandal involving another teacher and was forced to leave his job. Three months later whilst picking up some groceries for Clarke’s mother Abby, he was hit by a bus and died in intensive care a week later.

“Finn sat in front of me in English…” She quickly changed the subject.

“What?! You better not tell Raven,” Jasper told her.

“Tell Raven what?” Raven hobbled up to them as fast as her leg brace would manage.

“Finn sat in front of me in English,” Clarke repeated herself to the girl.

“What? Did you talk to him?” Raven asked quickly.

“Only to tell him to go fuck himself,” Clarke smiled. “Don’t worry, Ray, you know I hate him,” she said as their teacher, Diana Sydney, finally arrived to let them into the classroom.

 

“I was thinking about trying out for the soccer team this year,” Octavia told the others as they ate their lunch in the noisy cafeteria.

“That’s a bit risky,” Bellamy told her.

“Why?” She asked, her attention suddenly devoted to hearing his answer.

This made Bellamy nervous and he tried to backtrack himself but failed. “Just because all the kids on the team are kind of like a group. They don’t really talk to anyone else.”

“Bell’s right, O,” Clarke said as she ate a mouthful of her banana. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you’d be great on the team, but they look a little intimidating. That girl Lexa sits a couple of seats away from me in English completely isolated. No one dares to sit next to her, she just sits there looking angry and taking notes.”

“So why don’t you sit next to her?” Raven suggested. 

“Are you kidding me? She’d break me into like a million pieces with just her fist.”

“Well, I’m still gonna try it and see. Who knows, maybe they’ll let me into their little group. I can be like a spy,” Octavia smiled.

“That's more like it,” Raven grinned back. 

“When are tryouts?” Monty asked.

“Thursday 4pm,” Octavia told him.

“You can expect us all to be there,” he smiled at her.

 

Clarke and Raven had a free period, which meant sitting in the library endlessly scrolling the internet for an hour since they had no homework to be done yet. Raven sat with her headphones in watching YouTube videos and seemed pretty distracted, so Clarke took it as an opportunity to check her Tumblr and see if she’d gotten a reply back from the Commander as she liked to call her.

 

**** 1 month earlier ****

Clarke pulled up the ask box to iam-thecommander’s blog after scrolling through it, hit the anonymous button and typed out a message.

**anonymous asked:**

hi, i saw that you’ve given advice to a lot of other gay or bisexual girls and am hoping you can do the same for me. for the last month or so i’ve been getting feelings towards girls that i just can’t hide anymore and don’t know what to do. like does this mean im gay or bi or what. ive never been with a girl so i don’t even know what this is

She held her breath and hit send. Even if she sounded stupid, the person behind the other blog would never know since it was anonymous, so Clarke really had nothing to worry about. A couple of minutes later Clarke refreshed her dashboard and saw a reply from the girl who she’d decided to follow a few minutes earlier.

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Ah, the good old “what the fuck is my sexuality?” stage. If you can help it, try not to label yourself too much; it can sometimes do more harm than good. You can still figure out your sexuality even if you’ve never been with girl. Picture yourself in a relationship with a boy. Picture dates, cuddles and sex. How does that all make you feel? Now picture the same but with a girl. Do you want it? Who with? If you want it with both, you could be bi. If you want it with just the girl then you could be gay. If you want it with just the guy then you could be straight. Of course, there’s a lot more to it than just sex stuff, but this is just the basics since this seems like your first time exploring this. But who am I to tell you your sexuality. Sexuality is something that you work out on your own, and it differs for everyone. Sometimes people have just always known, sometimes it takes days, months or even years to realise or even being to question it. Plus it’s a very fluid spectrum.  
PS, I would recommend being with a girl. Girls are great.

Clarke smiled to herself and decided to send another ask.

 

**** Present ****

**anonymous asked:**

so do you think that all girls would fuck alex vause in that church? -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Oh god, yes. Have you SEEN Alex Vause? If she's not enough to make you question your sexuality then I don't know what is.

“Clarke, what’s that?” Raven looked over to Clarke’s computer screen where the blonde was reading her latest reply from the Commander.

“Nothing!” Clarke fumbled around trying to close the window down.

Raven put her hand over Clarke’s on the mouse. “I’m not stupid you know.”

Clarke pulled her hand away and buried her face in her palms.

“Clarke, are you gay?” Raven asked bluntly. “Because it’s okay if you are, you know.”

“I don’t know…” Clarke looked up and stared at the computer screen.

“You can talk to us. Me, Octavia. Hell, even Bellamy, Monty or Jasper. I know they don’t seem like the most mature people ever, but they care about you,” Raven told her.

“I’ve been getting these feelings since the end of the junior year and managed to forget about them until half way through the summer. I ended up messaging some girl on Tumblr about it because she’s gay and gives really good advice. It’s nothing,” Clarke said as she logged out of Tumblr and pulled her phone out to check her texts.

“Feelings for a girl or just girls in general?” Raven asked determined to carry on the conversation. She was being serious when she said it was okay, and she knew that Clarke knew that sexualities and genders didn’t matter to her friends, but Raven still wanted to talk about it.

“Just girls in general,” Clarke mumbled.

“Okay,” Raven said and put the conversation to rest for the time being.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Clarke looked up at her.

Raven smiled and leant over to rub her arm. “I won’t.”

 

“I’m home!” Lexa Woods shouted through her house as she shook off her bag at the bottom of the stairs.

“Hi Lex,” her little brother Aden called from the living room where he was intently playing a _Call of Duty_ game.

“Where’s mom?” She asked as she walked into the living room seeing his eyes glued to the screen.

“Still at work. She left a note saying she’ll be home late and $20,” he told her.

“Pizza it is then,” she walked out of the room and up to her bedroom to turn on her laptop.

She picked up the phone and ordered two pizzas to be delivered to her house for 6:30. By the time she hung up her laptop was ready to use and she immediately logged into Tumblr, noticing that she had 20 new messages in her inbox.

She scrolled through quickly and found that she didn’t have any new messages from her regular anon that she had been casually speaking to for the past month. Although it wasn’t like she expected a new message since she only answered the most recent one earlier that morning, she just liked the feeling she got when a new one appeared.

She switched tabs to Facebook and browsed her feed, noticing that Anya had invited her to an event titled “Soccer Tryouts”. Lexa groaned internally at the thought of having to go and play with a bunch of bad soccer players and then have to awkwardly dodge them in the hallways for the next month after the team rejected them.

She reluctantly accepted the event request and scrolled through the feed. The posts were the usual, Anya explaining where to be and what to expect and some nervous kids asking some questions. The one person she didn’t expect to see on the list to say they were going was Octavia Blake. 

Octavia always had some fight in her and was determined to succeed with everything that was thrown at her. She just didn’t particularly like her, or any of her friends. She found them obnoxious. Lexa was more the quiet type and liked to keep to herself, which was completely different than the Blake siblings who seemed like they were constantly getting in trouble. After English she swore she could have seen Clarke Griffin walking with Bellamy Blake. It didn’t surprise her in the slightest if he was redoing his senior year.

She switched back to Tumblr again and found that she had a new message from the anonymous person.

**anonymous asked:**

firstly good point with the alex vause theory, secondly ok so captain america is a super LAME hero and iron man is better. iron man’s suit is the coolest -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

But Iron Man is up himself and pretty obnoxious. 

It wasn’t long before she saw she had another message.

**anonymous asked:**

captain america is a wuss. what a stickler for the rules. “language” shut up steve -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Okay, so he doesn’t like people using bad language. He’s just a family friendly superhero.

**anonymous asked:**

i’d hate to see him around deadpool -c

Lexa chuckled. She didn’t know why she enjoyed talking to this anonymous stranger over the internet so much, but it took her mind of things. She didn’t even know how she managed to make such good conversation with the anon either. She decided against asking the anon to stop being anonymous – she gathered that if she did want to stop being anonymous then she would, but if not then they’d carry on like this. She kind of liked the sense of mystery about it. 

The more they spoke, the more the anonymous girl opened up to Lexa and vice versa. Lexa actually told her to watch lesbian porn if she was that unsure of what she thought about having sex with a woman, and the reply she got was that she thought she enjoyed it, but she couldn’t tell if it’s just because of the fact that they were lesbians or because she actually wanted it. 

After the hesitant admittance from the anon stating that she did in fact find girls attractive but wasn’t sure if it was in an appreciative way, emotional way or sexual way, Lexa told her that they were all parts of finding out a person’s sexuality.

They began to talk more, and whilst the messaging back and forth was still relatively new between them, only a few conversation topics had actually been spoken about, mainly about sexuality as the anon was still asking for advice. She even began signing her messages with “-c” so Lexa knew it was from her. Lexa found herself relaxing into the conversation more and more. She couldn’t tell if it was because they were online and she didn’t have to deal with it face to face, or if it was because they were anonymous messages, but she enjoyed the conversations.

The current debate about Captain America VS Iron Man came about after the anon saw Lexa reblog a photo of _Captain America: Civil War_ and put in the tags that she was on team Cap. 

“Lex, pizza’s here!” She heard Aden call up the stairs to her.

She ran downstairs, grabbing her phone on the way, and proceeded to eat dinner with her brother.


	3. Soccer Tryouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just flashbacks of the summer and Octavia going to soccer tryouts.

**** 1 month earlier ****

**anonymous asked:**

but what’s so special about being with a girl?

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I’ve never been with a guy, so I’m not talking from my own experience here, but as far as I’m aware a lot of the time men do things like go down on women because they have to for the woman to be ready. Where as with a woman, that’s it. The going down on and things alike are the sex, and your partner does them because they want to please you, not to stuff their bits in your bits.

**anonymous asked:**

i never really looked at it that way before………

**iam-thecommander replied:**

It helps if the imagination can stretch. Or just watch lesbian porn.

Clarke considered the girl’s reply before clicking on incognito on her browser and finding her headphones. It’s not like it could do any harm, right? She was just there to observe.

10 minutes into the video and she found herself squirming around on her bed, her mouth hanging open. She turned the video off and went back to message her advisor on Tumblr.

 **anonymous asked:**

ok so i watched it and i can’t tell if i like it because they’re lesbians and almost everyone in the world has got the idea in their head that lesbian sex is hot, or because i actually do like girls. current emotion: ???????? –c (im going to sign my messages so you know all the annoying ones are from me)

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Picture yourself in that video in one of the positions and then the other. See how you feel about it. (Your messages aren’t annoying)

 

**** Present ****

Clarke wasn’t sure about venturing into a new conversational topic with the Commander. No one really messaged her to discuss anything other than their sexuality, and Clarke feared that she was becoming too annoying with constantly asking every single question under the sun about lesbianism to this one girl.

Still, the Commander had said that she wasn’t annoying so Clarke hit send on her message about Captain America. They’d already just spoken briefly about _Orange is the New Black_ , so maybe that was their middle ground of talking about Clarke’s sexuality to talking about literally anything else.

Her online friendship had been strange. She felt like she knew this girl but yet she didn’t. She knew nothing about her, the only details she found out through talking to her for a month was that she had a girlfriend who moved to the other side of the country and hasn’t tried to make contact with her since, and that she hates everyone at school except for the majority of the soccer team.

**** 2 weeks earlier ****

**anonymous asked:**

how did you know you like girls? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

C, it’s been almost a week since we last talked, I was wondering how you were getting on with your sexuality crisis. I knew I liked girls when I was 13 years old and developed a crush for a girl in my gym class, I’ll call her Costia for the sake of online privacy. Over the next year Costia and I built a friendship that ultimately lead to a yearlong relationship. It was a difficult process because I had liked her for a while and going from the friendship to the relationship stage can be tricky. A lot of people disapproved of our relationship when it was new. She moved across the other side of the country last summer and I was devastated. I’ve never felt anything remotely close to even a crush for a boy.

**anonymous asked:**

been busy with friends. 2 weeks left of summer and we’re trying to cram as much fun in as possible before what is potentially going to be the most stressful year of my life (senior year) -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I understand, I’m in a similar situation. But my kind of fun means answering messages on Tumblr and eating too much ice cream. I can’t remember the last time I breathed fresh air.

Clarke smiled at the reply.

 **anonymous asked:**

sorry to hear about costia though :( but thank you for sharing that with me (and the rest of your followers). i really appreciate it -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

You’re welcome.  
:)

 

**** Present ****

“Good luck, Octavia!” Clarke shouted from the bleachers as Octavia jogged on to the pitch.

It was Thursday 4pm which meant soccer tryouts. Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Jasper and Monty were all cheering her on from the stands. 

“Do they have to be there?” Indra, one of the more scarier soccer players, asked Coach Titus on the pitch as she warmed up.

“They’re allowed,” Titus told her. Indra just scoffed and walked away.

Octavia jumped up and down and waved to her friends when Indra walked past her. “Try not to get too distracted,” Indra spat.

Octavia just stared at her as she began to stretch.

Lexa walked on to the pitch already dreading the next hour she had to spend at try outs.

“Kill me, actually kill me,” she muttered to Lincoln who walked beside her.

“It’ll be over in an hour,” he reassured her. “Is that Octavia Blake?” He asked, noticing her stretching.

“Yeah, I was surprised too. Her and her brother are morons,” Lexa simply said.

“Her brother might be, but she’s not so bad,” Lincoln said and jogged to a spot next to her.

Lexa groaned and reluctantly followed him. 

“Is Octavia talking to that guy Lincoln?” Monty noticed from the stands as Titus told the team to get into pairs to practice passing.

“She better not be,” Bellamy crossed his arms.

“You can pair up with me, Octavia,” Lincoln smiled at her as he grabbed a soccer ball from the front.

“What? Lincoln!” Lexa threw her arms out.

“You can go with me,” Anya said and pulled her over to the side of the pitch to practice.

“What do you think of Octavia then? She any good?” Anya asked her and they kicked the ball between them.

“She better not be. Otherwise Lincoln’s going to be pining after a girl instead of the ball,” Lexa said.

Anya looked over towards Lincoln who was grinning at Octavia as they practiced. She heard a cheer from the stands as Octavia tackled Lincoln.

“Aren’t those her friends?” Anya nodded towards the Clarke and the rest of the group.

“Yeah.”

“What, do you not like them?”

Lexa stopped what she was doing and just stared at Anya. “Of course I don’t like them, they’re so loud and annoying.” 

“You play soccer, the crowds at all soccer games are loud and annoying,” Anya told her.

“Yes but I _like_ to play soccer and I focus when I play, I manage to not even hear the crowd half the time. What I don’t like is hearing them in homeroom talk about their boring summers for everyone to hear.”

“Wow Lex, you sure feel strongly about this hatred.”

“I’m just not a people person,” she said.

“Yeah, you can say that again,” Anya laughed.

 

Clarke and Raven cheered as they walked into the girls’ locker room to find Octavia and the rest of the team getting changed.

“Well done, O!” Clarke pulled her into a hug.

“Yeah, you were amazing,” Raven smiled and patted her on the back.

“You might wanna take a shower though,” Clarke winked.

“Thanks guys,” Octavia grinned. 

Lexa watched them from the corner of the room and pulled on a fresh t-shirt.

“I rest my case,” she told Anya.

“So they’re happy for their friend, big deal,” Anya shrugged.

Lexa raised her eyebrows at Anya.

“Okay so they could have been a little quieter when they walked in,” Anya rolled her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see Lexa’s I-told-you-so smile.

 

**** 1 week earlier ****

**anonymous asked:**

tell me something about you –c

Lexa contemplated her answer before replying.

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I have 1 week left of summer vacation before the semester starts and I hate everyone at my school. Except for the soccer team. Mostly. Your turn.

**anonymous asked:**

i have 1 week left too and the soccer team at my school scares me –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

They scare you? Ha!

**anonymous asked:**

don’t laugh! they are intimidating people i’ll have you know –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I’m sure they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the kind responses to this fic! it's actually my first multi-chapter that i've written in 2 years and the positive feedback is so overwhelming but it definitely makes me want to update as often as i can!!!!!!


	4. Duologues, Awkwardness and First Crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa find themselves having to interact with one another (finally) in what can only be described as pretty awkward situations, and Lexa bonds with Aden.

“I made it, I got in!” Octavia rushed over to her friends in homeroom to tell them the good news.

It had been almost a week since the soccer tryouts and the list of who made it on to the team was finally on the board in the gym hall.

“Aw, congratulations O,” Clarke smiled and held her hand briefly as she sat down next to her. Raven, Monty and Jasper cheered for her.

“When’s practice?” Raven asked.

“Thursdays, same as when tryouts were. Where’s Bell?” Octavia looked around.

“Uh, I think he’s talking to Gina or someone,” Jasper told her.

“So much for sharing the good news,” Octavia mumbled.

Lexa quietly got out of her seat at the back of the room and made her way over to Octavia.

“Uh, Octavia?” She tapped her on the shoulder.

“Yeah?” Octavia smiled.

“I just wanted to say well done for making the team,” she nodded.

“Thanks, Lexa,” Octavia smiled again as Lexa sat back down.

“And the spying begins,” Raven waggled her eyebrows.

“What have you got first, Clarke?” Octavia smirked at Raven before turning to her friend.

“Drama,” Clarke said.

“I can’t believe you took drama. It looks so sociable. Gross,” Monty joked. 

“It’s just something to make me not stress out about every class. It’s like a break period but fun,” Clarke told him.

Raven dramatically gasped. “Are you saying that free periods with me aren’t fun?”

 

“Hey Harper,” Clarke greeted Harper as she sat down next to her.

“Hey. This is Maya, she’s new,” Harper smiled as she introduced the girl sitting next to her. Clarke hadn’t even realised that she didn’t recognise her.

“Hi, I’m Clarke” Clarke smiled before getting her script of _The Importance of Being Earnest_ by Oscar Wilde out of her bag ready for the first drama class of the year.

She had been told to analyse the scene where Jack proposes to Gwendolen, which she did quite easily at the beginning of the summer.

“Okay, since you’ve all analysed the scene, I’m going to put you in pairs and you’ll have a week to rehearse the scene before performing it to the rest of the class. I want to see how you interpret the scene by yourselves before having my input. Since there are more girls than boys in the class some of the girls will have to play Jack,” Clarke’s teacher Sienna explained and spent the next two minutes putting them into pairs.

“Clarke, you’ll be with Lexa,” Sienna told her as she made her way to her.

Clarke internally groaned. She didn’t realise that Lexa was in this class, and didn’t know how she’d work with her. The closest she’d ever gotten to talking to Lexa was earlier in homeroom when Octavia announced her good news.

She sheepishly made her way over to the intimidating girl and gave her a weak smile and wave. “Hey.”

“Uh, hi,” Lexa smiled awkwardly, obviously as uncomfortable with the situation as Clarke was.

“So who’s gonna play Jack?” Clarke asked cautiously.

“I guess I can,” Lexa said, shuffling in her seat. “You can sit down y’know,” she looked at Clarke and gestured to the empty chair next to her.

“Right, yeah,” Clarke nodded her head and sat down facing Lexa. “How did you interpret the scene?”

“Well, Gwendolen is obviously oblivious to the fact that Jack’s name isn’t Ernest, which ultimately makes her pretty naïve, not to mention stuck up because she’ll only marry a man name Ernest,” Lexa explained.

Clarke listened intently before adding, “Jack’s no better, he’s hiding behind the name. It’s almost like they were meant to be…”

“Yeah I think Gwendolen would agree with you there, since his name actually _is_ Ernest,” Lexa smirked.

Clarke smiled back at the girl. _Maybe this class won’t be so bad…_ she thought.

 

“How was drama, Clarke?” Jasper asked her as he took a uncoordinated and messy bite of his sandwich.

“Jasper, can you not eat with just like a tiny bit more dignity?” Octavia watched him gulp down the bite.

“It’s lunch and I’m hungry,” Jasper told her, already chewing on another mouthful of food. Octavia shook her head and directed her attention to her own food.

“Drama was okay. Sienna actually paired up me with Lexa Woods for a duologue,” she told the group.

“What? Lexa Woods? I thought you were like shit scared of her,” Monty said.

“She’s not so bad I guess,” Clarke shrugged.

“See? What did I tell you guys? The soccer team _are_ nice,” Octavia agreed.

“That’s only because you have a date with Lincoln…” Jasper added quietly.

“What?!” Bellamy bellowed, suddenly becoming extremely interested in the conversation.

“Relax, we’re just going to the movies together. He wants to see that film _The Martian_ and has no one to go with,” Octavia informed him.

“Aw, O’s doing her good deed for the year,” Raven mocked.

“Anyway, Bell, you can’t say anything about Lincoln when I hear you’ve been skipping homeroom to talk to Gina Martin,” Octavia said.

“That’s none of your business,” Bellamy said.

“Nor is the relationship between Lincoln and I to you,” she smiled and bowed the best that she could whilst sitting down.

“Ooooooh,” Jasper sang deeply.

“Shut down!” Monty laughed.

 

Lexa shot a repulsed glare at Jasper Jordan as he shovelled food into his mouth and sat down with her own tray of food in between Anya and Lincoln who were sitting with the rest of the soccer team.

“Hey,” Anya said, barely even looking at her. 

“Hey,” she said back and took a bite of her apple.

“What Anya means to say if she were so polite as to do so,” Lincoln began, “was ask you how drama was. Was it as bad as you dreaded?”

“Pretty much, it’s drama, of course it was bad. I got paired up with Clarke Griffin too for a duologue that we have to perform next week,” Lexa looked over to the girl who was raising her eyebrows at Bellamy Blake’s sudden outburst.

“Clarke Griffin? She’s _so_ hot,” Niylah gushed as Lexa raised an eyebrow at her.

“Does this mean we’re going to have to listen to your complaints about her for a week?” Anya asked.

“No!” Lexa replied with obvious frustration surfacing in her voice. “She’s fine by herself, it’s her friends with her that are the problem,” Lexa said right on cue as Jasper and Monty shouted something unintelligible from the other end of the lunchroom.

Lincoln took out his phone under the table and texted Octavia.

**Lincoln Finch:**

What was all that about?

He looked over to the girl who must have felt her phone buzz in her pocket and took it out to see why. Seeing that she had a text from Lincoln, she scanned the room and when her eyes landed on him they shared a short smile.

**Octavia Blake:**

I just shut Bellamy up. He found out about our date and got all, you know, Bellamy

“Oh my god, Lincoln, if you want to talk to her that much then just go and sit with her, we don’t mind, do we An?” Lexa rolled her eyes at his secret texting.

“No we don’t, but if you call me An again I will have to punch you in the face,” Anya said not even looking at Lexa but instead at Octavia, trying to figure out if she was a good enough person for Lincoln.

“Come with me,” Lincoln turned to Lexa with a pleading look in his eye.

“What?” Lexa raised her eyebrows in confusion.

“Come with me. I can’t go over and sit with her by myself, I don’t know her friends.”

“Neither do I!” Lexa retorted.

“You know Clarke,” Anya said.

“Wow, thanks Anya, how nice of you to help,” Lexa said sarcastically. “No way, Lincoln,” she waved her hand in the air beside him to settle her point.

“We have five minutes left of lunch, you’re coming with me,” Lincoln got up and pulled her arm so hard that she had no choice but to go with him.

“You’re going to pay for this,” Lexa said under her breath so loud that only Lincoln could hear but didn’t get a response as they were at Octavia’s table. 

“H-hi, O,” Lincoln said nervously as Lexa scanned the table.

Jasper, Monty and Raven hadn’t even registered their arrival as they were too preoccupied in seeing how long Jasper could balance a spoon on the bridge of his nose, Bellamy eyed Lincoln up and down as he spoke to the boy’s sister and Clarke had her eyes, full of questions, set on Lexa. When Lexa noticed this, she quickly looked to the floor and flattened out non-existent creases in her clothes.

“Hey, Linc. Wanna join us? Monty’s timing how long Jasper can do that,” she nodded towards Jasper’s spoon balancing trick, "whilst Raven tries to distract him."

“Sure,” he smiled and sat down next to Octavia.

“You’re welcome to sit down too, Lexa,” Octavia smiled at the awkward brunette as she took a seat next to Lincoln.

She noticed that Clarke’s eyes were no longer on her but instead incredibly interested in her spoon that was swirling around her jell-o.

Bellamy cleared his throat, startling Jasper who dropped the spoon and made a loud groan of disappointment.

“So, Lincoln, soccer huh?” He asked as Jasper, Monty and Raven snapped their heads around to Bellamy, their gazes travelling to Octavia and then Lincoln and Lexa sitting beside her. 

“When the hell did they get here?” Raven whispered to Clarke who was still focused on the jell-o.

“About 40 seconds into Jasper’s party trick,” Clarke mumbled and tuned into Bellamy and Lincoln’s conversation.

“I’m actually aiming for a soccer scholarship,” Lincoln told Bellamy.

“A scholarship in sports, really?” Bellamy asked unimpressed.

“Yeah, well I’m good at it and it makes me happy,” he said.

Lexa smiled to herself. Lincoln was never one to be ashamed of the things that made him happy, no matter how stupid or unimpressive they seemed.

“What’s so bad about soccer, Bellamy? I play it,” Octavia questioned her brother.

The rest of the table looked around awkwardly as Bellamy stumbled around for his answer.

“Nothing, it’s just…” he began.

“That’s settled then. Come on, Lincoln, we’ve got health,” Octavia stood up rather suddenly and pulled Lincoln away from the table.

Lexa watched the commotion and sat with her mouth gaping as she waited for Lincoln to make eye contact with her. When he did, his eyes were full of apologies as she was trying not to fume with anger at a table full of strangers.

It was then that Clarke cleared her throat. “I should get going to art. What do the rest of you have?”

“History,” Bellamy said as he picked up his backpack.

“Jasper and I have got gym,” Monty told her.

“Good luck, although I’m sure Jasper doesn’t need it since his balancing tricks all seem to be in order,” Raven joked. “I’ve got music.”

“What about you, Lexa?” Clarke turned to the girl who was still glued to her seat.

“Uh, music,” she replied quietly.

“Wow, you’re quite the creative type, Woods. I never would have guessed. Come, come,” Raven motioned the quiet girl over to her. Conversation came naturally to Raven, unlike Lexa who just didn’t know what to say.

Lexa said nothing, instead just picked up her bag and walked towards Raven. There was no way to get out walking to music with Raven, but she reasoned it with quite possibly being able to get out of spending time with her in the lesson. 

“How come you only hang out with the soccer team?” Raven asked her as they made their way through the hallways. 

“I guess they’re just easy to befriend. I’ve been on the team since freshman year so I’ve known most of them for a long time now. They get me,” Lexa replied with a faint smile spreading itself across her face at the thought of her friends.

“They get you?” Raven asked a little confused.

“They’re pretty reserved and I’m not exactly loud,” she explained. “You probably have the same with your friends, just… reversed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Raven playfully asked.

“Just that you like to joke around and stuff and Jasper and Monty among the others seem to get your sense of humour,” Lexa replied quickly, not sensing Raven’s tone.

“Relax, Woods. I was joking.”

 

As it turned out, Raven Reyes was surprisingly good at playing the drums. She didn’t let the clunky brace that was strapped around her leg to hinder her playing, much like she didn’t let it hinder most other things in her life. Lexa should have guessed.

Their teacher, Richard Ryder, told them to get into pairs to create a small rhythm in 10 minutes using a ¾ time signature and Raven had automatically paired herself with Lexa. Raven’s excuse was that she barely knew anyone in the class except for Finn Collins who was quite possibly the worst singer she had ever heard. At least Raven was better than someone like Atom or Dax.

Lexa had to settle with playing the bass since there were no more guitars left. Although she was more of a guitar person, she thought that bass was relatively easy if you could play a guitar. Plus the bass would have been a better choice to go with Raven’s drumming anyway.

Raven liked to drum loud and fast, which wasn’t Lexa’s usual type of music, but she could roll with it. They came up with a pretty good riff and a standard drumming pattern in just over 5 minutes, being the first pair to complete the project. This resulted in them performing their piece, something that Raven was all too eager to do. Lexa kept her head down whilst she performed, concentrating on the way her fingers danced on the fretboard as Raven shook her head fiercely in time with the music.

It was over before she knew it and the class cheered which forced Lexa’s mouth into a small smile. Raven, on the other hand, stood up and bowed to the audience way too fast, causing her to lose her balance in the process and fall into the hi-hat.

And of course, like any good teacher would when the kid with the leg brace falls over, Ryder rushed to her aid.

“I’m fine,” Raven got up and limped back to her seat, the moment of celebration now ruined by frustration and embarrassment.

 

“I can’t believe you done that to me, Lincoln!” Lexa shouted at him as they walked home.

“I’m sorry, Lex! I was just nervous. I’ve never spoken to her friends before,” Lincoln tried to explain.

“Did it ever occur to you that I haven’t either?” Lexa asked, her voice getting increasingly louder.

Lincoln opened his mouth to protest but Lexa swiftly made her way directly in front of him and pointed her finger at his face.

“Don’t you dare say Clarke Griffin…”

“But you have spoken to her!” Lincoln tried to redeem himself.

“We spoke in drama for an hour. That’s not the same as knowing her or her group of friends!” Lexa told him and continued to walk home. “They’re still all just as annoying.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you in such an awkward situation. It wasn’t fair on you,” Lincoln apologised.

“That’s okay,” Lexa sighed. “Don’t think that lets you off the hook for payback though,” she winked.

She honestly wasn’t sure why she was overreacting so much. She just didn’t like talking to a lot of people or being around people, especially people like Japser, Monty and Raven. And unlike Clarke, Raven didn’t get anymore civilised once separated from her friends.

“You said that Raven Reyes is in your music though, right?” Lincoln asked her.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, I was just thinking, because now you seem to have someone to partner up with in music and you’ve been paired with Clarke in drama, maybe you could just put in a good word for me. Casually slip something into a conversation with them both, big me up,” he suggested.

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Octavia already likes you, Linc, you don’t need any good words.”

“I know, but if you do this then she might like me even more,” he said as they stopped outside Lexa’s house.

“I’ll think about it. See you tomorrow,” she smiled at him as she stepped into her house.

She walked into the living room where she saw Aden sitting on his laptop with a girl next to him.

“Uhh, hi,” she greeted them, not knowing what to do when her 13 year old brother, who had shown no interest previously in inviting girls over, had one sitting on their couch.

Aden, who hadn’t heard Lexa come in, jumped slightly in his seat, making his sister smirk inwardly.

“Hey, Lex,” he said.

Lexa’s eyes darted quickly to the blonde sitting next to him.

“Oh, uh, Lexa this is Charlotte. Charlotte, this is my sister Lexa,” he introduced the two.

“Hi,” Charlotte smiled and waved shyly.

“Hi,” Lexa smiled and turned to Aden. “Mom not in?”

“No, she texted us to say she’d be in after dinner. Did you not get it?” He asked her.

“Guess not…” Lexa mumbled. “I’ll be upstairs if you need me, and I’ll start on dinner in an hour. Tell me before then if you’re in the mood for anything, otherwise it’s probably going to be tacos or something.”

“Sounds good,” Aden said.

“Charlotte, are you staying for dinner?” She asked the girl.

“Uhh…” Charlotte stuttered and turned to Aden.

“You’re welcome to,” Aden told her.

Lexa’s inward smirk returned – she’d never heard her brother use language like that before. She decided to make a choice to play the nice big sister role rather than the embarrassing one. After all, she did know what it was like to be a nervous 13 year old around a pretty girl.

“Sure,” Charlotte smiled to him.

Okay, Lexa could play the nice big sister until the moment Charlotte left and then embarrass her little brother.

Lexa walked upstairs and immediately turned on her laptop. Her thoughts turned to her mother. She knew that her job as a lawyer made for a busy life, and now that her children were old enough to do things like cook dinner for themselves it meant that she could have a longer work day, but Lexa still missed spending the evenings with her mom. She missed being able to talk about anything and everything, but since Aden had started middle school two years ago her schedule had dramatically changed.

She pushed the thought out of her mind and logged on to Facebook to see that she had a friend request from Clarke Griffin. She decided to accept it, thinking about how awkward it would be in drama if she declined.

She quickly scrolled through Clarke’s profile, which was mainly full of pictures from parties that people had tagged her in and not much else.

She also noticed that Lincoln had added Octavia Blake to their soccer team group chat. Of course it would be Lincoln to add Octavia Blake.

**Octavia Blake:**

Hi everyone. I just wanted to say thanks for letting me on the team, I’ll try not to disappoint you all :)

**Indra Gunn:**

You’ll prove yourself when we defeat Azgeda.

**Octavia Blake:**

Who’s azgeda?

**Lincoln Finch:**

Ignore her, she’s just trying to scare you

 **Anya Stone:**

Azgeda are the enemy Octavia. You’ll soon learn that.

Lexa chuckled at her teammates trying to scare the new addition to the team. She wondered briefly if they’d be like this to other new members but quickly realised that yes, they would be exactly the same. Well, maybe a little less harsh. Everyone was just giving Octavia grief because of the kind of relationship that was in the near future with her and Lincoln. Lexa knew that it was their way of showing they care. 

She logged into Tumblr and scrolled through her messages, answering a few naïve girls’ questioning about being with girls before finding one from her anonymous friend.

**anonymous asked:**

how was your day? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Could have been better. Not going to go into too much detail. Would rather drink a potion that erased all memories of the day, or better yet, made it never happen at all. How was yours?

**anonymous asked:**

rough day then. mine was ok, had a little bit of contact with the scary soccer team and classes are beginning to rain down hard on studying. it’s safe to say that i am not looking forward to the year and would happily take that potion with you -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Gross, studying. Yuck.

**anonymous asked:**

you said it sista -c

**anonymous asked:**

im sorry was that really cringey -c

**anonymous asked:**

apologies again -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Not at all, sista.

(I can be cringey too)

“Hey, Lex?” Aden knocked on her door.

“Yeah?” She shouted her conformation for him to open the door.

“I know it’s only been like 20 minutes but could we make a start on dinner?” He asked.

“Sure,” Lexa said getting up and walking out of her room. “You don’t need to sound all worried about asking for dinner you know. I’m not mom; we don’t have to eat bang on 6:30 everyday. If you’re hungry you’re hungry.”

Aden smiled as they walked down the stairs.

 

“These tacos are really good, Lexa,” Charlotte told her as she took another bite.

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled as the girl enjoyed her dinner.

“So are you two in a class together at school or something?” She finally asked, acknowledging the elephant in the room.

“Charlotte’s actually in the grade below. Zoran’s in a band with her,” Aden explained.

Lexa nodded, remembering Zoran from when Aden was younger. She had been taken a little aback by Zoran’s appearance when he first slept round 4 years ago, but asked no questions about why he looked the way he looked. All that concerned Lexa was whether Zoran's friendship made Aden happy, which it did.

“What do you play?” Lexa asked Charlotte.

“Piano,” Charlotte replied.

“I’ll have to hear you play sometime,” Lexa gave the girl a reassuring smile.

“Oh yeah, you’ve gotta. Charlotte’s really good,” Aden said confidently, not realising that he had made Charlotte blush. “Lexa plays too.”

“What do you play?” Charlotte asked.

“Guitar.”

“Cool,” Charlotte nodded.

 

“Charlotte seems nice,” Lexa followed Aden into his bedroom once Charlotte had left. 

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool,” Aden said nonchalantly.

“Do you… like like her?” Lexa joked.

“Really, Lex? Really?” Aden half groaned and half joked back.

“Just asking,” she smirked.

“If you must know, I do quite like her, yeah. But please don’t be weird and embarrassing about it if she comes over again,” Aden pleaded.

“Oh please, I could tell you liked her from a mile off! I made a decision to be the nice and cool big sister rather than the embarrassing one,” Lexa laughed.

“What?! How could you tell I like her?” Aden asked quickly.

“Firstly, I’ve never seen you jump so much as you did when I announced myself in the room. Secondly, I’ve never heard you use the phrase ‘you’re welcome to’ in my life. Thirdly, you were gushing about her whilst she was sitting right next to you. You couldn’t have made it any more obvious,” Lexa explained.

“Does that mean I should tone it down with the gushing or…?” 

“Only unless she seems uncomfortable about it or asks or hints for you to stop, I guess. Usually girls tend to like guys who aren’t complete dickheads, so you have nothing to worry about. And for the record, she was smitten,” she smiled. 

“Thanks for not being weird about this, Lex,” Aden smiled at her.

“It’s cool. What else am I here for? If you need any more advice then you can always ask me,” she smiled back and left his room to go to her own.

Secretly Lexa thought it was extremely adorable that her little brother was having his first crush.


	5. Olive Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke finally hang out, and Lexa has proximity issues aka she is super gay.

“How do I ask Charlotte out on a date with me?” Aden asked suddenly.

He and Lexa had been sitting watching morning cartoons in a content silence before school. 

“Was yesterday after school not a date?” She asked him.

“Not really. I just invited her round because we were walking home and talking about video games and I said I had a load of her favourites on my laptop,” Aden explained.

“Well she seems to already really like you so just ask her out somewhere.”

“It’s gotta be some place nice,” he stated.

“The movie theater isn’t nice?” Lexa asked.

“It’s a little childish for a first date. I want to impress her,” he told her.

Lexa smiled at her brother wanting to be mature and got up to turn the TV off. “C’mon lover boy, it’s time we went to school. I’ll give you a lift in.”

 

Lexa was silent as she concentrated on driving. She occasionally tutted at the other drivers who didn’t indicate, but other than that the drive to Aden’s middle school was smooth.

She parked up by the school to let him out when he turned to her.

“If she says yes, will you chaperone?” 

“You want me to do that? Why?” She asked confused.

“Because I’ll be really nervous and although I won’t want you to sit with me, it’ll be nice to know that you’re there with me…”

“Of course I’ll chaperone. Go get her tiger,” Lexa winked.

“You need better slang,” Aden screwed his face up and got out the car.

 

“How’s the questioning of your sexuality coming along?” Raven asked as Clarke picked her up for school.

“It’s hideously painful,” Clarke admitted.

“Have you tried porn?” Raven asked suddenly.

Clarke blushed, remembering her conversation with the Commander and kept her eyes on the road.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Raven grinned. “You just have to remember that it’s not an accurate representation of lesbian sex.”

“I know that.”

“There are all kinds of porn out there, like scissoring or seesawing…” Raven began to list.

“Raven! I don’t need a list of the lesbian Kama Sutra!” Clarke said blushing even more. 

“Why, feeling a bit _hot_?” Raven teased.

Clarke kept looking forward as she heard Raven chuckling to herself beside her.

“We picking O up?” The brunette asked as Clarke pulled up by Octavia’s house.

“Yeah,” Clarke said, her voice a little raspy.

As if on cue, Octavia walked out of her front door and got into the back seat of the car.

“Why is Clarke so red?” Were her first words of the day to the girls.

“Can I tell her?” Raven turned to Clarke, barely being able to hold in her glee.

“Tell me what?” Octavia asked.

“Fine,” Clarke sighed and started driving again.

“Clarke’s questioning her sexuality!” Raven almost squealed as she turned to Octavia the best that she could from her seat in the front.

“What?!” Octavia leant forward and swatted Raven on the arm. “You knew this and you didn’t tell me?!”

“Hey! I was being a good friend and promised Clarke that I wouldn’t say anything,” Raven defended herself.

“Basically I’ve just been getting these feelings towards girls the same way that I get towards boys and don’t know what it means,” Clarke explained.

“Well if you like girls and boys, does that not indicate that you’re bisexual?” Octavia questioned.

“I guess so, but I don’t know if I even would want to have sex with a girl. I’ve never been with one…”

“Except us,” Raven pointed out.

“That was like two years ago, Ray, and it doesn’t count,” Clarke said.

“Why not?” Raven asked trying to look hurt.

“Because one, I was intoxicated with O, and two, it’s you guys…” Clarke made a face. 

“Aren’t you with Lexa for that duologue thingy?” Octavia smirked as she began to formulate a plan in her head.

“Oh my god, O, you’re a genius!” Raven shouted.

“What?” Clarke asked wearily.

“Well she’s gay isn’t she? So seduce her, sleep with her and then see if you do like girls,” Raven told her.

“I’m not going to sleep with a girl I’ve barely spoken to just because we’re working together for a grade. Besides, her and the rest of the team, minus O, still scare the shit out of me,” Clarke said.

“But it’s such a great idea!” Octavia backed Raven up.

“No!” Clarke told them for a final time as they pulled into a parking space at school.

Octavia and Raven dropped the subject in a silent agreement not to discuss it with the rest of the group. Whilst they were perfectly capable of ripping the shit out of Clarke and her love life in private, they didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise their friendship with the blonde.

 

**anonymous asked:**

does scissoring really work?? -c

Clarke had her phone out under her desk in homeroom whilst Kane droned on about extra curricular activities surrounding music.

“Jesus, Clarke. You can’t even wait like 5 minutes for Kane to stop talking before you ask your Tumblr friend about scissoring?” Raven whispered.

“I’m just curious…” Clarke mumbled as she put her phone back in her phone.

“Miss Griffin, Miss Reyes, are you quite done?” Kane asked them.

“Yes, sir,” the girls both muttered.

“Good, now as I was saying, the music show. If any of you would like to sign up then the sheet will be pinned to the board at the front of the classroom,” he showed the class.

“Ooh, Ray, you should totally do that!” Octavia said sitting behind Raven.

“Should Miss Reyes decide to enter, I expect that no drum kits will be damaged by the end of her performance,” Kane joked.

Word had gotten out that Raven had almost put a hole though the bass drum when she fell over bowing in music, and the rest of the class chuckled. Lexa, who was in her normal seat at the back of the class, smiled to herself, recalling the events leading up to the incident. She really did enjoy playing with Raven as much as she didn’t care to admit it. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Maybe I’ll do it just so I can really put a hole in the bass drum this time,” Raven sassed, still feeling a little embarrassed.

Lexa felt her phone buzz in her pocket and pulled it out. No one would realise if she was on it, she told herself. She was the quiet one at the back.

She saw that she had a text from Aden and smiled.

**Aden Woods:**

She said yes!!! :) Olive Garden, 7.30. Thanks Lex 

**Lexa Woods:**

Well done you!!!

 

It was the end of homeroom and Clarke was putting her backpack on when she saw Lexa getting up to leave. She remembered their duologue and decided to catch up with the girl to see when they could practice it.

“I’m going to go catch up with Lexa,” she told Raven and Octavia who gave each other a knowing look.

“Don’t look at each other like that! I need to ask her when we can rehearse for drama is all,” Clarke rolled her eyes and walked to Lexa who was halfway out the door.

“See you in gym, Clarke,” Raven half shouted to her.

“Hey, Lexa,” Clarke shyly smiled as she walked next to the brunette.

“Oh, Clarke, hi,” Lexa responded feeling a little taken back by Clarke approaching her outside of a class.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to rehearse the duologue tonight or tomorrow? We have drama Friday and I think it would be good to read through lines together before then,” Clarke explained.

“Oh, um, sorry. I’m busy tonight chaperoning my little brother’s date and tomorrow is soccer practice,” Lexa said.

Clarke nodded and looked at the ground as they walked, trying to not look annoyed. “That’s okay, we can just work on it on Friday.”

“Unless… you could come tonight. My brother’s going to Olive Garden and I’ll be sitting a few tables over by myself. I know it won’t be the best environment for a read through but it’s better than nothing…” Lexa explained and awkwardly stumbled over her words.

“Did you just ask me out on a date?” Clarke smirked and Lexa darted her eyes to the ground.

 _Maybe she’s not as scary as I think she is…_ Clarke thought.

“I’m kidding! It sounds good, I _love_ Olive Garden” she practically drooled. “Thanks for adding me on Facebook by the way, I wasn’t sure if it was weird to do that but I thought we might as well have a way to contact each other for drama.”

“It’s okay. What do you have now?” Lexa asked.

“Health,” Clarke groaned. “I hate health.”

“I heard that you were interested in medicine,” Lexa said.

“Where’d you hear that from?” Clarke asked. She had never really spoken to Lexa before senior year and was confused.

“Your friends are very loud,” Lexa chuckled.

“I should I have known,” Clarke jokingly shook her head. “I’m going this way,” she pointed down a corridor, “What time later?”

“Oh, crap, I forgot to say, sorry! 7:30.”

“Great,” she smiled.

 

“Clarke, we have all decided that we’re going round Monty’s later for a movie night. You in?” Raven asked Clarke as the two girls got changed into their gym clothes.

“Uhh… not tonight,” Clarke said. She hadn’t considered telling Octavia and Raven that she had made plans with Lexa Woods.

“Why not?” Raven asked, her eyes narrowing at her friend.

“I have plans…” Clarke said as naturally as she could.

“What plans?”

“I’m going out for dinner." 

“Where?”

“Olive Garden.”

“With who?”

“Are you done with this interrogation?” Clarke asked.

“I will be when you tell me with who.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Please, Clarke. Please, please, pretty please!” Raven begged.

“Lexa Woods…” Clarke gave up.

“Interesting…” Raven thought. “Is this a date?”

“No, she has to chaperone her brother’s date so she invited me along so we can run lines since it’s the only time she’s free before drama on Friday,” Clarke explained.

“Okay, I’ll let you off the hook this time, Griffin. But you gotta understand why this is a big deal for O and I. She’s the only openly gay girl in our grade,” Raven told her. “Now come and help me put my shorts on over this damn brace will you? My leg is fucking killing me today.”

“Tell me again why they still make you participate in gym?” Clarke asked as she put Raven’s feet through the leg holes. The school shorts were not the most comfortable or easiest things for leg braces.

“If you can drum like you do then you can play tennis like we do,” Raven mocked the gym teacher’s voice, eliciting a cackle from Clarke.

The girls made their way to the gym and sat down next to the boys, awaiting further instruction.

“Today, we’re going to have a nice friendly game of dodgeball since we haven’t been back at school long,” Titus announced.

Clarke groaned, but beside her Raven pumped her fist in the air.

“Don’t get too excited, Reyes, next week it will be volleyball. I think your leg can handle that,” Titus shot her an evil smile.

“Whatever. See you on the side-lines, Griffin,” Raven patted her friends back and went to sit at the edge of the gym.

Raven participated in gym mainly because she refused to believe that there was anything wrong with her leg. She was in a car crash when she was a child, which resulted in the death of her mother who was driving, and for Raven to be near paralysed in her left leg until a surgery that she had at the beginning of high school. The surgery left her with use of her leg whilst it was in a brace, but one of the repercussions was regular pain. Still, Raven ignored it the best that she could, but all the teachers all secretly knew that she was in denial about what happened, so they went along with her wit and humour defense mechanism. They let her participate in everything that everyone else done, except dodgeball as Principal Jaha said he couldn’t allow it because of the nature of the sport.

Her father, also in denial, had other coping mechanisms. He turned to alcohol and a year after his wife’s death, he lost custody of Raven, and she went to live with her grandmother.

 

 ***1 new message from Lexa Woods** ***** flashed up on Clarke’s screen when she logged into Facebook once getting home from school.

**Lexa Woods:**

Tonight 7:30, Olive Garden. I might as well pick you up at 7:20 since I’m picking my brother’s date up too. Does that sound alright?

**Clarke Griffin:**

sounds good. remember your script!

**Lexa Woods:**

Remember yours.

 _Is she joking? Is this a joke or is she angry?_ Clarke asked herself. She could never figure out if people who put periods at the end of sentences were mad or if the just wrote with the right grammar. She shrugged it off as Lexa just typing properly and sent her reply.

**Clarke Griffin:**

i will! and i will see you later

**Lexa Woods:**

Clarke? I need your address.

“Oh crap,” Clarke muttered to herself and hit her palm on her forehead.

She proceeded to give Lexa her address and then opened a new tab to Tumblr where she found a reply from the Commander about her scissoring question.

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Not really. You’ve got to be pretty flexible to do it considering the size of things that you want to rub together…

Clarke let out an embarrassed laugh and replied, getting a reply almost instantly.

**anonymous asked:**

my friend tried to list the lesbian kama sutra to me. cringe –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Whilst some of the positions are interesting, a lot are difficult to do. You have to have a particular amount of lesbian experience to do them ;) I’d say 5 years of nothing but lesbian sex would do the trick.

**anonymous asked:**

sarcasm looks good on you :P –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Only online.

 

It was 7:15 and Clarke was packing her backpack, remembering her script, purse, keys and phone. Her blonde hair was effortlessly swept into a messy bun and her makeup was kept to a minimum, deciding to just reapply her eyeliner than had slowly rubbed off throughout the school day.

She heard a car horn beep from outside so she slipped her shoes on, grabbed her coat and walked outside, locking the front door behind her.

Lexa was standing outside the driver’s door waiting to greet Clarke.

“Hey, Lexa!” Clarke called as she walked over.

“Hi, Clarke. You can sit in the front, Aden’s in the back,” Lexa smiled and waited for the blonde to get to the passenger side door before she opened her own one.

“Aden, this is Clarke,” Lexa introduced the two.

“Hi,” Clarke turned around in her seat to smile and wave at the younger boy.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled at her.

“You nervous about your date?” Clarke asked him as she put her seatbelt on.

“Yeah, just a bit,” he chuckled.

“You’ll be fine!” Lexa reassured him and drove to Charlotte’s house, which wasn’t too far away from Clarke’s.

“How have you been, Clarke?” Lexa asked trying to make conversation.

“Uh, fine since you last saw me 10 hours ago,” Clarke joked.

“Right, sorry,” Lexa laughed.

“I didn’t even know you liked drama,” Clarke said.

“I don’t really, it’s just a class to pass the time,” Lexa explained.

“Same for me. I don’t find it as stressful as the other classes,” Clarke agreed.

Soon enough, they were pulled up outside Charlotte’s house and Aden was rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans before he went to knock on her door.

“Calm down,” Lexa told him. “You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Aden also whispered and got out of the car, smoothing out non-existent creases in his shirt.

Clarke and Lexa watched him walk up to Charlotte’s front door and knock. He turned to them in the car and smiled as he waited for Charlotte to open the door. When she did, he greeted her with a quick hug and escorted her to the car.

“So cute,” Clarke muttered to herself, not realising that Lexa had heard and took it as a compliment. After all, Aden was her brother.

“Hi,” Charlotte smiled as she got in the car, clearly as nervous as Aden.

“Hi, I’m Clarke. I’m Lexa’s… friend,” Clarke said hesitantly. She wasn’t quite sure who she was to Lexa. Friend seemed a bit too strong of a word, but acquaintance just sounded awkward and rude.

“Ready to go?” Lexa barely even registered Clarke’s hesitation as she looked to see if Aden and Charlotte had their seatbelts on.

“Yup,” Aden nodded.

As she was turning back around, Lexa saw that he quickly slipped his hand into Charlotte’s and suppressed a smile.

 

“Okay, Olive Garden,” Lexa said as she pulled up into a parking space and turned to Aden when the car engine was off.

The young couple quickly untangled their hands and blushed.

“Clarke and I will be sitting a few tables over rehearsing lines. If you need me, just text me or walk over to us,” Lexa told Aden.

“Thanks, Lex,” Aden said and got out the car with Charlotte following him.

“Should we go?” Clarke asked Lexa.

“Yeah,” Lexa replied and they got out the car following closely behind Aden and Charlotte.

They were seated a few tables behind the couple and Lexa suddenly realised that she didn’t know how to make conversation with Clarke.

Now that the lighting was good enough and she didn’t focus on driving, she also realised how pretty Clarke looked. She was wearing the same clothes that she was wearing in school, but her hair and makeup made her look effortlessly beautiful. 

Lexa blinked a couple of times, not knowing what to do with these thoughts, and decided to push them to the side. She barely knew Clarke. This was not a date.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“I asked you what you usually order from here.”

“Oh, um, pasta of some sort usually. I’ll probably get the ravioli. What about you?” 

“Definitely the garlic rosemary chicken,” Clarke threw her head back demonstrating just how much she liked it.

They went quiet for a couple of seconds before Clarke spoke up again. “You know, I never thought you liked me or my friends…”

“I didn’t,” Lexa admitted.

Clarke scrunched her face up and tried to backtrack her words. “Okay, well if you don’t like me or O or anyone, please don’t take it out on our drama grade, or Octavia’s chances on the soccer team…” Clarke began to ramble.

“Clarke, it’s okay. That was before I really spoke to any of you. You’re a nice person and Octavia is an incredibly good soccer player. I actually even enjoyed music with Raven,” Lexa explained.

“Then how come you’re so quiet? As far as the rest of the school thinks, the soccer team are pretty intimidating and don’t really like to spend time with anyone else,” the blonde said. Lexa released that her eyeliner made her eyes look somehow even bluer. 

“Like I said before, your friends are very loud,” Lexa smiled, making Clarke laugh, “and we like to keep to ourselves. It’s nothing personal, I’m just not as… sociable as you are.”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded and smiled.

“Hi, are you two ready to order?” A man of about 30 came over to their table.

“Yeah, can I get the garlic rosemary chicken and a water, please?” Clarke asked. 

“Yep,” the man wrote her order down on a small notebook and turned to Lexa. “And for you?”

“Uh, cheese ravioli and water, thanks.”

“No problem, that should be about 10 minutes,” the man smiled and took their menus.

“Wanna run lines?” Clarke asked.

“Sure,” Lexa said and they pulled out their scripts from their bags.

They turned to the right page and Lexa cleared her throat.

“Charming day it has been, Miss Fairfax,” she tried to sound as formal as she could, not wanting to make an idiot out of herself in a restaurant or in front of Clarke.

“Pray don’t talk to me about the weather, Mr Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me feel so nervous,” Clarke read her lines imitating Lexa’s tone.

Lexa watched Clarke’s facial expressions change as she got more into character and tried to do the same.

“I do mean something else…”

“I thought so. In fact, I’m never wrong,” Clarke smirked in character and leant close to Lexa, making her breath hitch in awkwardness.

Lexa wasn’t sure if it was the characters making the proximity between them disappear or if it was just because Clarke was a people person and enjoyed the sociable aspect of their task.

“I’m sorry…” Lexa buried her face in her palms. “I’m just not as good at this as you are.” 

“Lexa, it was fine. This is our first run through and we’re at Olive Garden, it doesn’t matter if you suck,” Clarke smiled and tentatively pulled and one of Lexa’s wrists so she could see her face.

Lexa nodded and continued the scene. “And I would like to be allowed to take advantage of Lady Bracknell’s temporary absence…” she matched Clarke’s tone and confidence.

Clarke gave a small lopsided smile and got back into character. “I would certainly advise you to do so. Mother has a way of coming back suddenly into a room that I have often had to speak to her about.”

Lexa swallowed nervously before she recited her next line. “Miss Fairfax, ever since I met you I have admired you more than any girl… I have ever met since… I met you…”

For a second Lexa could have sworn she saw Clarke break character and smile slightly.

“Hi, sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” their waiter came back over carrying two glasses of water.

“Not at all,” Clarke smiled and leant back in her chair.

“Here are your waters, and the food will be over any minute now,” he said, putting the drinks down in front of each girl. 

“Thanks,” they both said at the same time.

“That was quicker than I expected,” Lexa said and put her script back in her bag.

“Well I don’t know about you but I’m starving,” Clarke said, her voice over exaggerating.

Lexa glanced over at Aden and Charlotte who seemed to be having a good time. Their food had just been given to them and Charlotte had a grin plastered across her face. 

“Their date looks like it’s going well,” Clarke said, picking up Lexa’s sudden big sisterly mood.

“Yeah, they’re doing good,” Lexa smiled.

“How old is he?” Clarke asked as she saw the waiter walking towards the table with their food.

“He’s 13. Last year of middle school. Charlotte’s in the grade below,” Lexa told them and thanked the waiter who put her pasta down in front of her.

“That’s sweet. Is this his first date?”

“As far as I’m aware, yes,” Lexa nodded and began to eat her pasta.

Clarke suddenly let out an ungodly moan. “This is so good,” she said with a mouthful of chicken.

“My brother has good taste then?” The brunette smiled.

“Charlotte is a very lucky lady,” Clarke winked.

 

They were nearing the end of their meal and Lexa decided to text Aden to ask him if he was planning on getting a desert instead of getting up and potentially embarrassing him.

Once she hit send, she looked over to him and saw that he was pulling his phone out from his pocket.

**Aden Woods:**

Yeah I was planning too if that’s cool

**Lexa Woods:**

No problem.

“Aden and Charlotte are gonna get a desert. Did you want one?” Lexa looked up from her phone to Clarke.

“I honestly think I’m too stuffed for desert,” Clarke laughed and slouched in her seat.

“That’s okay. We could run some more lines or sit and wait or something?”

“Running lines sounds good,” Clarke nodded and got her script from her bag.

 

20 minutes later and the four of them were back in the car driving to Charlotte’s.

“Did you have a good time?” Lexa asked the two younger teenagers in the back seat.

“Yeah, thanks for coming, Lex,” Aden said.

“I had a _great_ time. Good choice on restaurant, Aden. I think I’ll be full for about a week,” Clarke joked.

“Clarke loves Olive Garden,” Lexa told him and shot a teasing smile at Clarke. 

“You can pull up here,” Charlotte said as Lexa drove to up to her house.

“No problem,” Lexa said and pulled the handbrake, stopping the car.

“Thanks for driving and everything, Lexa, and it was nice to meet you, Clarke,” Charlotte said as her and Aden got out the car. 

“Likewise,” Clarke said.

The two girls watched Aden walk Charlotte up to her front door and say goodnight. He took her hand and kissed her on the cheek – Lexa could have sworn he glanced quickly at the car to see if they were watching.

She snapped her head round to look somewhere other than the young couple and Clarke copied, realising that she probably shouldn’t be watching such a private moment between the two.

Lexa watched from the corner of her eye as she focused on a streetlight next to the house and saw Charlotte nod and smile slightly and Aden leant in to give her a quick peck on the lips. He smiled and began to walk away as Charlotte walked into her house and slowly shut the door behind her. 

“Ready to go?” She asked her brother when he got in the car, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Yeah,” Aden said and turned to look out the window.

 

They pulled up to Clarke’s house and Lexa turned to her.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at soccer practice? I’m assuming you’ll be there because of Octavia.”

“Of course, we’re not gonna miss her first practice!” Clarke exclaimed.

“Okay, I’ll see you then. Thanks for coming tonight, by the way,” Lexa said shyly.

“It’s okay, I had fun,” Clarke smiled and opened the door. “See you, Aden.”

“Bye, Clarke,” Aden replied from the backseat.

Lexa stayed pulled up outside of Clarke’s until she saw Clarke get in safely and then started to drive back to her house.

“Is Charlotte your girlfriend then?” Lexa asked, deciding to just be blunt.

“I don’t know…” Aden began.

“Oh come on, Ade! You kissed her and she was _so_ smitten, if you didn’t actually ask her you should when you next see her,” she told him.

“You saw that? You weren’t meant to see!” Aden’s voiced raised in embarrassment.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it was super cute,” Lexa said.

“Fine, I’ll ask her. Did _you_ have a good time? I didn’t even know Clarke was your friend. When you texted me earlier to say that she’d be coming too I was a little surprised. You always go on about how you hate anyone who isn’t on the soccer team,” Aden said. 

“I do, Clarke and I just needed to rehearse some school work together since we were paired up,” she told him.

“You wouldn’t stop staring at her!”

“She’s just a nice person. She’s different from her friends,” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“It’s never too early to develop a crush, Lex,” Aden smirked cheekily. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s super cute,” he mimicked her.

“I can play embarrassing big sister if you want me to,” Lexa fake threatened her brother who just laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates may become more infrequent over may because i have a big project to work on at school which needs all my attention, sorry :( i finish school in a month though so after that i will become a full Clexa Gay™ again


	6. Shaking Off Performance Nerves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Lexa and Clarke growing closer at Olive Garden and their duologue performance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this has taken almost a month to update! school's basically left me with almost no free time so i've had to keep stopping and starting when writing this chapter, but hopefully it sort of makes up for the delay

Clarke woke up to her phone buzzing beside her. She unlocked it and checked the time – 7:31am, she had enough time to get ready for school without a rush. She checked her texts and unsurprisingly found the cause of the buzzing to be her group chat. 

**Raven Reyes:**

How was the date last night Clarke ?? ;) 

**Monty Green:**

Clarke went on a date???

**Jasper Jordan:**

why wasn’t it with me??????

**Octavia Blake:**

Wait WHAT

**Bellamy Blake:**

Thanks Clarke. Octavia is now bugging me about this as if I know anything about it…

**Octavia Blake:**

Because you might!!!!!!!!

**Bellamy Blake:**

I don’t.

Clarke rolled her eyes. Of course it would be Raven to mention it on the group chat and get everyone involved.

**Clarke Griffin:**

fuck you Ray. it wasn’t a date 

She put her phone down on her bed, leaving it to buzz with anticipation at her friends’ questions as she showered.

 

Clarke walked into homeroom with her friends’ eyes on her waiting for her to talk. She glanced over to Raven who just shrugged. 

“I told them nothing,” the dark haired girl said.

“It wasn’t a date. Can we please just talk about something else?” Clarke asked her friends.

“Can you just tell us who it was with?” Octavia pleaded.

“No.”

“Why does Raven know everything before me?” Octavia asked disappointedly. 

“Because Raven sticks her nose into other people’s business,” Clarke informed her.

“So,” Bellamy began, sensing Clarke was uncomfortable with the attention, “what does everyone have first?”

 

“I overheard something interesting in the locker room yesterday…” Anya told Lexa as they took their seats in chemistry.

“What?” Lexa asked as she got her textbook out of her bag.

“You and Clarke Griffin went out to Olive Garden. Why didn’t you tell me?” Anya asked, a smirk hidden in her tone of voice. 

“I don’t know. We were just reading lines whilst I chaperoned Aden’s date,” Lexa shrugged. “It wasn’t important.”

Anya studied her friend’s for a few seconds before coming to a realisation. “Do you like her?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’ve been talking to her for a couple of days, it’s way too early to jump to that conclusion,” Lexa grew more frustrated.

“Just the way you act whenever anyone brings her up, it’s different. But if you say you don’t like her, I’ll drop it,” Anya shrugged and turned her attention to the front of the classroom waiting for Wick to start.

“Thank you,” Lexa said.

She couldn’t deny that she did like Clarke. It was stupid really, she knew that it was stupid; it had been a couple of days since they were paired together for the duologue. But when she spoke to her, she felt as if she already knew her, like they’d been friends for months or even years. Clarke was just different than how she ever perceived the girl in the past – she thought she was annoying and obnoxious, but the more time she spent with her, the more she realise that she was wrong.

 

**anonymous asked:**

save me from my friends –c

Clarke sent the Commander on Tumblr a message during lunch. Her friends were still trying to guess who she went out with last night, and it was giving her a headache. She got a reply almost instantly. 

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Save me from mine.

**anonymous asked:**

what are yours doing? -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Everyone keeps asking me if I’ve got a crush on a girl that I’ve only really known for a couple of days.

**anonymous asked:**

do you? -c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Not you too, C! If only you could see how much I’m internally groaning right now.

**anonymous asked:**

sorry sorry it’s none of my business. my friends aren’t any better though, they keep trying to ask me who i was out with last night –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

It’s okay. I have a little crush on her I guess. I don’t know. I just realised that I got my first impression of her totally wrong and she’s actually a really cool person, not an obnoxious idiot. I just think it would be cool to be her friend. Was this a date last night? Any pretty girls involved helping you figure yourself out? ;)

**anonymous asked:**

look at you all smitten! if she’s a cool person, just talk to her more, ask if she wants to hang out more in or outside of school. and no it wasn’t a date, but yes she is a pretty girl. we’re just working together for a project. if anything she’s just making me more attracted to girls –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Take your own advice! Talk to her, ask her to hang out. 

**anonymous asked:**

i think that’s what im gonna have to do. thanks :) i gotta get to class now though so i’ll talk soon. bye! –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Thanks for the advice.

 

“Listen up!” Titus bellowed as the soccer team huddled around each other on the field. “Since it’s a new year, that means a new captain. Now I’ve seen what all of you can do, your strengths and weaknesses, and the person that I am making team captain is incredibly skilled. _She_ knows how to separate thoughts from feelings when it comes to the field and she knows how to manoeuvre a ball. And that is why I am making Lexa this year’s captain.”

Lexa smiled at the ground, uncomfortable with the attention but happy that she got to be the captain.

The rest of the team clapped and patted her on the back and shoulders.

“Well done,” Lincoln grinned.

“Yeah, now you can live up to your nickname, _Commander_ ,” Anya waggled her eyebrows.

“Where did I even get that nickname from?” Lexa asked with faux annoyance.

“You’re always telling us what to do,” Anya laughed and in return Lexa smacked her head playfully.

“Okay, Woods, you’re leading the warm up,” Titus told her and stepped to the side to let Lexa take his place and address the team.

“What was all that cheering about?” Monty asked from the bleachers as he, Jasper, Bellamy, Clarke and Raven watched the practice.

“I don’t know but they seem to be celebrating something about Lexa,” Bellamy answered.

“Hm…” Raven contemplated. “What do you think, Clarke?”

“Raven, can I talk to you for a minute?” Clarke immediately turned to her friend.

“Uh, yeah sure,” Raven said and got up to follow Clarke to the locker room.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Ray?” Clarke snapped.

“What…?” Raven asked, a little taken aback by Clarke’s tone.

“Don’t play dumb now, Raven. What is it with you trying to make it obvious to _everyone_ that I like Lexa?!”

“So you _do_ like her!” Raven clapped before noticing Clarke’s glare. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t realise it was a big deal. I was just messing around.”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” Clarke threw her arms in the air in a huff and sat down on a bench. “I start questioning my sexuality and the first girl I see, who happens to be gay, I like.” 

“Sorry, I won’t joke about it anymore. I didn’t realise this was such a big deal for you,” Raven sat next to her. “It’s okay though y’know. Liking girls _and_ liking Lexa. No matter how scary she may seem. Although after music the other day I’m not as intimidated by her anymore. She’s one heck of a bass player." 

Clarke smiled. “Thank you. I don’t mind you and O knowing all this stuff, you guys are my best friends. I’d just rather the guys didn’t know whilst I work all this out. You know Jasper has a thing for lesbians…”

Raven shuddered. “Oh jeez, I forgot about that.”

Clarke laughed and laid her head on Raven’s shoulder. She didn’t know how she got a crush on Lexa in the first place. One minute she was just a scary girl on the soccer team who didn’t talk to anyone, the next minute she was joking about Oscar Wilde.

“We should probably get back to the bleachers. Octavia wouldn’t want us to miss her first practice,” Clarke said. 

“You’re right, c’mon,” Raven got up and took Clarke’s hand.

 

“Hey, O!” Raven and Clarke burst into the locker room as Octavia was pulling off her soccer top.

“Hey!” Octavia grinned and pulled them both in for a hug.

“Ew, gross, you smell,” Raven screwed her face up, making Octavia laugh.

“Great first practice! You were so good!” Clarke smiled and let Octavia put a clean top on.

“Thanks guys!” Octavia beamed.

“What was all the cheering about at the beginning?” Raven asked.

“Oh, they made Lexa the captain,” Octavia told them.

Raven and Clarke nodded.

“Where did you guys go off to? I looked up to you all half way through the warm up and you weren’t there,” Octavia frowned. 

“Oh, I had to talk to Raven,” Clarke said.

“About how she keeps bringing up last night?” Octavia asked almost instantly.

“Uh, yeah. And listen, O, I will tell you. I just don’t want it to be a big deal,” Clarke told her.

“It’s okay,” Octavia smiled. “You don’t have to tell me,” she said, sensing the blonde’s discomfort over the topic.

“No, I want to,” Clarke smiled but her attention was taken away by Lexa, Anya and Niylah walking into the locker room. “One second,” she smiled briefly and walked over to Lexa who was now about to start getting changed.

“Does she like her?” Octavia asked Raven whilst looking at Clarke walk over to Lexa.

“Yeah,” Raven simply answered.

“Was that who she was out with last night?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, Lexa,” Clarke tentatively approached the girl around her friends.

“Clarke, hi,” Lexa smiled faintly.

“Octavia just told me that you made captain and I want to say congratulations, you must be a really good player.”

“You’ll see if you come to the game next month,” Lexa told her.

“Okay,” Clarke smiled and nodded before made her way back to her friends. 

“What happened?” Raven asked, her and Octavia immediately noticed the smile that couldn’t be washed off Clarke’s face.

“I think I just got invited to the game in October,” Clarke’s smile turned into a toothy grin.

 

Friday went quicker than expected and Clarke and Octavia were relaxing at Clarke’s house in the evening watching a movie and gossiping.

“How are you and Lincoln?” Clarke asked as she shovelled a mouthful of popcorn into her mouth.

“I don’t know, he’s really nice and we’ve got the movie tomorrow,” Octavia’s eyes lit up at the thought of the boy.

“Are you gonna kiss him?” Clarke asked, her voice sounding childlike as she made Octavia laugh. 

“God, I hope so. He’s so hot,” she gushed. “But enough about me, what about you and Lexa?” 

“What about us?”

“I know it was her that you were with on Wednesday,” Octavia said.

“It was nothing, we were rehearsing lines and the only chance she could get to do it before today was when she was chaperoning her brother’s date by herself at Olive Garden,” Clarke explained.

“Okay, so it wasn’t a date. But did you enjoy yourself?”

“I did,” Clarke answered honestly. “She also thinks very highly about your soccer abilities.”

“I thought she hated us…” Octavia mused.

“She did, but that was before she actually really got to start knowing us.”

“Well I’m glad you two are friends,” Octavia said and they sat in a comfortable silence watching the movie until Clarke spoke up again. 

“Do you not think it’s weird that you’ve only been properly talking to Lincoln for like a week and you’re already gushing over him?” Clarke asked.

“Well when you put it like that, yeah. But I’ve always thought that Lincoln was hot and when he asked me to go to the movies with him it made me really happy. I just know what I want, there’s no point wasting time. I’ll learn about him as we go on dates, that’s the whole point of dating,” Octavia told the blonde who had now laid her head in her lap.

“So it’s not weird that I have a crush on Lexa?” Clarke admitted.

Octavia began to stroke her blonde waves. “No, of course not. If you like her, you like her. But it’s okay to establish a friendship first or not even do anything about it if you don’t want to. You don’t have to do what Lincoln and I are doing.”

Clarke turned to look at Octavia and smiled. “Thanks, O.”

“No problem. How was drama?” Octavia asked.

“It was okay. Lexa and I just rehearsed our lines, we have it again on Monday before performing it on Tuesday so we don’t need to meet up over the weekend,” Clarke said trying her best to hide her pout. 

“You sad about that?” Octavia tickled her armpit and she squirmed away giggling.

 

Performing the duologue was scary. Lexa sat with nerves bubbling up in her stomach as Harper and Miller performed their version of the scene. Clarke sensed the girl’s discomfort and rubbed her arm.

“You’ll be fine,” she whispered. “Our practices went great, you’ll do great,” she reassured her, a little surprised that a girl who she once considered one of the most intimidating people in her grade was almost shaking beside her.

Clarke had spent the weekend making up for missing her friends’ movie night and scheduled one at her house for Saturday evening, timing it so that Octavia could come straight over after her date with Lincoln.

“Clarke and Lexa,” Sienna announced, snapping Clarke out of her daydream.

“That’s us, c’mon,” she bounced up out of her chair. Lexa followed, but not nearly as enthusiastically as Clarke.

“Who’s playing who?” Sienna asked when they made their way to the stage.

“I’m Gwendolen, she’s Jack,” Clarke said.

Sienna nodded and gestured to them to begin. 

Lexa recited her lines smoothly and seemingly a lot more confidently than her first rehearsal a week earlier with Clarke. Lexa poured her emotions into this one performance, allowing Clarke to act off of her. She swore it was just so that Clarke wouldn’t fail the task because of her.

“Gwendolen, will you marry me?” She asked softly, in character, and got down on her knees.

Clarke remained in character but could sense Lexa’s concentration and her ability to seemingly be Jack with ease. She spoke her lines and clapped her hands together. “Of course I will, darling! How long you have been about it!” She knelt, getting on the same level as Lexa. “I am afraid you have had very little experience in how to propose.”

Lexa scrunched her face up for a second and shook her head in almost disbelief. “My own one, I have never loved anyone in the world but you.”

Clarke let out a little huff of nervous air in character to hide her performance nerves. All of a sudden she was aware that all eyes in the room were on her, but she continued with ease. “Yes, but men often propose for practice. I know my brother Gerald does. All my girl-friends tell me so,” her gaze stopped flickering around the room and settled on to Lexa’s face. “What wonderfully green eyes you have, Ernest! They are quite, quite green. I hope you will always look at me just like that, especially when there are other people present.”

Lexa tried to contain a blush that threatened to spread itself over her high cheekbones as the class began to clap.

Clarke broke character as she beamed a smile at Lexa who couldn’t help but smile back.

“Well done girls. Harper and Nathan, you two are next. Get yourselves ready,” Sienna clapped as Clarke and Lexa sat back down in their seats.

 

“Lexa, could I talk to you for a second?” Sienna called to her as she was putting her backpack on.

“Sure,” she said simply.

“See you later, Lexa,” Clarke waved and left to go to her next class.

“Bye,” she nodded and walked towards Sienna.

“Your performance was very good,” the teacher praised her.

Lexa shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting to the floor. “Thank you.”

“I mean it. Have you heard about the play that we’re putting on in spring?” Sienna asked.

“Uh, briefly, yes,” Lexa nodded, knowing that the school were putting on a production of _Much Ado About Nothing._

“You should audition next month, you’d make a good Beatrice.”

Lexa smiled at the floor and nodded, “I’ll think about it.”

 

“Where have you been?” Anya asked as Lexa hurried into math 5 minutes late.

“I got caught up in drama with Sienna,” the out of breath girl explained.

“Oh?” Anya suddenly became interested in the conversation. “I thought you hated drama?”

“I do, but I guess it’s bearable now.”

“Because of Clarke?”

“She just makes it more interesting. Time passes quicker,” Lexa shrugged.

Anya contemplated making a snarky remark at Lexa about how she took the class so that time _would_ pass quicker and that it was meant to be a class that she wouldn’t particularly care about but that seemed to have changed since she met Clarke, but decided against it. All that would do is get her friend to close up, which she wouldn’t want, not after last summer with Costia.

“What did Sienna want then?” She asked instead.

“She told me to audition for _Much Ado About Nothing_ …” Lexa told her hesitantly.

“Really?” Anya furrowed her brow.

“Yeah, she said my performance was really good today.”

“Clarke probably had something to do with that,” Anya teased.

Lexa rolled her eyes, ignoring the comment, knowing full well that if she retaliated she’d admit her crush for Clarke. Her teeny-tiny crush. “I was thinking about going for it,” she said. 

“What? I mean if that’s what you want then go for it! But don’t miss soccer practice. We need you, Commander,” Anya said, trying her best to be supportive.

“Soccer is my main priority right now, I’m not going to miss it for anything. But Sienna did say I’d make a good Beatrice,” Lexa smirked and held her head high.

“I could see that,” Anya smiled at her.

 

“How was drama?” Octavia waggled her eyebrows at Clarke as the blonde sat next to her in lunch.

“It was really good actually, Lexa’s a really good actress,” Clarke smiled.

“Lexa? Lexa who stares at you like she’s going to murder you if you even look in her general direction is a good actress? I’ll believe it when I see it,” Jasper laughed.

“Whatever, Jasper. At least drama's fun unlike chem,” Clarke joked.

“Chemistry is fun…” Jasper sulked and coward into his chair.

She smirked and took a bite of her sandwich before turning to Octavia again. “Sienna spoke to her after class though so I didn’t get to speak her properly about the performance or anything,” she said with a small sigh.

“You can always Facebook her tonight,” Octavia suggested.

“Yeah,” Clarke said and smiled at her friend.

 

**Clarke Griffin:**

hey, great performance today!! sorry we didn’t get to discuss it much, i had to rush off to art whilst you were talking to sienna

Lexa smiled at the message she received from Clarke in the evening and quickly sent a reply.

**Lexa Woods:**

That’s okay. Could you tell I was really nervous? I felt like I was really nervous.

**Clarke Griffin:**

not at all! you seemed very confident and at ease to me, but maybe that was just because i was acting off of you

**Lexa Woods:**

Few! I was just trying to focus all my nervous energy into the scene.

**Clarke Griffin:**

well it worked :) what did sienna want with you anyway? (if you wanna share)

**Lexa Woods:**

Oh, she actually advised me to audition for Much Ado About Nothing. 

**Clarke Griffin:**

wowo! go for it! if you want to ofc lol 

**Lexa Woods:**

I’m actually seriously considering it. Drama hasn’t been all bad I guess, I’ve never really liked it in the past but it’s growing on me. Are you going to audition too?

**Clarke Griffin:**

do any of your soccer friends know? and no im not auditioning im helping painting sets instead

**Lexa Woods:**

Yeah, I told Anya and she was surprisingly supportive. I thought she’d be all stick to the status quo but no she was cool. 

**Clarke Griffin:**

i never thought i’d see the day when lexa woods quoted high school musical

Lexa chuckled to herself and began to tell Clarke how _High School Musical_ was actually one of her guilty pleasures and she loved it growing up, even seeing the third movie when it came out in the theater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not 100% happy with this chapter but it's the best i can do right now with school and then the season 3 finale which has left me a bit emotionally wounded, so sorry if it seemed a bit flat. on the upside, i have one week left of school, so i promise after that i will be posting a big fat chapter to add to this fic that I can dedicate all of my time to :)
> 
> if anyone knows of any nice fluffy (and smutty) clexa fics that they would like to share to help me get over the finale please feel free to comment with them. i have a load bookmarked on my profile too if anyone needs something good to get over the disappointing clexa reunion (personal opinion pls don't hate me)


	7. Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa agrees to take on some extra curricular activities and gets partnered up in class with Clarke again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the rating has gone up in this chapter! nothing too big, just a little shower scene giving clarke some self love (because yikes does she need some)

Lexa sat eating dinner in near enough silence with Aden and her mother Luna.

“How’s school going, Alexandria?” Luna asked, her tone borderline uninterested.

“Good,” Lexa simply reply as she took another messy bite of her spaghetti.

“Good? That’s all you want to tell me?” Luna furrowed her eyebrows.

Aden became intensely focused on his dinner as he heard his mother get frustrated.

“Coach Titus made me team captain,” Lexa shrugged.

“I should expect so. And how are your studies?”

“Uh, they’re okay. I performed that duologue I told you about with Clarke yesterday. Sienna said that my performance was pretty good and told me that I should consider auditioning for _Much Ado About Nothing_ next month,” Lexa explained.

“Duologue? You never told me about a duologue,” Luna shook her head trying to recall that conversation with her daughter.

“She told you about it on Sunday night, mom,” Aden said, not even looking at his mother. Her lack of attention for her children made him grow increasingly more frustrated.

Luna shook her head and leaned across the table to rest her hand on Lexa’s arm. “Sweetie, I’m glad your duologue went well, but you can’t seriously consider auditioning. You’ve got the responsibility of the soccer team _and_ your grades. Don’t go putting too much food on your plate.”

Lexa nodded and did consider her mother’s words. Whilst she wasn’t the most present mother and didn’t really have a clue what Lexa and Aden were doing in school, she could give advice when she needed to, even if it wasn’t the most supportive.

With careful thought about her scheduling, Lexa decided to just go for it. There was no harm in bumping up her extra curricular activities a bit, and there was no telling if she’d even get a part in the play. She’d come to enjoy drama and acting – it allowed her to escape her hectic life for a while and actually have fun.

 

Lexa strummed the school guitar in the corner of the music room, away from most of the noise coming from other students. She was so focused that she didn’t see Raven making her way over too her, only heard her groan as she sat on the floor beside her.

Lexa visibly jumped as she was taken out of her own world. “Jesus, Raven, you scared the shit out of me.”

“No kidding,” Raven chuckled. “I was thinking we should sign up for the show that the department is putting on.”

“Wow, it’s just straight to the point with you,” Lexa said, a little taken aback.

“I’m assuming bass isn’t your first instrument like you played last week and you play guitar?”

“They’re not that different,” Lexa shrugged.

“Well if your guitar skills are as good as your bass skills, you gotta be good. Do you sing?”

“A little…” Lexa answered shyly. She hadn’t sung in front of a crowd since middle school.

“That’s perfect! We gotta sign up!” Raven grinned enthusiastically.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Raven. I’ve got soccer practices and I told Sienna that I’d audition for the play…”

“C’mon, Woods!” Raven practically begged. “It’s an end of semester show. We’ve got three months before then. It gives us loads of time. Besides, you can’t deny that you liked playing with me,” she raised an eyebrow.

“Okay fine, I did enjoy the other week, but it’ll give me too much on my plate,” Lexa remembered her mother’s words.

“I’ll let you pick out a name for us so that we’re not just Reyes and Woods,” Raven tried to persuade the girl.

“Why wouldn’t it be Woods and Reyes?” Lexa furrowed her brow in mock offence.

“Because no one comes before me.”

Lexa chuckled a bit and lowered her head in thought, which when she looked back at it, that was probably the quietest she’d ever heard Raven as she waited for an answer.

“I got it,” Lexa said all of a sudden. 

“Got what?” Raven asked.

“A name,” Lexa paused for affect. “Tree Crew.”

Raven looked at the girl for a second before bursting out laughing. “Tree Crew?!”

“Well you haven’t heard why yet!” Lexa huffed.

“Okay, okay, explain,” Raven resolved herself. 

“My last name is Woods, which explains the tree bit. And then your name, Raven, is a type of bird-”

“Obviously.”

“And birds live in trees. Tree Crew.” 

“Woah, woah, woah,” Raven back tracked. “So it’s basically Woods Crew?”

“No! _Tree_ Crew,” Lexa told her.

“So is this a yes?” Raven asked expectantly.

“Yes,” Lexa nodded her head and Raven fist bumped the air. “ _If_ we can call ourselves Tree Crew.”

“Fine,” Raven sighed. “But I’m giving it a cooler spelling,” she slowly got up and Lexa fought the urge to help her, knowing how independent Raven wanted to be. “Thanks, Lexa. You’re the best!” She made her way over to the sign up sheet.

At the end of the class when Lexa was leaving, she quickly scanned the sheet and saw hers and Raven’s names at the bottom with _Trikru_ written next to them. She smiled, admiring Raven’s imagination and made her way to biology.

 

Clarke sat at the back of the room flicking little paper balls into the back of Octavia’s head who sat on the desk in front of her whilst Charles Pike droned on about a project of some sort. Zoe Monroe, who sat next to her, snickered as one of Clarke’s paper balls skimmed the top of Octavia’s ear and hit John Murphy who sat in front of Octavia. 

He immediately slapped his hand to the back of his neck and turned around. “What the hell?”

Monroe sat stifling a laugh as Clarke kicked the leg of her chair.

“What?” Octavia asked.

“You just hit me with something!” Murphy got more riled up.

“Mr Murphy!” Pike announced. “What is going on?”

“Blake just threw something at my head!” Murphy almost shouted.

“What! No I didn’t!” Octavia argued back, her hand going behind her back to give Clarke the finger.

Clarke saw this and tried not to laugh. “Okay, I’ve gotta take the blame for this one, Mr Pike. I was aiming for Octavia.”

Murphy shot Clarke a glare.

“Stay behind at the end of class, Griffin,” Pike simply told her.

Clarke sighed and slouched into her seat when Monroe leaned over with a barely concealed whisper. “Nice shot though, you totally left a mark on him.”

“You too, Miss Monroe,” Pike said, not even turning his back from where he had turned to write on the board. 

“That’s not even fair!” Monroe whined.

“Would like to wait outside for me instead like a freshman?” Pike turned and put down his pen rather forcefully.

“No…” Monroe resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Pike picked up the pen and began writing again as Clarke smirked at the girl sitting next to her.

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Pike said. “You will have three weeks to complete a presentation of your choice. It is for revision purposes, so anything that you’re unsure of, you need to research and tell us what you’ve learnt by the end of it.”

Clarke groaned a little. She didn’t know why she was losing her interest in biology and her career goal to become a successful doctor, maybe it was the pressure from her mother, but she just didn’t want to do it anymore.

“I’ve put you into pairs already,” Pike said, to which there were groans all over the room. “Miss Blake, you’ll be with Miss Monroe.”

Octavia gave a not-so-subtle gasp of appreciation, probably for the fact that she wasn’t with someone like Indra, who still wasn’t happy about her being on the soccer team. 

Pike went down his list of names until he got to Clarke. “Miss Griffin, you’ll be with Miss Woods.”

Clarke sat with her mouth agape as her eyes sought out Lexa in the room, finding her directly in front of Murphy with Indra, the reason why she didn’t notice her before.

“For the last twenty minutes of the class, I want you to get into your pairs and discuss what you would like to do your presentation on,” Pike said.

There was a lot of shuffling around in the room as people went and sat next to their parents. Clarke saw Indra get up so she made the decision to get up and go over to Lexa. 

“Bye, Clarke,” Octavia and Monroe said at the same time as Octavia immediately took Clarke’s seat. 

Clarke teasingly rolled her eyes and gave them a lopsided smile as she put one of her backpack straps over her shoulder and made her way to Lexa.

“Hey,” she smiled as she got there. “Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead,” Lexa offered the seat next to her.

“So is there anything that you’re particularly struggling on?” Clarke asked as she got herself acquainted with her new location in the room. 

“Nothing really. I’m pretty solid on everything,” Lexa said.

Clarke’s brow furrowed. “Really? Everything? Like everything from freshman year?”

“I retain information well,” Lexa shrugged.

“Okay, well if you’re cool with it, I’d like to go back over the immune system,” Clarke suggested.

Lexa’s face actually lit up at this. “Oh yeah, that’s one of my favorites!”

Clarke chuckled to herself and got her notebook and pen out from her bag to start making notes on the kind of stuff they could research separately.

“Why don’t I research about different kinds of pathogens and you research what defense mechanisms there are in the body, and then we can put all of our research together and discuss it and build something out of it? That way we can have a visual demonstration instead of just having to go through a boring slide show,” Lexa explained. 

Clarke was seemingly surprised at Lexa’s initiative and enthusiasm for the project. “Sure, yeah. But if we’re going to do that we’re probably gonna have to meet up after school times and over the weekends.” 

“Does Sunday work? My mom should be out all day so it’ll just be Aden and I in. It gives us time to research so we can discuss that and then what we’re going to make,” Lexa said.

“What’s the day today?” Clarke hesitated.

“Thursday.”

“Then Sunday is fine,” Clarke smiled.

“Cool, well if you Facebook me on Saturday or before telling me what time you’ll be over I can get ready in time.”

“No problem.”

 

The end of the class came around quicker than Clarke expected and Lexa left Clarke sitting at the front of the classroom as she got lunch with Indra.

“See you in the lunchroom, Clarke,” Octavia said as she walked past the blonde on her way to the door.

“See ya,” Clarke mumbled. Honestly, it was embarrassing that she, a senior, had to stay behind at the end of class.

“I’m disappointed in both of you,” Pike sighed. “I don’t want to have to treat you girls like middle schoolers, because you’re not. You’ll be in college before you know it, and you cannot afford to lose your concentration at this time. Especially you, Clarke; I know how much becoming a doctor means to you,” Pike’s eyes darted to look at Clarke, who quickly looked away. “Not only were you distracting each other, but you were distracting the entire class, disrupting a lesson. 

Since this is both of your first mistakes, I’m not going to give you detentions. But do consider this a warning, because if you repeat your behaviour, there will be repercussions. Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes, Mr Pike,” Clarke mumbled.

“It won’t happen again,” Monroe’s hoarse voice said from the back of the classroom.

“Okay. You may go to lunch now,” Pike dismissed them.

The girls practically jumped out of their seats to leave and made their way to the lunchroom.

“I thought he was gonna murder us,” Monroe laughed.

“Note to self, don’t piss Pike off again!” Clarke smiled at the girl. “Hey, who are you eating lunch with?” 

“I usually sit with Harper, Miller, Bryan and that new girl Maya,” she said.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Clarke nodded. “I was gonna invite you to come sit with me and O and that lot but I wouldn’t want to separate your group or anything.”

“Maybe we’ll stop by your table at the end of lunch,” Monroe offered.

“Cool, okay,” Clarke agreed and lined up to get her lunch.

As she took a tray, she scanned the room for her friends, luckily finding them in their usual spot. An unspoken rule of where people sit in the lunchroom had come about in the first week or so of the year, and her friends had been fortunate enough to get a good table at the side of the room.

She took her lunch, her usual cheese sandwich, banana and a cookie and sat down next to Bellamy.

“Hello, criminal,” Jasper greeted her from the opposite side of the table.

“Turned to the dark side now, Clarke?” Raven teased.

“Yeah, be careful sitting next to Bellamy, you don’t wanna be influenced by his antics anymore,” Monty laughed with a mouthful of food.

Clarke looked towards Octavia with a raised eyebrow.

“I had no choice but to tell them where you were! They wore me down,” Octavia explained.

“Of course we did,” Raven said. “How could you say no to this pretty face,” she winked.

“Whatever, Ray,” Octavia rolled her eyes and threw a piece of cookie at her, which Raven impressively caught in her mouth and caused her cocky smirk to grow.

“Seriously though, Clarke. Are you okay? You’re usually focused in everything,” Monty asked.

“I’m fine, I was just having an off lesson. It was boring. You remember how Pike is,” Clarke explained to her friends, knowing all of them except Bellamy would remember their freshman year with Pike, when they were put into a group and subsequently became friends through their mutual hatred for Pike.

“Makes sense,” Jasper nodded and slurped his soup.

“Honestly, Jasper, how could you eat that? It looks infected,” Octavia looked disgusted.

“It’s fine,” he shrugged and continued to eat.

Clarke was grateful that her friends let it go, she didn’t fancy having a big conversation about her career plans when she didn’t even know what she wanted to do yet.

“Well in other news,” Raven began, “I persuaded Lexa to form a band with me and we’re performing in the show in December.”

“What? Ray that’s great!” Octavia grinned and rushed up to hug her friend.

“How the hell did you get her to do that?” Bellamy asked.

“Easy, you just tell her how good she is and let her pick the band name,” Raven explained.

“What is the band name?” Monty asked.

“Trikru,” Raven said proudly, growing fonder of the name.

“Tree… crew?” Jasper rolled the name around on his tongue.

“Yeah, ask her why. I don’t know but it’s pretty cool,” she admitted.

“I’m sure you guys will do great,” Monty reassured her.

Clarke stayed out of the conversation, pretending to be more interested in her cookie that she was breaking into bite size pieces. It’s not like she was jealous, Lexa wasn’t just _her_ friend, she was Octavia’s first since they were both on the soccer team, and Lexa was in Raven’s music class, but something about Clarke just wanted to have Lexa as her friend outside of the group. She felt like she saw Lexa differently to the rest of them.

“Hey, Clarke,” Monroe said to her, pulling the blonde out of her thoughts.

“Oh. Hey, Monroe,” Clarke waved. “Wanna sit?” 

“Nah, that’s okay. Harper and Maya will be coming in a minute, they’re just putting their trays back. We thought we’d quickly introduce Maya to some more people. She still doesn’t really know anyone,” Monroe explained as the two girls walked over. 

“Guys, this is Maya,” Clarke got the group’s attention.

“Hey, Maya,” everyone except Jasper said, who just stared at the girl. 

“You’re in my gym class, right?” Octavia asked her.

“Uh, yeah,” Maya nodded. “You’re Octavia?” She asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. And this is my brother Bellamy,” she pointed to her brother and then went around the table. “And this is Raven, Monty, Jasper and Clarke.”

“Oh yeah, you were in drama,” Maya recognised Clarke who nodded. “Your performance was really good.”

“Thanks,” Clarke smiled, knowing she’d like the shy girl.

“So what brings you to Polis, Maya?” Monty asked.

“My dad got a job here,” she simply explained.

“Where’d you come from?” Raven asked.

“The Mount Weather District…” Maya said a little embarrassed.

“Wait, hold up. Did you go to MW  _Academy_?” Bellamy asked a little shocked.

“Yeah,” Maya admitted.

“That’s surprising, considering everyone who goes to MW is a total douche,” Bellamy exhaled.

“Bellamy!” Octavia immediately rushed to stick up for the new girl.

“He’s got a point…” Maya chuckled shyly.

 

“I’m telling you, she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen!” Jasper exclaimed in homeroom at the end of the day.

“You didn’t say one word to her,” Octavia said.

“She was so pretty that I couldn’t!”

“Just ask for her number, what’s the big deal?” Raven rolled her eyes and puffed.

“Her face! Her face is the big deal!” He announced as he pranced around their desks.

“You’re gonna scare her off before she actually gets a chance to talk to you,” Clarke laughed.

“You have to help me,” Jasper got on his knees in front of the three girls. 

“Why would we help you?” Raven asked and Octavia titled her head in agreement with Raven.

“Because you’re girls!”

“Well spotted,” Clarke’s eyebrows raised, a smirk forming on her face. She could get used to this.

“You know how girls think!” 

“That’s not completely true, Jasper…” Clarke said.

“Yeah, we each individually know how we think, and we all happen to identify as female,” Octavia explained.

“But still, please,” Jasper begged. 

“Okay, fine, we’ll help if it gets you to go away,” Raven reluctantly agreed.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he got up and gave them each a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Ew, gross!” Raven almost shouted. “Save it for Maya.”

“That’s the first lesson. You can’t just kiss people without their permission,” Clarke explained as she wiped his slobber off her cheek.

“Yeah, that doesn’t just go for girls, that goes for anyone,” Octavia’s eyes narrowed at him.

Bellamy and Monty noticed this from where they were watching the scene and stifled a snicker.

“Mr Jordan, is there a reason why you’re prancing rather than sitting in your seat?” Kane asked as he walked through the door.

“I wasn’t prancing,” Jasper said as he sat down next to Monty. 

“That was definitely prancing,” Raven agreed with Kane.

“Ah, Miss Reyes. I saw you have taken the initiative to sign yourself up for some extra curricular activities,” Kane said to Raven as he sat at his desk. 

“Music, yeah. But for the record, I do extra curricular activities,” Raven told him.

“Yes, I remember the science fair last year, and the year before that, and the year before that,” Kane nodded and recalled Raven’s volcanoes blowing up every year.

“I’m not going to make some lousy volcano this year, Mr Kane. I’m gonna do something big,” Raven said determinedly.

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” a hint of teasing flashed towards Kane’s face as he looked at Raven, who looked confident as always. “And I will be looking forward to watching you and Lexa perform in December.”

Raven nodded and suppressed a smile. As much as her and the vice principal’s relationship student-teacher was based around teasing and joking, Raven respected him and knew he respected and supported her.

 

It was 8pm on Saturday night, and Clarke and Raven were at the Blake’s house spending time with Octavia.

“Hey Clarke, how’s your biology presentation coming along?” Octavia asked the blonde.

Octavia and Raven were watching the last ten minutes of some chick flick whilst Clarke sat on the other side of Octavia's bedroom practicing drawing wings on her eyeliner.

“It’s okay. Lexa’s made me research about the body’s defense mechanisms, which I still don’t understand…” Clarke thought as she dabbed at her eyelid with a q-tip.

Octavia nodded as she listened to Clarke talk.

“We arranged that I’d do that whilst she researched pathogens and then we’ll meet tomorrow and go through everything,” Clarke explained as she widened her eyes in sudden realization, making her poke herself in the eye with the eyeliner. “Shit, I was meant to message her on Facebook today and tell her when I’m free tomorrow,” she said as she dabbed at her eye that was now watering.

“So do it now,” Raven shrugged from where she lay on her front across Octavia’s bed, her face almost mushed up against the TV at the end of the bed.

“Do you mind if I use your laptop, O? It’s easier to check my messages on there than my phone,” Clarke asked the dark haired girl and looked at the laptop that was on standby on Octavia’s desk. 

“Sure,” Octavia said and refocused her attention on the movie.

Clarke moved herself from the floor to the chair next to the desk and brought up Facebook, logging Octavia out and herself in. Unsurprisingly, she had a message from Lexa, sent a couple of hours ago.

**Lexa Woods:**

Hi Clarke. What time works best for you tomorrow? Assuming we’re still on.

Clarke cringed and tried to get the wave of guilt that washed over her out of her system.

**Clarke Griffin:**

shit lexa sorry! i’ve been at octavia’s for most of today, i forgot to message you!! what about the afternoon? 1pm? i’ll be out of your hair by dinner time

Almost instantly she got a response from Lexa.

**Lexa Woods:**

Don’t worry about it. 1pm works for me.

Clarke scrunched her face up in confusion. She still couldn’t tell if Lexa was mad or if it was just the way she typed. Apparently she let out a huff of frustration, which caused Octavia and Raven to look at her.

“What’s up, princess?” Raven asked.

“I can’t tell if Lexa’s mad at me,” Clarke leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms.

Raven and Octavia got up from Octavia’s bed and walked over to Clarke, reading the short text exchange over the blonde’s shoulder.

“That’s how people talk when they’re mad, right? She must be mad at me,” Clarke said.

“Maybe it’s just how she types,” Raven told her.

“Yeah some people just talk with proper grammar still,” Octavia reassured her. “Look,” she said and went to get her phone off of her bed.

She got up her Facebook messages of the soccer team’s group chat from a couple of days ago and let Clarke read it.

**Lexa Woods:**

Nice work in practice today, team. We’ll be ready to defeat Azgeda in the match next month if we keep this up.

**Niylah Johnson:**

Awesome :D

**Lincoln Finch:**

Wouldn’t be ready if it wasn’t for you captain!

**Anya Stone:**

Captain? You mean

The rest of Anya’s message was cut off and Clarke didn’t scroll down to see what the end of the sentence was, understanding the dark haired girl’s point through what she had seen.

Meaning she didn’t see Anya correct Lincoln with the title ‘Commander’ instead of captain.

“Okay, so she does just type like that,” Clarke said as she looked at Lexa’s message to the group chat again. “Hold on a second… Azgeda?”

“Oh, yeah,” Octavia gulped and took her phone back from Clarke. “I wanted to tell everyone when we were all together but I never got round to it. The game next month is against Azgeda High.”

“Where the hell is Azgeda?” Raven asked perplexed.

“They’re like across state or something. Apparently Polis has only played them a couple of times but the team _hates_ them,” Octavia explained.

“How did we not know this?” Clarke turned to Raven.

“Beats me,” Raven shrugged in reply. “The only reason why I now have an interest in the soccer team is because our little superstar is in it,” Raven patronised Octavia and rubbed the top of her head, messing up her hair.

Clarke grinned at the exchange and shook her head already knowing the grumble that would come out of Octavia’s mouth thanks to Raven. She turned back to the computer and typed out her reply to Lexa. 

**Clarke Griffin:**

cool. where do you live? i can drive there

**Lexa Woods:**

42 Park Avenue. I’ll see you tomorrow, just knock at the door and Aden or I will let you in. 

**Clarke Griffin:**

cool. see you then :)

“Park Avenue?” Octavia took a double take at the screen.

“No way, girl’s gotta be rich,” Raven said. 

“It’s just where she lives guys…” Clarke defended Lexa.

“Yeah, but that’s like the nicest neighbourhood in town,” Raven replied.

“Whatever. C’mon Ray, we should get going, it’ll get dark soon and my mom will freak out,” Clarke logged out of her Facebook account and stood up. “I’ll drive you home.”

“Okay,” Raven sighed, doing her best not to argue about why they should stay and watch another move. Instead she moved to the door of Octavia’s bedroom, with Octavia following behind her. “See you Monday, O.”

“Bye guys,” Octavia said as she watched Clarke and Raven make their way down the stairs and through the front door.

“Bye!” The two girls smiled at Lexa before opening the door.

“Bye, Bellamy. We’re going!” Clarke shouted to the boy who was in the living room.

“See you Monday!” Bellamy shouted back, not bothering to get up from his seat.

Raven opened the door and the two made their way to Clarke’s car.

 

“You’re home late,” Abby Griffin called to Clarke when she heard the front door click shut.

“Sorry, I got caught up at Octavia’s,” Clarke said, wandering to the living room to find her mother curled up in an armchair reading.

“That’s okay, but next time try to text me to let you know when or if you’ll be coming home. You’re almost 18, I don’t want to have to worry about your whereabouts, Clarke,” Abby looked up from her book at her daughter who was standing in the doorway.

“It’s only 8:30 mom,” Clarke said, trying not to talk back to her mother or cause an argument, but to just simply try to tell her that she can handle herself.

“I know, but I just like to know what you’re doing,” Abby said, clearly not wanting an argument either.

“Okay. Well I’m going out again tomorrow around 1pm.”

Abby nodded. “Where?”

“Lexa Woods’ house – she’s my partner in bio. We have to make a presentation for Pike,” Clarke explained her school work to her mother. “I should be back before dinner.”

“And you’ll text me if you’re not?”

“Yes, mom,” Clarke nodded and walked upstairs to her room.

She opened her drawers to get a fresh set of pyjamas out and brought them into the bathroom where she locked the door and turned on the shower. Whilst the water was warming up, she brushed her teeth, making sure to be thorough.

When she was satisfied with herself, she hopped into the warm shower, letting the water wash away the stress that the past few weeks of school had already given her.

Her mind wandered to the thought of school and college, more specifically the biology presentation with Lexa tomorrow before deciding that she wasn’t going to use the shower to think about her anxieties.

She poured a generous amount of shampoo into her hands before lathering it up into her hair and rinsing as she hummed the tune of _Ain’t No Mountain High Enough_ , and done the same with the conditioner.

By the time her hair was clean, she was thinking about her Tumblr account and how she hadn’t been online in a few days because she was already busy with school. She made a mental note to check it when she got out the shower, but for now she was enjoying remembering the Commander’s messages to her and how the girl on the other end of the messages was helping her.

It wasn’t long before Clarke’s mind back tracked to the summer and her _Orange is the New Black_ marathon – her recollection of Alex Vause alone made a coil deep inside of her tighten. 

She picked the shower head up from where it was kept inside it’s holder on the wall and proceeded to drag it around her body, making sure she covered every place before she took her loofah off the rack and poured some of her best smelling shower gel onto it, lathering it on to her chest. She tried to concentrate on the task at hand but found it increasingly more difficult the further down her body she got as an ache between her thighs begged for attention.

“Screw it,” Clarke said to herself as she put her loofah back down for the time being and let her hand slide down her body.

It wasn’t the most satisfying of times considering her thoughts about school that constantly plagued her no matter how hard she tried to relax, so Clarke tried to be quick about getting rid of the pulsing underneath her fingertips.

Her mind, once again, drifted to her _Orange is the New Black_ marathon and eventually the lesbian porn that the Commander had told her to watch during the summer. It didn’t take much for Clarke to be gasping for air and muffling a cry of pleasure as she tried not to crumble into the wall of the shower.

 

Clarke’s hair was damp and her fresh pyjamas were on as she sat on her bed propped up by her pillows with her laptop on her knees. She was scrolling through Tumblr, realising she hadn’t missed much except a new meme consisting a frog on a unicycle. She decided Raven was her best bet to ask about this – even though Clarke was only 17, she didn’t understand a lot of what her generation found funny, so she sent Raven a text.

**Clarke Griffin:**

what the fuck is dat boi ???? 

She scrolled for a little while longer and was beginning to lose interest when she her phone vibrated next to her.

**Raven Reyes:**

o shit waddup !

Clarke smirked and rolled her eyes. So maybe Raven wasn’t her go to girl with everything related to their generation.

**Clarke Griffin:**

~youths~

After deciding that she’d had enough of her Tumblr dashboard, she decided to check the Commander’s blog. Surprisingly, she found that the girl’s blog hadn’t had much activity on it recently so she decided to send her a quick message.

**anonymous asked:**

hey, how have you been doing? :) –c

She checked the time on her laptop that told her that it was 9 minutes past 10 and that she should probably be getting to sleep so that she wasn’t excessively tired at Lexa’s the next day.

She set her laptop down on the floor beside her bed and shuffled herself under the covers, relaxing her body and closing her eyes. Soon enough her breathing evened out and Clarke was peacefully asleep.

 

It was 20 minutes past 1 and Clarke was hyperaware that she was late. She parked her car by the front of Lexa’s house and walked up to the brunette’s front door, wiping her sweaty hands on her thighs as she went.

She knocked on the door and didn’t have to wait long until she heard someone running rather loudly down the stairs who then proceeded to open the door. When the door opened, it revealed Lexa on the other day with an apologetic look in her eyes. 

“Hi, sorry but it’s not just going to be Aden with us. I hope that’s okay and won’t interrupt our studying,” Lexa said to Clarke as she stood in the doorway.

“That’s no problem. Who else is here?” Clarke asked.

“Charlotte and Aden’s friends Zoran and Tris,” Lexa told her. 

“Okay,” Clarke nodded. “Do you mind if I come in?”

“Oh yeah! Sorry,” Lexa squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head quickly as she moved out the way of Clarke, letting the girl in.

Clarke just chuckled. “Sorry I’m like twenty minutes late. I lost track of time.”

“That’s okay,” Lexa said honestly. “You can take your shoes off here and we can go to my room or the living room if you prefer.”

“Where’s the better place to work?” Clarke asked as she toed her shoes off and put them on the shoe rack by the door.

“I usually work in my room but Aden and his friends are upstairs too.”

“Your room it is then,” Clarke let Lexa show her the way up the stairs to her room. 

They stopped off at Aden’s room so that Lexa could knock on his door.

“Yeah?” She heard Aden call from inside the room.

“I’m going to be doing some studying with Clarke for the afternoon, do you mind not being too loud?” Lexa asked as reasonably as she could.

“Sure,” Aden nodded.

“Thanks,” she said and closed his door.

“How’s Aden and Charlotte doing?” Clarke asked Lexa as she opened a door opposite Aden’s and walked into in.

Clarke followed, identifying the bedroom as Lexa’s. She was momentarily taken aback by how big it was and how neat it was. 

“They’re okay,” Lexa replied, making Clarke jolt out of her own thoughts. “I think they’re actually dating now, but Aden hasn’t explicitly told me.” 

“Well they make a cute couple,” Clarke said. 

Lexa sat down on a chair by her desk and turned to Clarke. “You can sit here,” she motioned towards a dining room chair that Lexa had obviously taken from her dining room in preparation. 

“So have you got your notes?” Lexa asked Clarke as she booted up her computer.

“Yeah,” Clarke said as she reached into her backpack that she had taken off when she sat down and put beside her. She pulled out her laptop and turned it on.

The sat in silence as they waited for their computers to load their notes, neither girl knew what to say to each other.

“Okay, mine’s loaded,” Lexa said when she got her research up on her computer. 

“I’m ready, talk me through what you’ve got,” Clarke said as she rested her chin in her palm and focused her attention on Lexa’s screen.

“Okay so you know that pathogens are the organisms that cause disease, right?”

“Yep,” Clarke gave a confident nod. “They’re the bad guys.”

“Right,” Lexa suppressed a chuckle. “Pathogens include microorganisms such as bacteria, viruses, fungi and protozoa. So bacteria can cause things like salmonella and they’re tiny, like the biggest bacteria is a millionth of a meter. But viruses are even smaller than that and they also have a little bit of genetic material in them as well as protective protein coat – they cause sicknesses such as influenza.

Then you’ve got fungi with the bigger ones being moulds and mushrooms, but the microscopic ones can cause rashes such as athlete’s foot. And finally protozoa are single celled organisms and can contaminate food, which then makes people experience diarrhoea. Some of them are parasites though that can live in or on another organism; an example of this is malaria. Protozoa in the blood cause malaria.

You got all that?” She finally turned to Clarke whose face was screwed up in concentration.

“I think so…” Clarke said.

“You’ll get it eventually. It’s easy enough once you get your head round it, plus that was kind of a lot of information to take in,” Lexa said and then suddenly remembered some information. “It’s important to note that there are some diseases that aren’t caused by pathogens, such as cancer and diabetes which are disorders of the body and anaemia which is an iron deficiency.” 

“Right,” Clarke nodded her head. “You’re going to have to send me all this information too so that I can revise it.”

“Not a problem. What have you got?” Lexa asked. 

“I’ve got four different natural defences besides the immune system. The first one is skin that acts as protection from microbe infection, dehydration and general physical damage. Because the outer layers are dry and dead cells it’s difficult for the microbes to get through it so it essentially is a barrier, but it also has sebaceous glands – did I say that right?” She turned to Lexa who was listening intently. 

Lexa noticed Clarke’s confidence flutter and nodded her head, urging the girl to continue.

“Okay,” Clarke began again. “The skin has sebaceous glands that produce oils and kill microbes. Then there’s blood clotting, which happens if there’s something like a cut in the skin. The body reacts by sending red blood cells to the wound which contain tiny structures called platelets which cover the wound, and platelets are stuck together by threads of protein called fibrin. This is basically what we would recognise as a scab.

Then there are mucous membranes that protect the respiratory system through little things such as nose hairs, which keep out dust and large microorganisms. Sticky mucus then traps the dust and microbes that are then carried away by cilia, the tiny hairs on the cells that line the respiratory system. 

Finally stomach acid is the last defense mechanism and is pretty simple. Hydrochloric acid in the stomach kills all the harmful microorganisms in food or drink that we swallow.” 

“Good,” Lexa nodded as she let Clarke finish talking completely. “So now we’ve got the basics down, we should move on to the immune system. Are you understanding everything so far?” 

“Yep,” Clarke nodded. “Do you mind if I grab a drink of water first though?”

“Oh I totally forgot! I should have offered you some when you took your shoes off. I’ll go and get us some drinks and snacks,” Lexa got off of her chair and walked downstairs. 

As she done that, Clarke looked around Lexa’s bedroom. Lexa’s double bed was up against the wall furthest away from the desk, with shelves showcasing her soccer trophies above the head of the bed. Clarke noticed an acoustic guitar hanging up on the wall above Lexa’s small bookshelf. Rest against the bookshelf she saw a dusty ukulele that must not have been played in a while.

Next to the desk there was a generously sized window where Clarke could see her car out front, and to the right of the window above the desk was a noticeboard. Clarke immediately noticed a picture of Lexa from what must have been a few years ago, looking considerably smaller than she did now in her soccer uniform out on the field. She couldn’t help but think to herself about how cute Lexa looked in the uniform that was clearly a couple sizes too big for her.

“Hey, I’m back,” Lexa kicked the door that was left ajar open with her foot. “I got water and I hope a couple bars of Hershey’s is okay. I can get something healthier if you like…”

“Hershey’s is great. Thanks, Lexa,” Clarke smiled as she took one of the glasses of water from Lexa’s hand, gulping down half of it. “I didn’t know you played the ukulele.”

“Oh I don’t really. It’s just something I have…” 

“Can I have a try? I know a couple of songs,” Clarke asked with a mouthful of Hershey’s chocolate. 

“Sure.”

Clarke gave Lexa a toothy smile before walking over to the bookshelf and picking up the ukulele. She sat down on the floor, blew the dust off of it and gave it a strum, making her grimace and tuned the instrument by ear. 

Lexa’s back was turned to Clarke as she focused on her computer, rereading her notes to give her something to do. All of a sudden, a familiar tune made her ears perk up as she heard Clarke pluck the first notes of _I’m Yours_ by Jason Mraz.

She swivelled her seat around to face Clarke, ready to flash the girl a smirk and an eye roll. _Please_ , she thought, _this is the most generic ukulele song ever._

When Clarke began to sing, her thoughts backtracked. Her mouth fell open slightly as she watched the blonde’s eyes close, her face showing the evidence that she had drifted into another world, obviously forgetting her location. Her voice was imperfect and scratchy at times. Clarke didn’t seem to care, and neither did Lexa. 

The way Clarke sung the song with such meaning made Lexa jealous of whoever or whatever Clarke was thinking about.

When the song was finished, Lexa tried to manage her laboured breath. Clarke audibly gulped and opened her eyes slowly, refocusing them on Lexa.

“Not bad, Griffin,” Lexa nodded, trying not to make her admiration for Clarke obvious.

“Good enough to join Trikru?” Clarke teased as she carefully put the ukulele back and went to join Lexa at the desk.

“You wish,” Lexa joked. “So, the immune system?” She asked quickly, wanting to get back to studying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for patiently waiting for me to update! i've worked all week on this chapter so i hope you enjoy it. i'm going to try to work on weekly updates from now on since i've basically finished school


	8. Guns For Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa work some more on their biology project and Raven chooses a song for her and Lexa to perform in December.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been 2 weeks since my last update, i'm awful i know. this is just a quick filler chapter to help get the plot rolling some more!

**Raven Reyes:**

Meet me in a practice room after school

Lexa didn’t like being told what to do, especially from someone like Raven Reyes. But they were in a band now and she had to learn how to handle herself around particular… outgoing people such as the girl in question.

She typed out her reply to Raven on her Facebook messenger app and stepped out of her house, deciding to walk to school in the surprisingly warm weather that late September in Polis had to offer.

**Lexa Woods:**

Sure.

 

Homeroom was surprisingly quiet and Lexa only heard the murmurs of Sterling and Myles sitting in front of her as she was on her cell phone, being fairly certain that Kane wouldn’t see her.

She checked her Tumblr, finding that she had the usual messages from questioning girls, but as she scrolled down through her ask box some more, she found a message from C.

**anonymous asked:**

hey, how have you been doing? :) –c

Finding it endearing that the stranger had been kind enough to check up on her, presumably because of the lack of activity on her blog, she replied.

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I’ve actually been doing really well, thank you for asking :) I’ve been very busy with school though. How are you?

Lexa smiled inwardly to herself. For once in her life, she was telling the truth – she was happy. Sure, things at home could be better, but she had Aden and the soccer team and some new things to try in her senior year of high school so life wasn’t all that bad.

She was prepared for the stress that her senior year would give her and was certain that with regular exercise and surrounding herself with good people she’d keep her anxiety levels to a minimum.

Lexa couldn’t deny that high school did suck. The people who told her that high school was meant to be the best time of your life were flat out liars, she deduced. But at that moment in time, she was happy with where she was and what she was doing.

All of a sudden an obnoxious bell rang, which she identified as the first warning to be going to class. People around started moving out of their seats, so she followed.

“Ready to go?” A perky voice close by all of a sudden asked her.

She looked around and spotted the source of the voice. Well – spotted the bright blue eyes crinkled by a smile before she properly acknowledged Clarke’s presence.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked, her eyes changing from bubbliness to confusion.

She quickly glanced to Octavia beside her, whom Lexa hadn’t realised was there.

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry,” Lexa nodded and continued to put on her backpack.

“We’ve got bio first, remember?” Clarke asked, still not convinced that Lexa’s mind was 100% there.

“Yeah, I remember,” she nodded, walking out from behind her desk quickly whilst keeping her head down, not noticing her close proximity to Octavia and almost bumping into her.

Her head snapped up quickly and her eyes widened as she realised she wasn’t just with Clarke.

“Oh… hi, Octavia. Sorry,” she apologised, not fully looking the girl in the eye.

“No problem,” Octavia hid a smile. “Should we go?” She pointed towards the door in reference to biology.

“Yeah,” Lexa said and made her way out of homeroom.

“Do you think it would be worth asking Pike if we can work in the library? Then we can finish up with research notes and move on to creating the presentation,” Clarke asked Lexa. She wanted to take more initiative with the project.

“Yeah that’s a good plan,” Lexa nodded as they made their way to biology.

  


Pike had agreed to let Clarke and Lexa work in the library on the grounds that he would see the amount of work that they had completed at the end of the class.

“Can we read through the notes we made yesterday? It helps me to recall what I’ve done before moving on,” Clarke explained as they sat a computer at the back of the library. 

“Sure, go ahead,” Lexa spoke in a hushed tone, trying to avoid breaking the atmosphere.

Clarke brought her email up and downloaded the document of notes that she had sent herself the day before, knowing she’d need to be prepared without her laptop.

“Did you wanna read it or should I?” Clarke turned to Lexa.

“No, you can,” Lexa motioned, letting Clarke take the lead.

“Okay, well I remember everything about the body’s defense mechanisms that I researched and I think I remember the different kinds of pathogens,” Clarke listed off each pathogen with her fingers. “Bacteria, viruses, fungi and…” she squinted, trying to recall the last one. “And… protorzoar?” 

Lexa ducked her head and chuckled at Clarke trying to pronounce the word. “Protozoa.”

“Right, that,” Clarke nodded her head and turned her attention back to her notes. “So yesterday we worked on the immune system and what that does to actually destroy the pathogens once they’re in us, because once they’re in us they reproduce – viruses reproduce inside the cells and damage them, but also escape to infect more cells, whereas bacteria release toxins and they both cause symptoms of infectious diseases. 

Pathogens have chemicals that the body doesn’t recognise called antigens. Lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell, carry proteins that have a chemical that basically fit a particular antigen – these are known as antibodies. When a lymphocyte has an antibody that fits an antigen, it reproduces quickly to capture the antigen and neutralizes it.

That’s it? That was easy!” Clarke exclaimed as she got to the end of her notes.

“Good,” Lexa smiled, happy that Clarke was able to understand.

“I don’t know why I didn’t get it before, this all makes sense so far. Maybe it’s the way you explain things,” Clarke said to Lexa.

“Clarke, you done the majority of this yourself. You worked this out by yourself,” Lexa told the blonde.

“Yeah but whenever I’ve tried to do it before I just can’t retain it. It must be something about your vibe.”

“My vibe?” Lexa raised her eyebrows. 

“Yeah, you give off like a very concentrate-y vibe,” Clarke nodded.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t want to get your ass thrown into detention by Pike?” Lexa didn’t think it was possible for her eyebrows to get any higher, but she was mistaken.

“Okay, you’re right there,” Clarke thought.

“You’ve got to remember too that once you’ve been infected by a particular pathogen and had antibodies produced against it, the white blood cells remember reproduce very quickly so that the pathogens gets destroyed ASAP, and that’s called active immunity,” Lexa explained.

“Okay, I need to write this down,” Clarke said and turned to type everything that Lexa said into the word document.

Once she was done, Lexa continued. “And passive immunity is when you get treated for an infection through injecting particular antibodies from someone else.”

“Got it,” Clarke smiled.

“Okay, well now I think we should move on to antibiotics and vaccinations,” Lexa said and began to google different topics to help Clarke learn the information instead of just spoon-feeding her.

  


45 minutes and 2 more pages of notes later, Pike found Clarke and Lexa huddled around a computer at the back of the library.

“You girls ready to pack up? It’s the end of class,” Pike leant on the backs of their chairs.

“Sure, Mr Pike. Let me just email this document to Lexa and I so we don’t lose it,” Clarke replied as she hit the save button.

“Do you mind if I just have a quick look at the work you’ve done this period?” Pike leant in more to get a better look at the screen.

“Sure, we’re just gathering all our notes at the minute so that we can put them into a presentation,” Clarke let go of the mouse so that Pike could scroll through the work that they’d completed.

“Wow, you’ve got loads already. Maybe 3 weeks is too long!” He chuckled.

“Well once we’ve got the presentation which should be completed by the end of this week, we were going to make a visual demonstration of the immune system,” Lexa explained.

“Ah, very creative! Well you’re in luck, Lexa. I hear that Clarke is quite the artist,” Pike looked at Clarke who was ducking her head in an attempt to get the topic off her.

“I’m sure,” Lexa played along, sensing Clarke’s uneasiness with the attention and compliments.

Pike smiled at the both of them and politely headed out of the library to get ready for his next class.

“We’ve got bio again on Thursday so we shouldn’t have to meet up again after school or anything, right?” Lexa asked Clarke.

“Right,” Clarke tried her best to hide the disappointment that flowed through her voice.

  


“Hey, O,” Monty greeted the sweaty girl who had just sat down at their lunch table.

“Hey. Sorry if I smell, guys, I just had gym,” Octavia winced as she smelt an armpit.

“You couldn’t have showered first?” Raven joked from across the table.

“Ha, ha. C’mon, Ray, you know they don’t give us enough time to shower,” Octavia said with puppy-dog eyes.

“I’m kidding, Blake. No one cares if you smell a little bit, the majority of kids in this school stink of BO, you’re cool,” Raven reassured the girl as she sipped a carton of milk.

“I don’t wanna add to the majority…” Octavia pouted.

“How’s soccer practice going, O?” Monty quickly changed the subject to not let Octavia’s mind dwell too much.

“Oh, uh, it’s actually going pretty well. Everyone on the team is so nice, except for that Indra girl, I don’t get what her deal is,” Octavia dived in to the discussion of soccer.

“Well maybe Indra’s not nice, but Lincoln’s super nice to make up for it,” Jasper sang.

“All right, that’s enough, Jasper,” Bellamy suddenly cut in from where he’d been sitting quietly in the corner.

“Whatever,” Octavia shook her brother off. “I can tell you all that our first match next month is against Azgeda High.”

“Where the hell is Azgeda?” Jasper asked with his expression perplexed.

“It’s a small town across state. We’ve never beaten them, so we’re determined to next month,” Octavia explained.

“They must be pretty good then,” Monty thought.

“Yeah,” Octavia nodded. “I’ve never seen them play us, but I’ve heard all about them. They’re pretty brutal. Lincoln told me that their captain, Roan, doesn’t even wear a cup and that last year, Lexa kicked him so hard just above the crotch with her studs that he would have _had_ to be down on the ground crying for his mommy, but he just carried on playing as if nothing had happened.”

“Damn,” Jasper slammed his palms down on the table in disbelief.

“Lexa’s got every newbie on the team learning their secret language, Trigedasleng or something, so that we can talk to each other on the field but so Azgeda won’t know what we’re saying. _That’s_ how serious she is about this,” Octavia explained.

“Okay, okay. Teach me some of this Trigedasleng then,” Raven gave Octavia a come hither motion and a determined face which make Clarke, who had been sitting quietly listening to the conversation with Bellamy, chuckle.

“Um, well we call Lexa _heda._ It means head, like captain. She’s the head of the team,” Octavia said as the others listened intently. “Oh! She’s even come up with this little catchphrase to get us motivated to finally destroy Azgeda. _Jus drein jus daun._ It means blood must have blood.”

“Lexa is brutal!” Raven sat back in her chair and admired Lexa’s words.

“Are we hosting?” Jasper asked quickly to which Octavia gave a short nod of her head. “You can expect us all to be there,” he gave a lopsided smile.

  


Raven turned the corner into the music corridor when nearby music suddenly made her abruptly stop.

She checked her watch – _3:13_. She was on time as far as she was aware.

She creeped closer and closer towards the door where the music was coming from, and heard a soft female voice being accompanied by the plucking of a guitar.

She glanced through the window and saw Lexa Woods sitting on top of a table against a window, her eyes closed as she completely relaxed into the music.

_But there’s hope out the window_

_And that’s where we’ll go_

_Let’s go outside and all join hands_

_But until then you’ll never understand_

Raven watched the way Lexa’s face scrunched up as her voice became slightly more powerful with emotion. _This is it,_ she thought, _this is the song._

She waited until Lexa was finished before she shook the soccer captain from her peaceful state. She swung the door open with force, making it bang against the wall.

Lexa’s eyes shot open and sought out the disturbance – Raven with a grin on her face. 

“We have _got_ to cover that song!” She practically shouted.

“I don’t know, Raven. I was just playing until you got here – I wrote down a list of songs I thought we’d be good at,” Lexa pointed to her notebook beside her.

“No need! That was Twenty One Pilots, right?” Raven asked as she sat on the piano stool opposite Lexa.

“Yeah. _Guns For Hands_.”

“We’ve gotta do that one. I don’t know what that song means to you, but that was powerful and, honestly, pretty raw with emotion,” Raven gushed.

“I don’t know…” Lexa fidgeted, not able to look Raven in the eye.

“C’mon, Woods,” Raven jumped up and gave Lexa a reassuring pat on the back. “Give yourself some more credit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything I got about the immune system in the last two chapters is from BBC bitesize (http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/science/ocr_gateway_pre_2011/ourselves/2_keeping_healthy1.shtml) - i haven't studied biology in two years so sorry if any info is wrong!


	9. Lexa Woods, Nervous Wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa present their presentations and Lexa auditions for the school play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a reasonably long clexa tumblr interaction in this chapter since you all asked for it. hope it lives up to expectations :)

**2 and a half weeks later**

Clarke and Lexa sat at the front in biology with some netting and a trash bag full of blown up balloons in front of them. Lexa, once again, sat nervously awaiting their turn to present instead of listening to Murphy and Emori’s boring presentation on photosynthesis.

All of a sudden, she heard clapping invade her eardrums and realised that their presentation was over. She looked to Clarke beside her who gave her a reassuring smile.

“Clarke and Lexa, would you like to show us your presentation next?” Pike told them more than asking them.

“Sure, Mr Pike,” Clarke confidently walked up to the front of the classroom with the trash bag and netting and Lexa sheepishly followed behind.

“What’s in the bag, princess?” Clarke heard Finn’s voice call from the back of the classroom.

“Shut up, Collins,” Clarke sneered at him, making the entire class chuckle at Finn.

“Yes, Finn I believe that Clarke sat through your presentation with no fuss so I expect you to do the same,” Pike said.

“Thank you, Mr Pike. Lexa and I have spent the past 3 weeks making our presentation on the immune system,” Clarke said as Lexa got the presentation up on the screen for the class to see. 

They ran through all the information rather smoothly but Lexa didn't feel her confidence increase as each slide went on. The class sat quietly as they explained each new bit of information, but no one really seemed to care, which both Lexa and Clarke found unsurprising – everyone hated presentations and most people just didn’t bother to actively look like they were interested in anything that their classmates had to teach them.

Until Clarke put the trash bag on the table.

“Are you going to tell us what’s in there now, Clarke?” Finn asked, almost spitting her name.

“Yes, Finn, I am,” Clarke sighed, already bored with him.

“Okay, so I’m going to need about five volunteers, but before I begin, is anyone afraid of balloons or balloons popping?” Clarke asked.

When everyone shook their heads, she continued.

“Okay, so who wants to volunteer then?” She looked around the room at the hands shooting up in the air. “Cool, a lot of people. O and Monroe, obviously,” she pointed to them and winked at their smiles as they hurried to the front of the classroom besides Clarke.

“That’s not fair!” Finn whined.

“Finn, you might as well just put your hand down because I’m not going to pick you. Let the blood flow back into it, God knows you’ll need it tonight after Raven rejects you again,” Clarke smirked as the entire room burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“MISS GRIFFIN,” Pike bellowed, shocking the class into silence. “I suggest you get on with your demonstration.”

“Yep, okay. Who else wanted to volunteer? Ummm…” she scanned the room. “Fox, Connor aaaaand… Jones.” 

The three students walked to the front and stood beside Octavia and Monroe as Clarke spoke again.

“You all need to line up in front of Mr Pike’s desk with your arms in a Y shape,” Clarke said. 

“Like in the YMCA dance,” Octavia commented.

“Exactly, O. Now you guys are acting as the antibodies, and the antigens are the balloons in the trash bag that Lexa’s about to pour over you,” Clarke explained as the five students got into position and Lexa climbed on to a chair ready to pour the balloons over them. “When Lexa lets go of the balloons, you have to grab on to as many as you can, you all got that?”

When a murmur of yeses came from the row of students, Clarke instructed Lexa to untie the tag keeping the balloons in the trash bag, and twenty or so red and blue balloons came gracefully falling down into the arms of the volunteers.

After a minute, all the balloons were either on the floor, or stuffed under the arms or in between the legs of the volunteers. Lexa stepped down from the chair and looked to Clarke for the next bit of information. 

“Good job, guys,” Clarke addressed her five classmates. “I know I told you to grab as many balloons as you can, but the thing is, antibodies have a valence of two, which means that they can only grab on to, or combine, two antigens at a time. Since you’re all holding more than two balloons in one way or another, I’m going to have to ask you all to drop all of them except for two.”

All five volunteers visually relaxed as they dropped all the balloons they were holding except the ones in each of their hands.

“As well as the antibodies only being able to combine with two antigens, they also have to be identical. So Fox, O and Jones, who are holding two different colored antigens, you need to swap them for the same color so that they’re identical.”

The three of them each dropped a balloon and picked up ones that were the same color to the balloon they were still holding.

“Okay, so now, because O, Connor and Fox’s balloons are all blue, this means you each share an antigen, so you guys as individual antibodies can link up. Same for Monroe and Jones, whose balloons are red. So Octavia if you move next to Connor and then drop your balloon on the left, you can hold the other side of his balloon instead. You need to all do that with people with the same colored balloon as you, if that makes sense.”

“Sure,” Monroe nodded and they all linked together in their respective groups.

Clarke addressed the class. “Now that they’re all linked up, this shows us that the antigens have repeating determinants so two nearby antibodies can crosslink the group of antigens. But now the antibodies need to actually get rid of the antigens. So, Lexa?” She turned to the brunette who was patiently waiting for her second part in the demonstration.

Lexa walked over to the group with the blue balloons with her fingers tightly wrapped around a pin. She popped a couple of the balloons that boxed in by the students and turned back to Clarke, so that the blonde could explain what Lexa had just shown.

“The antibodies are able to directly poke holes in, or lyse, the antigens to eliminate them. Or…” she turned to Lexa again who quickly took the netting and threw it over a balloon from the group of red balloons. “The antibodies can engulf the antigens to destroy them.”

“You can let go of these now,” Lexa told the group who dropped the balloons and walked back to their seats.

Pike got up from his seat at the side of the class and clapped as he walked over to the two girls. “That was great, girls, a really good demonstration.”

“Thanks, Mr Pike. I had no idea what I was doing though…” Clarke admitted.

“Clarke!” Lexa sharply whispered and gave her partner a firm elbow in the side, urging her to just accept the compliment.

“I mean, thanks, sir,” Clarke said sheepishly as she took the hint and rubbed at her ribs where Lexa’s elbow had just been.

 

“So for the soccer team captain, you don’t really like taking the lead much do you?” Clarke teased.

“The key word there is soccer, Clarke,” Lexa said as she put her bag on ready to leave biology. “I’m good at directing and explaining when it comes to soccer, but not so much when it comes to literally anything else. Besides, your presentation skills were fine. You explained things much better than I ever would have.”

“How do you think I learned all those things?” Clarke looked at Lexa, sensing her insecurities and lack of confidence. “I learned them from you. Stop putting yourself down all the time,” Clarke told her honestly.

Lexa nodded and began to walk out the class with Clarke. “Standing up in the front of a class is not where I feel most comfortable.” 

“I get that it’s nerve wracking to have all those people staring at you, waiting for something to go wrong. But you’ve gotta make them think that you’re in control, fake your confidence, because then they won’t expect you to mess up. At least not as much anyway,” Clarke told the brunette.

“Is that what you do?” Lexa asked.

“What?” Clarke asked, rather confused at Lexa’s forwardness.

“Put on an act of confidence so no one suspects that you’re vulnerable?”

Clarke just stared at Lexa, not having an answer for her question. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t.

“I’m sorry that I sort of froze up with talking up there,” Lexa apologised after Clarke said nothing. 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind, Lexa, really,” Clarke said, becoming more quiet than she had previously been. She thought for a second before talking again. “How did you do in drama?”

“Drama’s sort of different because it’s acting. I get to be a whole other person and it’s okay when you make mistakes or corpse, because everyone does and people just brush it to one side and try again. With other lessons, it’s different because it’s just me.”

Clarke nodded before replying. “Maybe you should apply that to the rest of your life.”

“What do you mean?” Lexa scrunched her face up as she tried to understand.

“Well it’s okay to make mistakes in life too, not just in drama. You’re human, you’re going to make mistakes – it’s how we learn. You make the mistake and you try again,” Clarke explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Have more faith in yourself, Lexa.” She took off for her next class, leaving Lexa gaping in her wake.

 

That evening after soccer practice, Lexa found herself answering the usual questions from bicurious girls, but was disappointed to not see any from C. She wrote a post hoping it would get the mysterious girl to talk to her.

**iam-thecommander:**

I really do enjoy giving advice to my followers and knowing that I’m helping you all, but if anyone could give me some advice I’d really appreciate it right now. 

She tagged her post with ‘anyone meaning C’, hoping that the anonymous girl would read her tags and send her a message.

Lexa spent the next half an hour refreshing her messages waiting for C to show up somewhere amongst the unanswered people asking for advice, when she finally saw the –C amongst them.

 **anonymous asked:**

hey :) –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Hi :)

**anonymous asked:**

i can’t give you advice if i don’t know what the problem is, u know ;) –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Right. Well I have a crush on the girl that we spoke about a month ago. I like her. Officially.

**anonymous asked:**

that’s great!! did you talk to her at all like i said you should? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Uh, sort of. We’ve been in groups and projects together at school. I also told her to come to a school game but she probably would have come anyway, she’s pretty popular.

**anonymous asked:**

oooh, the popular ones can always seem intimidating and whatever, but i bet she’s just as awkward as you –c 

**anonymous asked:**

omg i hope that wasn’t way out of line to call you awkward –c

 **anonymous asked** :

i just meant that you seem pretty shy is all –c

**anonymous asked:**

i’ll walk myself out –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Haha, it’s fine, I am awkward about it. She doesn’t really seem awkward at all when I talk to her; in fact, she’s actually a really kind person. She’s way nicer than I ever imagined her to be in the past and she actually really helped me out a lot with my awkwardness… that intimidates me more. You’re the only person I can talk to about this because no one else either knows or will understand.

**anonymous asked:**

glad im approachable like that :) does it make you like her even more if she’s helping you out like that? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Yes, but it also makes me feel a little pathetic. She sees right through me.

**anonymous asked:**

that’s a good thing! her seeing right through you i mean, not you feeling pathetic. you don’t need to feel pathetic about it, i think that everyone deserves to have someone who sees their vulnerabilities. it can be scary but thrilling, because it helps you get closer with that person and connect with them. i say go for it with mystery girl –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Thanks, C. I feel a lot better about it all now. I’ll see how it goes with talking to her :)

 

The next day after school was a day Lexa was dreading. The play auditions. She wasn’t even sure why she was auditioning; she just wanted a change from soccer. _Wow, I’m literally living the life of Troy Bolton right now_ , she thought to herself with a chuckle.

“Okay,” Sienna stood up when everyone who wanted to audition was present. “So I think you’re all aware that you’re auditioning for Shakespeare’s _Much Ado About Nothing_. Yes, Nathan?” She was interrupted when Miller put his hand up.

“How come we’re not doing _Grease_ like you mentioned last year?” He asked.

“We had some complaints…” Sienna simply said, which left a question hanging to the students of who would complain about _Grease._ “Anyway, you’ll have an hour to pair up and rehearse a duologue with your partner before performing it. You don’t have to have memorised your lines in an hour, but if you are performing with a script, make sure we can still see your face, please.”

The room began to shuffle around and Lexa found herself having no one to partner with, making her anxiety become even worse. Suddenly, she heard a voice talk to her from behind her.

“Hey,” she turned around to see Nathan Miller. “Harper and Maya have paired up together so I have no one to pair with. Looks like you don’t either. Mind if we go together?” He asked her with a friendly smile upon his face.

“No,” Lexa shook her head as she looked at him.

“Great! Thanks, Lexa. I’ll go get us some scripts,” he walked over to Sienna and grabbed two scripts that she was handing out. As he came back, he began to talk to her again. “So I’ll be Benedict and you be Beatrice?” He suggested.

“Sure, makes sense,” Lexa nodded.

“Cool. So it looks like it’s a pretty short scene they’ve given us to audition,” Miller looked at the script, recognising it as the scene where Beatrice calls Benedict for dinner. “Do you think they’ll be able to figure out if we’re good enough by just this scene?”

“I guess so,” Lexa said. “They probably do call backs for this sort of thing too. They must do with scenes this short…” she began to wonder.

“Well I guess we shouldn’t think too much about it and get on with rehearsing,” Miller shrugged. “Should we go outside into a hallway so it’s a bit more quiet? We won’t be in anyone’s way.” 

“Sure.”

 

The hour passed relatively quickly in Miller’s company, and Lexa began to relax the more she got into the scene, she even forgot that she had to perform it in front of a room full of people until they were called back in to audition.

“Okay. Lexa Woods and Nathan Miller, whenever you’re ready,” Sienna gave her a reassuring smile.

 _I got this,_ Lexa thought as she nodded to Sienna. She walked off stage as herself and back on as in as much character as she could muster with her nerves.

“Ah, here comes Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy some marks of love in her,” Miller said his lines as he sat in a chair on the other side of the stage.

“Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner,” Lexa said with a teenager-like attitude in character.

“Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains,” Miller smiled cockily at Lexa.

Lexa put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. “I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.”

Miller got closer to her, his smirk become bigger. “You take pleasure if the message.”

Lexa scoffed and looked at him pointedly. “Yeah, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point, and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach signior? Fare you well,” she gave an unenthusiastic wave of her hand and exited the stage the same way she came on.

“Ha!” Miller turned and addressed the audience. “’Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner’: there’s a double meaning in that. ‘I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me’: that’s as much as to say, ‘Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks’. If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture,” Miller pointed towards Lexa and hurriedly made his way off the stage in the same direction that she went.

The audience applauded and Lexa smiled and grabbed her bag, not wanting to stay for the rest of the auditions. She saw Sienna quickly glance her way and nod her head in an answer to Ryder, who was besides her helping out with the auditions. 

Sienna saw Lexa making her way to leave and called out to her. “Lexa, are you leaving?”

“Uh, yeah,” she rubbed at the back of her neck. “Sorry I’ve got to go and watch over my little brother because our mom’s not in until late.” Lie. She and Sienna both knew that Aden was old enough to not need a babysitter.

Sienna’s eyebrows momentarily furrowed before nodding to Lexa. “Okay. Well we’ll let you know if you’ve got the part on Monday the 19th.”

“Wait, no callbacks?” Miller asked over the rest of the room who had fallen into their own individual conversations.

“No, no call backs. We know the scene was quite short, but we prepared it because we expected a big turnout, which we got,” Sienna explained.

“Okay, well thanks for letting me audition, Mrs Smith,” Lexa said and hurried out the door. 

Clarke was right, she shouldn’t be so worried about making a fool out of herself all the time. It wasn’t a good way to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is off this fic's topic, but i finished season 4 of oitnb the other day. how crazy was this season?! (no spoilers in the comments please for those who haven't finished it yet). i started watching wynonna earp to get rid of the gaping hole in my heart and it has not let me down yet. emily andras is a goddess <3
> 
> for the balloon demonstration in clarke and lexa's bio class, i got all that information from here - http://www.aai.org/Education/Resources/Scott_Using.html


	10. Grounders vs. Ice Nation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The casting list for the school play is announced, the Azgeda soccer team comes to Polis and something that you've all been waiting for...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a sort chapter today peeps, but i'm sure you won't mind ;)

There was a crowd of people, freshman to seniors, out by the doors to the drama hall. Some were ecstatic, bouncing up and down and hugging their friends, and others were disappointed, scoffing and trying to hold back tears that pricked their eyes.

Lexa saw Miller on the outskirts of the crowd, his height giving him an advantage so that he didn’t have to push too far through the bodies that were tightly huddled together.

“Hey, Miller,” Lexa greeted him as he walked up to him. “What’s all this about?” She gestured to the crowd.

“Oh, Sienna put up the casting list,” Miller grinned at her and turned back to look at the list.

 _Of course_ , Lexa thought. _It’s the 19 th._

She pushed past some of the bodies, her advantage being a senior who the sophomores and freshman especially were intimidated by. She scanned the casting list, seeing her name near the top of it.

_Beatrice – Lexa Woods_

She furrowed her brow, not quite believing what she was seeing and reread the list. That had to be some kind of mistake. Lexa Woods didn’t just audition for something that she hadn’t previously shown much interest in before and then get the lead role. She scanned the list again and didn’t see anyone who she was really familiar with, and noticed that Miller didn’t get cast.

Lexa made her way back over to Miller whose grin was still planted on his face.

“Congrats, Lexa!” He said.

“Thanks,” Lexa said, trying her best not to sound to worn down. “Sorry you didn’t a part though.”

“Oh it’s okay,” Miller shrugged it off. “I’ll just help out with the sound crew upstairs. They’ve let me help for productions in the past; I just thought I’d audition to be on the actual stage this time. No big deal.”

“Right,” Lexa nodded. 

“Are you alright? I thought you’d be a little more happier getting the leading lady and everything,” Miller asked, concerned that Lexa seemed quiet.

“No, no, I’m fine. I’m just a little taken aback by it is all,” Lexa reassured him as she hugged her elbows.

“Okay. Well I’m gonna go and see if I can help out with the sound for the play then. I’ll catch you later,” Miller gave her a friendly pat on the arm and darted off up the stairs.

“Hey, Lex!” Aden shouted from the others side of the hallway, making his way over to her.

“Oh. Hey, Aden,” Lexa lifted her head up slightly at her little brother.

“Are you okay?” Aden asked her cautiously.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” Lexa shook her head trying to get the discomfort out of her.

“No you’re not. Tell me what’s up,” Lexa hated that Aden was so intuitive to people’s feelings sometimes.

“I got cast as the lead in the school play,” Lexa rolled her eyes; her monotone voice was plugged down by her lack of enthusiasm.

“Why are you so bummed about that? That’s a great thing!” Aden told her.

“Yeah, but I just feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s the first time I’ve ever auditioned for anything like that I instantly get the lead.”

“It’s not a bad thing, Lex. You probably deserve it,” Aden reassured her but his eyes suddenly when wide as another thought plagued his mind. “Just make sure you figure out how you tell mom.”

“Oh crap… I totally forgot,” Lexa slapped her hand to her forehead.

She’d been avoiding telling her mom anything to do with school unless she asked, but she figured she’d have to tell her now that she got the part and would be late home regularly now because of play rehearsals now on top of soccer practices. She just didn’t know how her mother would take it since she’d given Lexa the advice to not audition in the first place, and she knew this would just end in a lecture that would no doubt have Lexa exhausted, storming out and retreating to Anya’s house for the night.

“I gotta go…” She said all of a sudden and ran into the drama hall.

“Lexa!” Aden called after her, but it was no use. She was gone.

 

“Mrs Smith! Sienna!” Lexa panted as she burst into the drama hall.

“Lexa? What’s up?” Sienna asked, taken aback by her student’s sudden presence.

“I think there’s been a mistake in casting me,” Lexa told her.

“What do you mean?”

“You gave me the part of Beatrice. I think that was a mistake – I don’t deserve it. I’ve never shown any interest in drama and the first time I audition for a play I get the lead. I’m no good at acting, I get horrible stage fright or nerves or something and I’m way too busy with classes and soccer and the music show with Raven and now this and-“

“Lexa, Lexa! Calm down. Mr Ryder and I cast you as Beatrice because you were the best. Stage fright and pre performance nerves are all normal, and honestly, whatever you do to cover them up works, because we couldn’t tell at all that you were nervous. We’ll figure out a schedule so that rehearsals don’t interfere with any other commitments, you’ll be fine.”

“But why me? Why not, I don’t know, Roma?” Lexa asked, her eyes shining wide.

“Because you deserve the part. Plus Roma was way too burly for Beatrice,” Sienna chuckled. “If you’re worried about anyone being unsupportive of the decision we’ve come to, then we can work out something to tell them.”

“How did you know?” Lexa looked at her teacher, confused as to why she even brought that up.

“It’s not the first time a student as told me they can’t do something in my department because a parent or a friend has advised them not to,” Sienna told her simply. “Now if you don’t want to do it, that’s your decision and we can always find someone else, but it would be a real shame because you’re perfect for the part.”

Lexa’s eyes darted away from Sienna as she thought about her words carefully. She mulled them over in her brain before narrowing her eyes and coming to a decision.

She looked her teacher confidently in the eye and said, “I’ll do it,” with a firm singular nod of her head.

Sienna smiled at her change of heart, already making mental notes of how to help Lexa tell her mother and how to calm her pre performance nerves.

 

The whistle blew, signalling the first half of the soccer match. Clarke sat amongst the crowd with her hotdog and coke in her hands trying to spot Octavia amongst the unidentifiable bodies that ran on the pitch. Raven, Jasper and Monty were cheering her on to her right whilst Bellamy sat on her left, anxiously watching his baby sister play.

Clarke squinted her eyes and spotted Lexa run after the ball tackling what looked like a burly male senior from Azgeda. Under what looked like war paint markings that she had painted on her face, Clarke could see the determination to finally win a match against them.

“The Grounders have gotta win this, don’t cha think, Clarke?” Raven asked her without taking her eye off Lexa who was now running with the ball to score a goal.

“You bet,” Clarke said firmly as her eyes widened, unable to stop watching as Lexa kicked the ball half way across the pitch to Octavia so that she wouldn’t get tackled.

Not even half an hour into the match and one of the girls from Azgeda’s team, who Clarke had come to learn called themselves the Ice Nation, tackled Lincoln who ended up on the floor. 

The game stopped as everyone turned to look at Lincoln who was hunched over in agony. Students from Polis High stood up in the crowds to get a better look at what had happened to him and winced as he pulled his right knee high sock down and inspected the dislodged shin-pad and a couple of stud marks in his skin. Luckily, it hadn’t gone into his bone, but there was still a fair amount of blood.

Lexa ran over immediately and helped him to his feet, almost growling at the girl who injured one of her best players. Octavia quickly followed and the girls swung his arms over their shoulders and he hobbled off. The game continued behind them as they got him to the sidelines. 

“You can’t play like this, Lincoln. You can barely walk,” Lexa told him firmly.

“I know, but who’s going to take my position? Echo might have tackled me, and she tackles rough, but she sure leaves herself open so it’s relatively easy to get round her and score or at least pass to someone who can score,” Lincoln explained to the captain.

“Says the one with the holes in his leg…” Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“I'll do it,” Octavia looked Lexa in the eye, willing to commit herself to the challenge of being tagged by Echo.

“Are you sure, Octavia? We could really use you open. As harsh as it sounds, they won’t suspect you to be very good considering you’re new to the team,” Lexa said.

“What about Otan? He can have my position. I can do this, I can handle myself,” Octavia jogged on the spot, more ready to take on Lincoln’s position than anything.

“Okay…” Lexa agreed and walked back on to the pitch. “Otan! You’re up. Take Octavia’s position,” she shouted to the quiet boy on the sidelines. He jumped up and followed the captain as if his life depended on it.

“Go get ‘em, babe,” Lincoln almost growled and pulled Octavia in for a chaste kiss.

When they pulled back, Octavia smirked at him and ran backwards out on to the pitch, taking her position near Echo who snarled at her as she realised what the discussion with the Grounders captain was about.

The game didn’t continue smoothly after that. When Lexa had the ball five minutes later, a boy a lot bigger than her sped past her and just simply stood in front of her, staring her down. Lexa stopped, keeping a foot on the ball and narrowed her eyes at him, trying to work out his next move. The entire stadium was silent until a gruff voice from behind Clarke and Bellamy shouted.

“Get her, Roan!”

Suddenly, all of the Azgeda students were shouting along with the voice, almost making it a showdown against Roan and Lexa.

“Octavia told me some things about Azgeda’s team when she was getting ready for the match. The guy in front of Lexa is Roan Armstrong and he’s the captain, but only because his mom Nia is the coach,” Raven explained to Clarke who looked a little puzzled. 

“She can’t do that!” Clarke was astonished.

“She can,” Raven nodded. “She’s the coach, and people would say it’s just because he’s her son, but he’s actually one of the best players on the team. Aside from his girlfriend Ontari. She’s in their goal.” 

“How can she be any good if she’s just sitting in goal?” Clarke asked.

“She saves like almost every goal someone’s tried to get.”

All of a sudden Lexa kicked the ball in between Roan’s legs and sprinted past him and managed to get all the way to the goal before anyone else caught up with her – they were too caught off guard. 

She saw Roan out of the corner of her eye skidding past her and instinctively booted the ball towards the goal. She saw it slip past Ontari’s fingertips as she tried to catch it and hit the back of the net before the bottom of Roan’s cleat collided with the side of her left foot and she fell to the ground.

Lexa sat up quickly to avoid any more collisions and examined her foot that had shooting pains going through the bones, and she braced herself to get up and keep going. Lincoln was already injured, and she didn’t need her team to be without their captain. 

The Polis crowd, who had been silent since Lexa fell, erupted into a cheer as she hobbled back to towards their goal.

“You okay, Commander?” Emori, who was bouncing on the balls of her feet, asked her from inside the goal. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. You’re doing a great job saving Azgeda’s goals, by the way,” Lexa nodded and praised her goalkeeper.

“Thanks. You, however, do not look as fine as you claim. You’re limping!” Emori exclaimed.

“I think Roan just hit a nerve or something in my foot. It should pass just like pins and needles. I can play, I’m fine, trust me,” Lexa shook off the pain.

“We’ve got thirty minutes until half time, you can do it, Commander!” Emori told her as Lexa ran as fast as she could to the side of the pitch to remain open.

As soon as half time came, Lexa grab a bottle of water and sat next to Lincoln whose leg was bandaged up and was sitting on the sidelines watching the game.

“You okay?” He asked her. “It was pretty hard not to miss Roan sliding into you like that.”

Lexa looked at her foot properly and realised there was a hole just below where her big toe met the rest of her foot. She sighed, “He put a hole in my cleats. These were new for this season too.”

“I’m sure your actual foot is more valuable than the shoes though, Lexa,” Lincoln rolled his eyes mockingly.

“Feet heal, shoes do not.”

“Are you gonna get it checked out? You were limping for the rest of the game,” he said. 

“I’m fine,” Lexa shook her head. 

Lincoln raised his eyebrows at her.

“What? I said I’m fine! Seriously!” She tried to defend herself.

“You’re not even gonna take your shoe off and see if your foot’s okay?” 

“No, I just need some painkillers,” she said, and just like magic, Aden came running up to her. “I swear to God if you ask me how my foot is I will use it to kick you as hard as I kicked that damn soccer ball,” she threatened.

“Well, I was going to ask that, but now I know that you’re just peachy, I won’t,” Aden said.

“Do you have any painkillers?” She asked him.

Aden smirked and pulled a box of tablets out of his pocket.

“Oh my God, you’re a lifesaver,” she pulled him into a hug from where she was sat.

“I kinda figured you’d need them,” Aden chuckled and sat beside her.

 

There was two minutes left to go, and Polis and Azgeda were tied with one goal each. A boy called Cage Wallace was dribbling the ball towards the goal when Indra ran up beside him and kicked the ball out from under him.

“Octavia!” She shouted and kicked the ball to her. 

Octavia didn’t have much time to react. She got the ball, narrowly missed Echo, and kicked it as hard as she could manage to the other end of the pitch.

It landed right in front of Otan, who was on his own by the other goal. His face drained of its color as he saw Roan running towards him. He clenched his jaw and took in a deep breath as he kicked the ball towards Ontari, who was completely caught off guard as she didn’t expect one of Polis’ new teammates to try to score in the first match of the season.

The ball completely missed her and instead, landed gracefully in the goal. Cheers from every direction deafened Otan’s ears, and his eyes widened as they found Lexa’s who was proudly smiling at him.

Roan stopped dead in his tracks and glared at Ontari whose face was in her hands, cursing herself for being so foolish.

Emori ran to her little brother and wrapped him in a tight hug, the rest of the team following. The Polis crowd stood up, clapping and whooping as they had _finally_ won against Azgeda.

And like at the end of any winning game, Lexa, the Polis captain, was raised on to the shoulders of her teammates as they chanted the word _Commander_ over and over again.

Clarke, who was clapping along with the rest of the crowd, abruptly stopped when she heard the chants. 

She shook her head.

 _Commander_.

It couldn’t be.


	11. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Clarke's realisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has got a kind of graphic description of a broken bone. if you're squeamish or anything then avoid the second paragraph

“Guys, put me down!” Lexa laughed from on top of the shoulders of her teammates. “This wasn’t my winning goal, this was Otan’s!”

“Lexa’s right!” Anya announced. “Put her down,” she told her teammates who did as they were told. “Otan,” she waved for him to come over and her and Emori bent down to put him on their shoulders. 

Lexa clapped along with her teammates and found Otan’s grin to be contagious. She was incredibly happy for the sophomore and _so_ proud of her team for beating Azgeda, something she’d wanted to do since her freshman year at Polis High.

She watched Indra take a step beside Octavia who was cheering and clapping for Otan, and the dark girl put a hand on Octavia’s shoulder.

“Well done, Octavia,” Indra raised her chin.

“Oh, um, th-thanks. Thanks, Indra,” Octavia nodded, putting her celebrations on hold.

“You did really well. That winning goal was partly from you too.”

“Well… Otan scored…” Octavia said, lacking confidence as she spoke to the intimidating girl.

“He wouldn’t have if you didn’t pass the ball to him from across the field. You’ve got quite the kick,” Indra said.

“Thank you,” Octavia finally took the compliment.

“Welcome to the team,” Indra smiled and shook her hand.

Octavia smiled shook her hand back; her eyes briefly found Bellamy in the crowd, who was standing up, clapping, and watching his baby sister proudly. It didn’t take long for Octavia to see Clarke beside him, frozen in her spot, watching the team. 

Octavia features grew fearful and she looked between Clarke and Bellamy multiple times, hoping that her brother would get the message. 

Thankfully, he did.

Bellamy turned to Clarke, who wasn’t doing anything except standing with the rest of the crowd, her face void of any kind of expression.

“Clarke?” He asked her carefully. “Clarke?"

Raven heard the subtle panic in his voice and turned to see her friend stood rooted to the spot.

“Uh, Bell, what’s she doing?” Raven asked, not knowing how she could miss Clarke, who was right next to her, stood in such a scary manner.

“Clarke?” Bellamy asked again, this time putting a hand gently on her shoulder.

This seemed to shake Clarke out of her daze and she gasped, shaking her head.

“Sorry, I just- I need to go,” she said all of a sudden, pushing past Raven, Jasper and Monty to get out of the stands and somewhere more quiet.

 

Lexa groaned in pain as she took off her cleats to find her left sock drenched in blood.

“Shit,” she clenched her jaw and screwed her eyes shut. 

“You okay, Commander?” Anya turned around and her eyes immediately fell to Lexa’s foot. “Shit, Lexa, your covered in blood. You played on that for the entire second half?" 

“It’s fine it just needs a band aid,” Lexa groaned.

“Try and wiggle your toes, Lexa,” Anya ordered. 

Lexa done as she was told, but the shooting pains weren’t getting any better. She found that she could barely move her toes without doubling over in pain.

“Okay, okay! Uh, Indra, can you get over here?” Anya asked her. “You gotta hold Lexa’s hand or something whilst I take her sock off.”

Indra nodded as Anya bent down in front of Lexa and slowly peeled her sock off. Lexa’s grip was excruciatingly tight on Indra’s hand as if it was trying to match the pain she felt in her foot.

“Okay, so I found out where the blood’s coming from,” Anya finally said.

“Where?” Lexa dared to open her eyes look.

When she did, she saw that her foot was beginning to swell. Her big toe was bent inwards starting from the point where Roan had pierced her shoe, and a small bit of bone was showing. 

“Jesus Christ,” Indra exclaimed, getting the attention of the rest of the girls in the locker room. 

“What happened?” Octavia asked.

“Lexa broke her foot,” Anya said simply. 

“Was that from Roan?” Octavia asked, but got no answer.

“Uh, Niylah. Can you get Titus?” Anya asked the blonde haired girl who nodded enthusiastically and began to head out of the locker room.

“No! Niylah, wait!” Lexa called. “I’m fine, guys.”

“Lexa, your bone is showing,” Anya told her.

“I know, but I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt that bad. You’re all going to The Dropship, right?” Lexa asked as she picked up her shower gel and shampoo to head to the showers.

“Not with you in this condition,” Indra shook her head.

“C’mon! I just want to celebrate my team winning against literally the worst team in the world before I worry about this. I’ll just take some more pain meds,” Lexa shrugged. 

“No. I’m getting Titus. Indra, make sure she doesn’t go anywhere,” Anya said. 

“What, so I can’t even shower?” Lexa sighed.

 

Clarke stood in the empty math corridor by herself as the adrenaline of the game wore off for everyone.

Was it just a coincidence or was Lexa really the commander? _Her_ commander.

Was the person who she was talking to for almost 3 months now Lexa Woods, a girl she once thought was incredibly intimidating?

Her emotions were scattered.

She decided to go home without another word to her friends to look through Tumblr.

 

“Lexa, you have to get to a hospital. This could get an infection or just get worse if you just leave it,” Titus told her for what was probably the 15th time.

“I just want to go to The Dropship for a couple of hours with my friends and _then_ worry about this,” Lexa argued.

“Y’know what, I can’t force you to go to the hospital, so you can go out with your friends, but you damn well better get that checked out otherwise you’re off the team,” Titus glared at her and walked out of the locker room.

“You really pissed him off, Lexa,” Anya said.

“Whatever. The Dropship? Lemme get showered and we can head out,” Lexa said as she hobbled into the shower.

All of a sudden, Raven came crashing into the locker room to find Octavia.

“O!” She shouted. “Have you seen Clarke?”

“No, is she okay?” Octavia asked her.

“None of us can find her. After the game she sort of froze up and then bolted,” Raven said.

“I saw her freeze up from the pitch, but I didn’t see her bolt. Did she say anything?” Octavia asked as she began to panic.

“No, she just said that she had to go." 

“Shit.” Octavia whispered and picked up her phone. She got Clarke’s contact name up and hit the call button. “Pick up, Clarke, pick up,” she whispered to herself as she heard the other line ringing.

“Hello?” She heard Clarke’s voice, softer than usual.

“Clarke! Thank fuck. Where are you?” Octavia asked frantically.

“I’m at home, O. I’m fine,” Clarke reassured her.

“Oh thank God. Don’t do that again, you silly bitch,” Octavia told her and heard Clarke chuckle. 

Raven shook her head and took the phone out of Octavia’s hand, deciding to talk to Clarke herself.

“Hey, it’s Raven. What happened?”

“Hey, Ray. Nothing really happened I just realised something and kinda needed some air. I just wanted to be by myself,” Clarke explained.

“Okay, well next time could you at least tell us where you’re going? It’s cool if you want to be by yourself, but don’t make the girl with the leg brace run around the school looking for you,” Raven told her, only half serious.

“Okay, Ray. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I think O wants to talk to you again,” Raven said and passed the phone back over to Octavia who was doing a little dance trying to get Raven to pass it to her.

“Hey, Clarke. We’re all going to The Dropship in for a couple of hours if you decide you want some company,” Octavia said.

“Okay, thanks, O. Maybe I’ll stop by in an hour,” Clarke told her.

“Okay. I love you, and Raven loves you, and the guys love you,” Octavia said sweetly.

“I love you guys too. I’ll see you in an hour,” Clarke said and hung up the phone. 

A scream coming from the showers shocked everyone in the soccer room, and Anya knew it had to be Lexa.

“You okay in there, Commander?” Anya called to her.

“Fine. Just fucking hurts trying to wash my feet,” Lexa called back. “It’s like when you get into a hot bath with a popped blister, but times the pain by ten!” 

“Still not set on going to a hospital?” Anya asked.

“Nope! It’s all good!”

 

Clarke was searching frantically through iam-thecommander’s asks trying to work out if it was really Lexa or purely a coincidence. She considering even asking Google how common the nickname ‘Commander’ was, but decided against it. She could work it out by herself. 

Finally, she found messages from about 3 weeks into the online friendship, where the Commander had told Clarke that she didn’t like anyone at her school but the soccer team. It made sense, but everyone had their groups. Lexa and the Commander could have just been in similar ones.

But Lexa was also openly gay. It’s not like she really spoke about it to anyone, Clarke reckoned she was the kind of person who wouldn’t even discuss that sort of thing with her friends, but everyone knew. She had a girlfriend around the beginning of high school. What was her name? Trisha? Tasha?

As she was scrolling through the Commander’s answered asks, she realized the way that she typed. Her spelling and grammar was perfect, something that Clarke thought was uncommon with high school age students.

She remembered her Facebook messages to Lexa, and how the month before she was worrying if Lexa was mad because of her use of periods.

She pulled up her Facebook messages with Lexa and compared them to her Tumblr messages, finding that the way they typed were exactly the same. But then so was how Clarke typed. How had Lexa not realized this? Or had she realized but not said anything for the sake of saving Clarke the embarrassment?

 

Lexa hobbled over to a booth in The Dropship, closely followed by Anya, Indra, Lincoln and Niylah.

“Octavia, care to join us?” Indra called to Octavia. 

“Uh, no thanks, Indra. I think I’m gonna sit with my friends today. Maybe on our next win, though,” she winked.

“Sure,” Indra nodded and sat down.

An over-exuberant peppy waitress came over to Lexa’s booth. “Hi! Grounders, right?”

“Yeah,” Niylah replied for them. “Just won our first game of the season.”

“Nice! Are you the captain?” She asked, and Anya had to hold in her laughter.

Niylah was a sweet girl, but one of the worst players on the team.

“No, that would be Lexa,” she smiled and pointed to the brunette, whose face was buried in the menu.

“Well congratulations, captain,” the waitress said. “Can I get any of you anything to drink whilst you decide on your orders?”

“Uh, I’ll just have a water, thanks,” Lexa said.

“Sure, and for the rest of you?”

The group ordered their drinks and fell smoothly into a discussion about the game. 

“Ontari was caught way off guard with that last goal,” Lincoln laughed.

“Yeah, who knew that Otan had it in him?” Anya chuckled along. “Seriously though, Lexa, you gotta get him out on the field some more. Kid’s good." 

“I’ll think about it,” Lexa replied.

“What’s there to think about? He scored against Ontari! So far, you’ve been the only other person to do that!” Lincoln told her.

“Well he’d have to replace someone. He’s our number two,” Lexa said. 

“I can think of someone…” Anya muttered only loud enough for Lexa to near. And Lexa knew exactly whom she was talking about. Niylah.

 

Clarke hesitantly stepped through the doors to The Dropship 45 minutes later. She kept her head down and headed straight for Octavia’s table, sitting down without a word.

“Hey… Clarke…” Jasper started, not knowing how to talk to the girl. 

“Can we please not do that, Jasper?” Clarke immediately asked him, sensing his discomfort that she could assure wasn’t as great as hers. She turned to Octavia instead, trying to act as casual as possible. “Great game, O. I can’t believe that you helped with the winning goal!” 

“Thanks, Clarke. Indra has actually officially welcomed me on to the team now!” Octavia grinned.

“That’s great!” She smiled for the girl and took a slice of pizza from the plate in the middle of the table.

“Sure, Clarke, take some pizza that you didn’t pay for,” Raven scolded and Clarke just opened her mouthful of chewed food at her, grossing her out.

“What’s been going on since the game anyway?” Clarke asked group.

“Not much, just been sitting here having to listen to Lexa talk about Lincoln for _way_ too long,” Monty answered.

“Have not!” Octavia defended herself.

“Uh, I’m going to agree with Monty…” Bellamy piped up. 

“Shut up, Bell,” Octavia pouted.

Clarke watched her friends and laughed along with them, happy to be feeling at least semi-normal since the game ended.

“Speaking of, is Lincoln not sitting with us? I thought he would be since you were both in the game, sort of,” Clarke said, remembering Lincoln’s injury early on in the game.

“Nah, he’s with Lexa and Anya and that lot,” Octavia waved her hand in the general direction of Lincoln’s booth.

“You mean the _Commander?_ ” Jasper asked, waggling his eyebrows. “You guys have to admit that she looked pretty hot in that war paint, right?”

“You know she’s a lesbian, Jasper? And waaay out of your league,” Raven laughed.

At the mention of Lexa and the Commander, Clarke momentarily seized up. She thought that no one had noticed, but she didn’t know that Octavia was keeping a close eye on her since she came into The Dropship.

“Clarke, do you mind if I talk to you for a second?” Octavia asked her.

“Sure,” Clarke barely replied before Octavia was pulling her up and into the women’s restroom.

“What is going on with you?” She asked after she checked to make sure the stalls were empty.

“What?” Clarke asking as feigned being confused.

“You froze up after the match and you froze up just now. I’m starting to see a pattern,” Octavia said.

“Octavia, I’m fine-“

“It’s about Lexa, isn’t it?” She crossed her arms. 

“What? No!” Clarke matched Octavia’s body language.

“Well whilst everyone was chanting 'Commander', you bolted, and now everyone’s talking about her again you’re so uncomfortable. Even now!”

“If I tell you this, you cannot tell anyone,” Clarke looked at her in the eye, dead serious.

“You know you can trust me,” Octavia nodded.

“So, Raven found out that I’m questioning my sexuality because she saw me on Tumblr talking anonymously to this gay girl about girls. I’ve been talking to her since about late July to early August, and we get on really well. Then I really started to get to know Lexa in September and I just kind of felt like I had, I don’t know, a _connection_ with her. And now I’m hearing her being called the Commander. The Tumblr girl’s URL is 'I am the Commander'…” Clarke explained.

Octavia’s eyes widened as she realised what Clarke was saying. “You think Lexa is your Tumblr girl?”

“That’s why I went home. I looked online through our Facebook messages and Tumblr messages, and everything seems to just make sense,” Clarke said.

“Are you sure it’s not a coincidence?” Octavia asked as she doubted the blonde for a second. 

“It could be, but it really doesn’t feel like one, O.”

“Well, you’ve gotta say something, right?”

“The Tumblr is really private. Whoever it is doesn’t have their name or any pictures or even their exact age on there. All I know is that she’s a lesbian, she’s from America and that she’s a senior,” Clarke explained. 

“You’ve basically just described Lexa."

“But what if it’s not her? What if I say something and she’s like ‘ha ha, Clarke, that’s not me, but thanks for the info, why I don't I tell literally everyone in the entire world’?” Clarke worried.

“Okay, firstly, I really doubt that Lexa, the only out lesbian in our grade, would out you. And secondly, what if it is?” Octavia said.

It was then that Lexa had what Clarke thought was _the worst_ timing in the world as she hobbled into the restroom.

“Hey, Octavia. Thanks,” Lexa smiled in pain as Octavia grabbed the door for her when she realised it was her.

“No problem. I should get back to my friends now,” Octavia said and stood in the doorway. “Clarke,” she gave the blonde a look that said _tell her_.

“Hey, Clarke,” Lexa greeted her.

“Oh, um, hey. Hey, Lexa. Great game.” _Wow, Clarke, you couldn’t be more awkward even if you tried._

“Thanks! Yeah, we finally beat Azgeda. I’m glad you could come,” Lexa smiled as she hobbled into a stall doorway.

“Are you okay there?” Clarke asked her, temporarily forgetting her awkwardness.

“Yeah. I just broke my foot is all…” Lexa admitted, her cheeks momentarily tinted red.

“Shit, Lex!-“

“I know, I know. Go to a hospital, get it looked at, you’ll just make it worse. The whole enchilada,” Lexa shrugged off Clarke’s worry.

“They weren’t joking,” Clarke chuckled.

“I couldn’t just leave the game,” Lexa said.

“Not even for a broken foot?” Clarke raised her eyebrows.

“Nope!” Lexa popped the p.

“I’ve got some bad news for you then regarding the future of you playing for the next month or so…” Clarke clicked her tongue, making Lexa laugh.

“How’d you like the game anyway?” Lexa asked her.

“It was really great, everyone played great,” Clarke nodded her head in approval.

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled and hobbled further into the stall.

“Well, I’ll catch you later or something,” Clarke said and made her way to leave the restroom.

“Bye.”

Clarke sat back down with the group, trying her best to not make eye contact with Octavia but failed as she felt the girl’s eyes burning into her. She looked at her and gave her a quick shake of the head to let her know that she didn’t say anything to Lexa.

“Clarke, we were just talking about our annual Halloween party,” Monty told her.

“Oh?” She perked up at the mention of it.

“Is your mom working on Halloween again this year?” He asked her. 

“Just the same as every year,” Clarke confirmed. “Pumping teenage girl’s stomachs from the hours of 7pm to 6am.”

“Sweet!” Jasper grinned.

“We were thinking of inviting some more people than just the Delinquents,” Monty informed her.

“Who?” Clarke asked.

“The soccer team… if that’s alright with you?” Monty said. “I mean it’s your house, your decision.”

Clarke knew the Delinquents as the six of them around the table, Harper, Monroe, Miller, Bryan, Wells and Finn. They had all become relatively good friends since sitting around, bored out of their minds, during a lunchtime detention in the sixth grade.

“The more the merrier, right?” Jasper said, still grinning.

“Okay, fine,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “But you’re all coming to mine beforehand to put away everything that has even a slight chance of getting damaged.”

“And…” Raven said.

“And Finn Collins is not invited under any circumstance. I’m not having that creep hit on me this year too.”

“Can Maya come?” Jasper asked suddenly.

“Um, sure, Jasper,” Clarke said.

“Okay, well I’ll go and tell the team about it,” Octavia got up and wandered over to Lincoln’s booth first.

“Tell them they’re not to invite anybody else!” Clarke called. 

Clarke wondered why she’d just agreed to let the entire soccer team, including Lexa Woods, come to what is usually a chilled out and relax Halloween party. It was going to be a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has been reading this fic and giving me pointers on the american education system in the comments and on tumblr. it really helps me out! :)


	12. Injuries and Parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets treatment for her broken foot and Clarke and the rest of the Delinquents organise the Halloween party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this has taken so long to update! i aimed to have this chapter up like 3 weeks ago but Life happened and then my 18th birthday

Lexa groaned as she opened her eyes to an unfamiliar surrounding. There was an ache starting from her left thigh all the way down to her heel as her eyes adjusted to the fluorescent lighting that she figured was meant to be soothing, but just gave her a headache. The walls were a bare, pale green, save for the TV mounted on the wall opposite her. She looked down and recognised the bed as one that would be in a hospital, and as she looked to her left the morphine drip in her arm confirmed her location. 

Suddenly, the door opened, and Lexa saw Aden’s worried face transform into a small smile as he stepped into the room.

“Lexa, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” He asked as he sat on a chair that had been placed next to her bed, setting a plastic cup of what she assumed was hot chocolate on the table next to the bed. 

“Like shit,” she chuckled. “Aden, what happened? Why am I in the hospital?” 

“You don’t remember?” Aden seemed surprised.

She shook her head blankly.

“Uh, well after the soccer game, everyone went to The Dropship, do you remember that?” Aden asked her.

Lexa nodded. She remembered talking to Clarke in… was it a bathroom? And Clarke was worried about her because of her foot. Which was broken. And Lexa stupidly refused to go to hospital for some reason.

“We were all there for a couple of hours. The soccer team, Clarke and her friends, I was with my friends, even Dax, Murphy and Atom were there! And then when you got up to leave you just sort of passed out,” Aden explained. 

“I broke my foot…” Lexa hung her head. 

“Yeah, and I found that out from Anya! I ran over to you went you fainted, because pretty much everyone saw, and Anya explained to me what you’d done. You didn’t think to tell me?” Aden’s tone grew angry.

“I’m sorry, Aden, I just didn’t want to make any hassle,” Lexa tried to explain.

“And now you’re in the hospital,” he laughed bitterly.

“I should have told you,” Lexa said.

“Yeah, you should have." 

The door opened again and a nurse and Lexa’s mother came in.

“Oh, Alexandria, you’re awake!” Luna came rushing over to Lexa to give her a hug.

“Hi, Alexandria. How are you feeling?” The nurse asked; her square glasses and high ponytail made her look instantly friendlier, Lexa decided.

“It’s Lexa. And I ache,” she smiled.

“I’m not surprised. Do you remember your injury?”

“Yeah I remember it happening, but I don’t remember anything after being at The Dropship,” Lexa said.

“No, I don’t suspect that you would. Well your brother here told me everything that had happened from the soccer game. You broke your big toe from the impact that the other player had sliding into you, he must have been big!” The nurse said. 

“Yeah, just a bit,” Lexa thought about Roan. 

“But because you carried on playing like normal even with the break, you actually made it worse for yourself – my team suspected that it started to get more and more dislodged until it ripped through the skin. Your coach should have called an ambulance right away, I’m not sure how you didn’t feel all that pain!” The nurse exclaimed. 

“Me neither. I mean, I knew it hurt, but I guess I just didn’t realise how much until the adrenaline of the game began to wear off,” Lexa figured.

“You had to have surgery to straighten the bone, there’s pins in there to hold it in place as it heals which it should do nicely and then we can take them out, but if not then I’m afraid they’ll have to be left in. We stitched up the tear in your skin too to prevent infection; you’re actually very lucky because this doesn’t look like it’s infected,” the nurse explained.

“What’s the gauze for?” Lexa asked, nodding to the material wrapped around her from her ankle to her toes.

“Oh, that was to keep your foot straight as you slept. We were waiting until you were awake to put a cast on." 

“A cast?” Lexa repeated. 

“Yes, I’m afraid this is the bad part. You’ll have a cast on for about two months, so hopefully it will be off by New Year’s, and then we can start on physiotherapy to get your strength back. However, because of the severity of the break, your toe is always going to be weaker than it was, and we recommend that you don’t play soccer or any sport that involves a lot of running around again.”

Lexa sat in shock. No more soccer. It was practically the one thing that Lexa was both good at and that she loved, and now she couldn’t do it anymore.

“Would you three like some time to let that sink in or would you like to go ahead and get your cast now? The sooner you do that the sooner we can discharge you,” the nurse said.

“I’ll get the cast now,” Lexa mumbled. 

“Okay,” the nurse said and went to get a wheelchair that was by the door. “I’m really sorry about this, Lexa.”

 

Lexa came home with a deep purple cast on her foot and crutches under her shoulders supporting her weight. She managed to jump up the stairs on her good foot and collapse into her bed. Tears began to flow freely down her face and contemplated her last year of high school without being on the soccer team. Sure, she had other things to occupy herself with, like the concert in December and the play rehearsals that were starting next week, but it just wasn’t her. She was _meant_ for soccer.

She heard her ring tone playing beside her and picked up her phone to see Anya calling her.

“Hello?” She sniffled down the phone.

“Lexa. How are you?” Anya asked sensitively. 

“I can’t play soccer anymore, Anya, I can’t,” Lexa sobbed.

“Okay, okay, shh. Want me to come over?” Anya asked.

“Yeah,” Lexa mumbled.

“I’ll be there in ten,” Anya said and hung up.

True to her word, Anya was knocking on the outside of Lexa’s bedroom door ten minutes later.

“Yeah?” Lexa called to her.

“Hey, Lexie,” Anya came in and sat beside Lexa who lay on her bed. “You wanna talk about it?” She stroked Lexa’s long hair.

“I have to have the cast for two months and then physiotherapy but I won’t be able to play soccer again no matter how much physio I have,” Lexa’s voice wavered.

“That sucks, Lexa. There’s nothing I can say to make it better, I’m sorry,” Anya sighed. “At least we beat Azgeda.”

“Was it worth it though?” Lexa’s red-rimmed and watery eyes looked up to meet Anya’s.

“Probably not,” Anya shook her head. 

“No it probably wasn’t, but it was pretty satisfying watching Ontari’s face as she missed Otan’s goal,” Lexa chuckled.

“Yeah it was,” Anya mused.

 

Clarke was in the auditorium working on a backdrop for the play as some of the students, including Lexa, rehearsed on stage. She painted intricate details as she swirled her brush around, painting the green leaves of a tree whilst she heard Lexa projecting in the background. 

“Okay, that’ll do for today,” she heard Sienna announce, to which she felt some nervous tension in the air evaporate. “Good job everyone.”

It was relatively quiet for the next few minutes until a voice behind her made her jump.

“Wow, nice work," she turned around to find Lexa hovering awkwardly with crutches supporting the majority of her weight. 

“Thanks,” Clarke smiled, putting the paintbrush on her palette and wiping her hands on her paint-stained jeans. “How are rehearsals coming along?”

“We’re just getting the feel for the script right now. Hopefully by the time the show rolls around this should be long gone,” she gestured to her cast.

“How is that?” Clarke frowned, realising how strange it seemed to see Lexa injured.

“It sucks,” Lexa sighed and found herself relaying the information the nurse had told her when she got the cast put on. “I have to get this cast off in a week and a half to check if I’m getting an infection, and then I’ve still got 7 weeks left with a new one of these dumb things on.”

“So until Christmas?” Clarke estimated.

“About then,” Lexa nodded.

“That does suck,” Clarke agreed. “But at least it won’t be forever. You’ll be back to your usual self in no time,” she gave Lexa what she hoped was a reassuring smile, but Lexa just looked even more miserable. “You will, won’t you?” 

“I won’t be able to play soccer again, if that’s what you mean,” Lexa kept her eyes trained on the swirls Clarke had created on the backdrop.

“That’s crazy! A fracture is nothing a bit of physio won’t fix!” Clarke raised her voice slightly, getting angry on Lexa’s behalf. She had almost forgotten that this was the same girl she’d been talking to online since the summer.

“Apparently the bone will always be weaker so the hospital told me I’m not allowed. But don’t tell the rest of the team, none of them know yet except Anya,” Lexa looked deflated but forced a smile. “I thought you’d know that, you want to be a doctor, right?”

Clarke’s face softened at Lexa’s confession and she replied softly, “I don’t know what I want anymore…”

Lexa looked at her in confusion when Niylah came rushing through the doors.

“Lexa, Lexa, you’ve gotta come quick!” She panted.

“What is it?” The girl on crutches turned to her teammate.

“It’s Titus,” Niylah said.

 

Lexa, Niylah, Anya and Indra stood outside Titus’s office with their ears pressed to the wall, hearing the muffled voice of Principal Jaha. 

“I ought to be firing you for how irresponsible you are,” he almost shouted.

“Thelonius, she’s strong willed. Why do you think I made her captain?” Titus said. Lexa swore she’d never heard more fear in his voice.

“It doesn’t matter. She’s a student; once she’s on these grounds, she’s in our care. She had to have surgery, which might not have happened if she had gotten to a hospital sooner!” 

“You’re right,” came the quiet voice of Titus.

“Her mother says the nurse said she might not be able to play again,” Jaha informed him. 

Suddenly, Lexa felt Niylah and Indra’s eyes boring into her skin. She looked at them briefly and saw confusion and sadness mixed into their features.

“I won’t fire you, because we have no one to replace you permanently, but I am suspending you. Four weeks without pay. We’ll have the paperwork filled out and delivered to your home address. You may go now.”

Suddenly, the door swung open and Titus walked out, his head hanging low. He looked at the four girls and winced at Lexa’s cast before heading to leave.

“Poor Titus,” Niylah whispered as they made their way out of earshot from Jaha.

“Yeah, but I do get Jaha’s point. He should have phoned an ambulance for you, Lexa,” Anya said.

“It’s all my fault,” Lexa mumbled, keeping her eyes on the ground in front of her as she was still getting used to her crutches.

“Okay, I’m not going to deny that you should have gone to a hospital. But whether you wanted to or not, he should have made you. You’re only seventeen and he had a responsibility over you. Okay?” Anya stopped in front of Lexa, forcing the brunette to look her in the eye.

“Okay,” Lexa nodded sadly.

“You will be able to play again, right?” Niylah asked apprehensively.

“It doesn’t look like it, Niy…” Lexa sighed. 

“Why didn’t you tell us as soon as you knew?” Indra spoke up.

“I didn’t know how…”

“Guys, give her a break. It was hard enough on her when she found out the news,” Anya said.

“Wait, you knew?” Niylah asked, clearly frustrated.

“Yeah, but only because I called Lexa once she was out of the hospital,” Anya tried to explain.

“Okay, great,” Niylah nodded and stormed off with Indra following closely behind her.

“I’ll talk to them, don’t worry,” Anya reassured Lexa who was becoming tearful with guilt.

 

Clarke was sitting in the almost deserted school library. She had been on Lexa’s blog for 10 minutes contemplating whether she should send her a message or not. Lexa had posted briefly the other day about her broken foot and how she wouldn’t be able to play soccer anymore and Clarke saw that she had gotten around 10 replies with people saying how it sucked and how sorry they were.

She clicked on Lexa’s ask box, ticked the anon box, and typed out her message. Without thinking about it, she hit send.

“Hey,” she heard Octavia say from behind her. 

“Oh, hey, O,” Clarke said and quickly shut down the internet browser. She looked at her father's watch that she kept strapped to her wrist, and read the time as 4:15pm. “No soccer practice today?”

“No. Niylah told me that Titus is suspended because he didn’t call an ambulance for Lexa, so Jaha’s looking for a temporary replacement for him,” Octavia said. 

“But you have another game in two weeks!” Clarke said.

“I know. That’s not even the worst of it… Lexa can’t play anymore,” Octavia sighed.

“Oh…” was all Clarke could say. “Well, um, that news travelled fast." 

“What do you mean?” Octavia looked at Clarke.

“Lexa kind of already told me yesterday…” Clarke admitted. 

“What?! Just because you've been talking on Tumblr for a couple months that means you're so close all of a sudden?!” Octavia almost shouted.

“Sh!” The library assistant sneered at them.

“Sorry,” Octavia rolled her eyes and pulled Clarke out into the hallway.

“Octavia, Lexa told me not to tell any of her teammates, she said only Anya knew. It wasn’t my information to tell,” Clarke defended herself. 

“Oh sure, but you can’t at least tell your best friend who also happens to be on the soccer team? You do realise that without Lexa we’re not even that great of a team? You didn’t wanna give me a heads up on this?” Octavia stared Clarke down. 

“O, just give her a break. Yesterday was her first proper day back at school in almost a week. She’s got this play to rehearse for and tests to study for. Isn’t she coming to watch some practices too? She still supports you guys,” Clarke said.

“Whatever, Clarke,” Octavia huffed and walked away.

 

Octavia found the soccer team, sans Lexa, in the gym playing basketball.

“Shouldn’t you be kicking those?” She smirked.

“Octavia, you’re on my team,” Indra smiled at the brunette and passed the ball to her.

Octavia jogged over to a hoop before throwing it in there rather violently.

“Woah, what’s up with you?” Anya asked her.

“I just spoke to Clarke,” she said with nothing but anger filling her tone.

“What happened?” Lincoln asked, worried about his girlfriend’s friendship.

“She said that she knew before any of us that Lexa can’t play anymore because Lexa told her yesterday,” Octavia told them.

“What the hell?” Emori spoke. “She trusts some art girl more than her own team?" 

“Guys, cut Lexa some slack,” Anya said.

“That’s exactly what Clarke said. But I suppose you’d know since you knew before any of us too,” Octavia glared at her.

“I only knew because I spoke to Lexa as soon as she got out of hospital. The news was still fresh in her mind and she was upset so I went to her house. I didn’t know that she told Clarke, but I know that she didn’t want to tell any of you because she knew how upset and disappointed you’d be, but it’s not like she can help it,” Anya explained.

“She could have gone to the hospital as soon as she fell down…” Emori mumbled.

“That’s enough, Emori. She’s still our captain,” Indra piped up.

The team fell silent and thought about their situation.

“We can still beat Mount Weather after Halloween though. We can do it for Lexa,” Otan said quietly.

“For our _Commander_ ,” Anya grinned.

 

“I heard about the soccer situation,” Raven said.

“Hm,” Lexa responded.

“It sucks, Lexa, it really does. But at least you’ve got other things to focus on right now,” Raven reasoned.

“Can we not talk about it please and just play?” Lexa asked Raven.

“Sure, sure,” Raven nodded and counted them in. 

They were in a practice room in music trying to perfect the song that they had chosen to perform for the music show in December. Raven had decided on _Guns For Hands_ by Twenty One Pilots after hearing Lexa sing it with such raw emotion.

Lexa sung into the microphone that had been lowered to chair height so that she could be heard over Raven’s drumming. Neither of their playing had been quite perfected but that was okay. Lexa concentrated on strumming her guitar, careful not to let the tears that burned her eyes spill over as she let her emotions from the last week pour out into the song.

Raven paused just before the rapping verse so that they could discuss it.

“How do you wanna play this bit?” She asked Lexa.

“Uh, I was thinking that you could just do the normal beat, maybe a bit simpler, and I could just play like the first note of each bar?” Lexa suggested.

“Sounds great, let’s try it,” Raven nodded. “From the la, da, da, da, das?”

“Yep,” Lexa agreed and they began to play again.

When it got to the rapping verse, they got a little tied up having never really rehearsed that particular bit yet, but finished knowing exactly where their hiccups were so that they could work on them.

“Okay, so you can rap, sing, play guitar, act, play soccer. Is there anything you _can’t_ do?” Raven asked, sitting a bit shocked after hearing Lexa rap for the first time.

“Uh, dance,” Lexa chuckled and looked down at her leg. “And now play soccer.”

Raven sensed the sadness in the other girl’s voice and desperately wanted to get rid of it. “You and me both, Woods.”

“I thought you could play soccer? And I’ve seen you dance,” Lexa smiled.

“You’ve seen me twerk. I could never live out my dream of becoming a professional street dancer now!” Raven feigned disappointment, which caused Lexa to laugh. “I shouldn’t really play soccer, but Jaha kind of had no choice but to let me participate in gym lest I get bored and set some things on fire,” she got a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“From last year’s gym class I remember that you weren’t allowed to play dodgeball,” Lexa remembered.

“Yeah, they won’t let me play the one game that I actually love,” Raven sighed.

“You always seemed happy that you couldn’t play,” Lexa said.

“Well yeah, I’m not going to let anyone picking the teams see that I’m disappointed that I can’t be on their dumb team in the first place…” 

“Sienna would be proud of your acting skills,” Lexa said, trying to take the edge off.

“Oh please, Sienna wants to be me,” Raven winked as she tried to act confident. “Should we do another practice of the song?”

“Yup,” Lexa nodded, sensing Raven’s discomfort as the attention was on her.

 

On Monday morning Clarke sat in her usual seat in homeroom with the discussion of the Delinquents’ annual Halloween brewing among her friends. 

“Check it out guys,” Jasper said as he pulled a wad of business cards out from his pocket. “I made invites.”

“You made business cards,” Octavia said.

“Yeah, but at least they’re small enough to fit in people’s wallets so that they don’t forget,” Jasper said.

“Why not just get them to write it on their calendars? Or make a Facebook event?” Bellamy asked. 

“Because then anyone can see that we’re having a party and I’m sure Clarke doesn’t want strangers at her house,” Jasper replied.

“You can make the event private,” Clarke told him.

“Whatever, I put a lot of effort into these cards and I’ve even got enough for you guys,” he said and distributed them around to the group. “I’m gonna go ask Lexa if she can give some to the soccer team.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Clarke asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Jasper replied, apparently oblivious to Lexa’s situation.

“Uh, because she’s kind of not on the team anymore. Why don’t you just let O hand them out?” Clarke said.

“Well, if I go and give her some invites, maybe it’ll take her mind off of her broken leg long enough to go and invite her friends,” Jasper reasoned and walked over to Lexa who was at the back of the classroom. 

“Hey, Lexa,” he leaned over her desk.

“Oh, hey, Jasper,” she looked up from the book she had her nose buried in.

“Whatcha reading?” He asked.

“ _Much Ado About Nothing_ , it’s for the play,” she told him, showing him the front cover.

“Isn’t the play in like March?” He thought.

“April, but it doesn’t hurt to get a head start on the lines. We’ve already started rehearsing,” she said.

“Okay, cool, cool, cool. Well as I’m sure you’re aware Saturday is Halloween and O invited you to our party, right?”

“Right,” she nodded.

“I made these cards so you know where to go and when to turn up,” he gave her one. “Just to remind you.”

Lexa smirked at the effort he had gone to make them.

“Do you mind handing some out to your friends? The rest of the soccer team…” he asked with a bit more sensitivity. “The cards act as an invite, so if you don’t have your card to show us on the day then you won’t get in. We don’t want Murphy or Dax or anyone showing up unannounced,” he explained. 

“Sure,” Lexa shrugged and took a handful of the business cards.

“Cool. Thanks, Lexa, see you there!” He smiled and went back to his friends.

Lexa looked at the small business card. It read **DELINQUENTS ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY** in block letters on the front, with Jasper’s cell number and Clarke’s address underneath. She flicked it over and found that on the back there was information about the party.

_Sat 31st Oct 2015. 9:00pm – 3:00am. Bring your own alcohol if you can. Costumes preferred but not necessary. Monty’s famous moonshine will be served. DRUGS NOT PERMITTED._

“Wow, Jasper, I really like how anti-drug this business card is,” Lexa heard Raven say.

“I think it’s sensible,” Clarke hummed. “But you’ve gotta watch out about Monty’s moonshine. Last time he made that kids went crazy over it.”

“What can I say? I’m talented,” Monty grinned.

 

“Hey, Jasper Jordan told me to give these all to you,” Lexa spread out the business cards as the soccer team, minus Octavia, sat with her at lunch.

“Jasper Jordan?” Indra frowned.

“Yeah, that Delinquent kid? He’s co-hosting the Halloween party at Clarke’s house,” Lexa explained.

Lincoln reached forward and grabbed a card. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going.”

Indra glared at him.

“What? Octavia’s going…” he almost mumbled.

“I already told Octavia that I’m going, and Jasper’s told me that if you want to go then you have to have the card to show them to actually get into Clarke’s house. I’ve already got mine,” Lexa said. 

“Why didn’t he put our names on them so that he knows who’s invited? What if, I don’t know, Atom shows up and he forgets that he didn’t invite him, so he lets him in to ruin the party?” Anya asked as she reached for cards for her and Niylah.

“Because we’re not twelve, and I’m sure he’s got a list of people. I think he’d know if he didn’t want Atom there…” Lexa huffed.

“I’m going,” Niylah said confidently and earned a glare from Indra. “If Lincoln can go for Octavia then I can go for Clarke…” 

Niylah’s words sent an involuntary spike of jealousy down Lexa’s spine. 

“What’s ‘Monty’s famous moonshine’?” Emori asked.

“I don’t know but I’m sure we’ll find out,” Anya grinned.

“You guys can find out, but I won’t be drinking,” Lexa informed them.

“How come?” Niylah asked.

“I’m still on painkillers for my foot and I don’t think I’m allowed to drink with them. Plus I don’t want to be getting drunk and breaking my other foot. I’ll come, but I’m not drinking,” Lexa said. 

“So you can be our sober driver?” Niylah asked as she perked up.

“Niy, I can’t drive. My foot is broken…” Lexa rolled her eyes.

Niylah sat and thought for a second before slowly turning to face Indra at the end of the table. When Indra saw her eyes on her, she shook her head.

“Nope, no, no, no,” the dark girl said.

“Please, Indra! You don’t even drink! It’s Halloween, we all deserve to go out and have some fun! Just… our fun happens when we’re drunk,” Niylah pleaded.

Indra looked around the table and saw that everyone’s faces were silently begging her to drive.

“Fine…” she said through gritted teeth and a glare as Anya threw one of Jasper’s business cards at her.

“Thank you, Indra,” Niylah smiled.


	13. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Delinquents host their annual Halloween party.

**anonymous asked:**

hey, i saw your post about your broken foot and i just wanted to say that it sucks. i know from our conversations that soccer is like your thing and that it means a lot to you so if you cant play it anymore i just feel really bad for you :( -c

Lexa read the message a few times over. After her friends not being particularly supportive, the message from her internet stranger was warmly welcomed.

“C’mon, Lexa, we gotta go! Indra’s car is outside!” Anya called to her from downstairs.

“One second! I’m on crutches, remember!” Lexa shouted back.

“Jesus, if you use that excuse one more time I will come up there and _carry_ you down the stairs!”

She quickly wrote out her reply and hobbled down the stairs.

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Thanks, C, that really means a lot. It does suck. A lot. :(

Lexa got in the front seat of what she assumed was Indra’s minibus and strapped herself in. It was Halloween and the soccer team were driving to the Delinquents’ party at Clarke’s house.

“Everyone got their invites?” Niylah asked in the back and a wave of confirmation made its way through the bus.

“By the way, Linc, it was real original having us wear our soccer uniform as costumes…” Lexa jokingly rolled her eyes.

“Nothing better than a group costume, right? Everyone will love it,” he flashed her a toothy smile.

“Does anyone even know who’s gonna be there?” Emori asked.

“The Delinquents and then some I’m guessing. I don’t even know,” Anya shrugged.

“Um, Lexa,” Lincoln got her attention with a more serious tone.

“Yeah, Linc?” She turned to him as best as she could.

“We never really apologised for not supporting you enough when we found out that you couldn’t play anymore. So we just wanted to say that we’re sorry…” he said.

“It’s okay. Really you guys,” she smiled.

“No, it’s not,” Niylah shook her head.

“Yeah, you’re still our captain!” Emori said and Otan cheered.

“Our Commander,” Indra corrected her.

“And we were thinking of ourselves when we should have been thinking about you,” Emori said.

“Yeah. If you feel like Anya and Clarke are the kind of people you can talk to about things first, then we should accept that,” Niylah said.

“Thanks, guys. I’m sorry that I can’t be on the team anymore, and I’m sorry that I inadvertently got Titus suspended,” Lexa looked at their faces.

“Eh, Titus was a bit of a crappy coach anyway,” Anya shrugged, causing the team to laugh.

“Are we here already?” Lexa asked as she recognised the drive up to Clarke’s house.

“Yup,” Indra nodded and shut off the engine once she had parked.

They hopped out of the minibus and walked down the garden to Clarke’s front door. Lexa rung the doorbell, and within seconds it promptly swung open, revealing a very unstable and green Jasper.

“Uh, hi, Jasper. You’re looking… not sober. At 9:15 already?” She asked with a glint of teasing.

“Start the night young, Woods. Invites?” He held out his hand that was already clammy.

Lexa placed her invite in his hand and looked him up and down. “What are you meant to be anyway?”

“I’m Shrek,” he held out his arms so that she could get a better look at his costume. “Monty is Fiona,” he told her.

Lexa laughed and shook her head as she walked inside and took her cleat off.

“Nice creative costume by the way, it’s not like you wear that every week,” Jasper said.

“Group costumes, Shrek,” she smirked and walked into the living room and immediately finding a seat on the couch next to Octavia.

“Hey, Octavia,” she said as she almost fell into the cushions.

“Lexa!” She grinned and turned to find the rest of the team. “Guys!” She got up and greeted each one of them with a hug, except Lincoln who got a peck on the lips. “I told you it would be a great idea to go in the uniform, Linc.”

“Oh, so it was your idea? Lincoln’s been taking all the credit,” Anya said and sauntered off to the kitchen.

Clarke, dressed in a yellow crop top, red suspenders and denim shorts, was by the sink helping herself to a glass of water when Anya came in.

“Hey, Griffin,” Anya greeted her. “Or… Misty?”

“Hey, Anya, you watch Pokemon! At least you got that I’m supposed to be Misty, Octavia didn’t… I’m glad you could make it though. Is the rest of the team here?” Clarke asked, unusually nervous.

“Yup,” Anya nodded. “Woods has dumped herself on the couch where she will most likely stay for the rest of the night.”

Clarke gave an unnatural chuckle.

“You okay, Griffin?” Anya frowned at her.

“Yeah, fine,” Clarke nodded. “Is that vodka?” She looked to Anya’s hand that was clutching a bottle.

“Sure is. My dad loads this stuff to take it to work, he won’t notice if a couple of bottles are missing. Niylah’s got the rest of it.”

“Awesome,” Clarke smiled and took the vodka from Anya. “Mind if I put it with the rest of the drinks?”

“Knock yourself out. Is that Monty’s moonshine?” Anya glanced at a clear liquid in a punch bowl.

“Yeah. There’s enough for like a cup, maybe a cup and a half each. But really all you’ll need is like three sips and it’ll knock you right out,” Clarke said. 

“I’m all for it,” Anya surrendered herself over to the intriguing concoction.

“We’ll start on it at 11. Jasper’s already tipsy but everyone else agrees that we should wait for alcohol until we start playing a game,” Clarke explained.

“A game?” Anya raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, like Never Have I Ever or King’s Cup. Or Operation if Raven’s feeling really competitive,” Clarke waggled her eyebrows.

“I’ll take that bet,” Anya smirked.

“Okay,” Clarke smiled. “Raven!” She called. “I’m going to go tell her about this bet,” she said and walked into the living room.

“Hey, Griff,” Raven, sporting a very well made up Lara Croft outfit, looked up at her from her seat at the coffee table.

“You’ve got an Operation bet,” Clarke said.

“Oh really? Who’s this person wanting to loose?” Raven sniggered.

“Me, Reyes. And I’m gonna kick your ass,” Anya said as she entered the room.

“Huh, okay, okay,” Raven sized up her competition and walked over to her. “Rules are that we can each have three drinks by the time we play, including a cup of Monty’s moonshine. We’ll start at midnight.”

“Alright. What does the loser have to do?” Anya asked.

“Ummm, Clarke should we go with the usual?” Raven turned to her.

“You bet,” Clarke gave a firm nod.

“Okay,” Raven turned back to Anya. “One shot of Monty’s moonshine and then you gotta strip, go outside and dance to _YMCA_.”

Anya gaped at her quickly before nodding. “And the winner?”

“Bragging rights of course.”

“You got yourself a deal, Reyes,” Anya smirked and shook Raven’s hand.

 

Twenty minutes later when the rest of the Delinquents, Maya and Clarke’s neighbour Glass and her boyfriend Luke had arrived, Clarke started on the alcohol.

“Hands up for vodka and coke!” She walked into the living room with a bottle of vodka in one hand and coke in the other.

Almost everyone’s hands shot except Lexa’s and Indra’s.

“Not drinking tonight, Commander?” Jasper asked, causing Clarke to cringe at the nickname.

“Nope, I’m on pain meds still and I also don’t want to make a fool of myself with one good leg,” Lexa said.

“Maybe at New Year’s then,” Jasper shrugged.

“Okay so that’s drinks for 19. I don’t have enough arms though so you’ll all have to come and collect them. Lexa and Indra, did you want a non alcoholic drink?” She asked.

“Sure, I’ll have water, thanks,” Lexa said.

“Same,” said Indra.

When she returned with Lexa’s, Indra’s and her own drink in her hands, the rest of the group shot up to retrieve their drinks and then join Clarke around the coffee table.

“O, you wanna put some music on?” The blonde asked Octavia who was sitting closest to the speaker. 

“Sure,” Octavia nodded and turned around to work Clarke’s iPod.

When she turned back, the intro to _Domino_ by Jessie J started and Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“What? I just put your iPod on shuffle…” Octavia said.

“What game are we playing tonight, Clarkey?” Bellamy asked.

“I don’t know, why don’t you pick?” Clarke sipped at her drink. 

“Ummm… Never Have I Ever?” He suggested and got nods of agreement in reply.

“Remember that this is your first drink, Stone,” Raven said over the top of her cup.

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you how many drinks I’ve had when I’ve destroyed you at Operation,” Anya smirked.

“Raven, you start,” Clarke said.

“Okay, okay. Let’s start simple. Never have I ever… walked in on my parents doing it,” Raven gave a satisfied smile.

“That’s not even fair! You basically have no parents…” Jasper sulked. 

“Well I used to and I never walked in on them doing it. I think I’d be scarred if I had,” she shuddered. “Now shut up and take your drink because we all know you have.”

Jasper sighed and took a sip of his drink.

“Okay, hold up, I’m gonna need back story to this,” Glass said.

“I was 10… it’s not like I done it on purpose. They should have shut their door or gotten me a glass of water _before_ they put me to bed,” he crossed his arms and pouted.

“Oh man, that’s hilarious,” Glass laughed.

“Okay, Monroe, your turn,” Raven turned to the girl sitting next to her who was leaning up against the couch

“Okaaaay… never have I ever… kissed a boy,” she smirked when Clarke, Raven, Octavia, Glass, Harper, Anya, Niylah, Emori, Maya, Miller, Bryan and Monty each took sips of their drinks.

“Never kissed a boy, Lexa?” Bellamy smirked.

“Why, have you? Because if there’s something you’re not telling us…” she retorted, sipping her drink and causing the soccer team, especially Octavia, to laugh.

“It’s your turn, Lexa,” Monroe said when they had calmed down.

“Hm, okay,” Lexa thought for a second. “Never have I ever had sex with a boy.”

“Nice,” Monroe flashed her a toothy smile as they exchanged glances at the sight of Raven, Octavia, Glass, Miller, Byran, Anya and Emori drinking.

“I don’t want to play this game anymore, I don’t want to hear about my little sister doing… stuff,” Bellamy grimaced.

“Sorry, Bell,” Octavia and Lincoln said at the same time, causing him to bury his face in his hands.

“Okay, my go,” Anya said. “Never have I ever had sex with a girl,” she gave a sly smile to Monroe who reluctantly took a sip of her drink, but the smile soon turned into a look of curiosity when she saw Raven take a sip. 

“Raven!” Anya said in surprise.

“What? I didn’t know it counted as sex at the time okay… besides, you didn’t say anything when Clarke didn’t drink at the sex with a boy thing,” Raven shrugged.

“Hey, don’t bring me into this!” Clarke lightly slapped Raven around the head.

“Well you have been with a guy…” Raven muttered.

“It wasn’t sex,” Clarke clarified.

Lexa felt her cheeks burn at the exchange between Clarke and Raven, silently wishing that she were that close and comfortable with Clarke to have playful banter like that with her.

“Indra’s turn!” Lincoln cheered.

“Nope, pass, I’m not playing,” Indra shook her head.

“Okay then, Harper’s turn!”

“Never have I ever wet myself after the age of 10,” Harper said proudly.

The group laughed as Jasper took another drink and sulked, claiming that they were all ganging up on him and that the game was stupid.

 

Midnight rolled around and both Raven and Anya were, well to put it simply, wasted.

Raven almost split her cup of moonshine down Clarke when she got Operation out from the games chest in the corner of the living room. 

“It’s Operation time, bitches,” Anya slurred and she stumbled down to the coffee table, almost tripping over Lexa’s cast. “Woah, watch it, Lex. Wouldn’t wanna break your foot,” she deadpanned before laughing hysterically.

“Okay, so we’re not caring about the doctor cards or anything, we’re just seeing who gets the most bits out of Cavity Sam. You can have 10 attempts at trying to pull out a part before you have to stop and let the other person have a try,” Clarke explained. “Who wants to keep score?”

“I’ll do it!” Wells’s hand shot up as he rushed over to grab a notebook and pen out of the coffee table drawer.

“Okay, flip a coin and see who goes first. You got a coin?” Clarke asked him.

“Yup,” he nodded and got a quarter out of his back pocket. “Call it in the air,” he told Raven and Anya.

“Heads!” Raven shouted as Wells flipped the coin.

“Ooh, sorry, Ray, it’s tails,” Wells said. “Anya’s going first.”

“Yes! Okay I am going to choose the funny bone because I am just so funny,” Anya rubbed her hands together and picked up the tweezers.

“No fair! That’s the easiest one,” Raven moaned.

“Suck it, Reyes!” Anya picked up the tweezers and immediately hit the metal around the funny bone.

“That’s one,” Wells smirked as he tallied Anya.

“Shit,” Anya hit the board causing Cavity Sam to buzz again.

“Two already, ha ha,” Raven mocked her.

Anya furrowed her brow in concentration and gripped the tweezers hard. The buzzer went off three more times before she finally got the funny bone out of Cavity Sam. 

“Yes!” She clapped and dropped the piece down next to her.

“Okay, well I think I should be pretty good at this since I’m a mechanic,” Raven cracked her knuckles.

“You’re not a mechanic yet, Raven,” Octavia said from where she was sitting on Lincoln’s lap next to Lexa. 

“Then this is just my practice,” she waggled her eyebrows and picked up a rubber band. “I’m doing the ankle bone to the knee bone.” 

Even though Raven was well and truly drunk, her coordination whilst she was sat down was surprisingly good and she managed to get the rubber band in with just three buzzes.

45 minutes later there was only the broken heart and Adam’s apple left, and Anya was working her third round of trying to get the broken heart out. 

“Dammit, why can’t we just leave him sad and lonely forever?” She growled as she shoved the tweezers into Raven’s hand. 

“Because he’ll die of a broken heart,” Miller told her as he sat beside her trying to give her moral support.

Raven decided to go for the stalk of the Adam’s apple, making Cavity Sam buzz six times according to Wells before pulling it out.

“Oh yeah, baby! That’s how it’s done!” She stumbled to her feet and get a celebratory dance the best that she could drunk with her leg in a brace.

“Okay, Anya, if you get this one then it’s tied,” Clarke said.

“What happens if we tie?” Anya asked.

Clarke shrugged. “Nothing I guess. Just means neither of you can brag but also you won’t have to strip,” she winked.

“Why? Want a free show, Griff?” Anya asked as she concentrated on trying to pull out the broken heart again.

“Anya-“ Wells said.

“Wait,” she snapped.

“Anya!” Wells tried to catch her attention again but her foggy brain was too caught up in what her hands were doing.

“Wait, Wells! I’m almost done!”

“Anya, you’ve done way more than ten buzzes! It’s Raven’s turn,” Wells said.

“Whatever,” Anya sighed and gave the tweezers to Raven.

“C’mon, Raven,” Byran said from next to her.

“I can do this,” Raven said after the fourth buzz.

On the seventh buzz she picked the tweezers up completely and pinched them together, going back into the game to knock the broken heart completely out of the way and clear from the metal. 

On the eighth buzz she had one side of the tweezers lodged in the heart and the other on the side.

On the ninth buzz, she quickly pulled it out and got up on her feet to scream her victory.

“I won! I won, I won, I won!” Raven cheered.

“Well done, Ray,” Clarke patted her on the back.

“Let me go and get your shot, loser,” Raven said to Anya who sat with her mouth hanging open in disbelief.

Anya got up on unsteady legs and walked to the kitchen to find Raven pouring Monty’s moonshine into a shot glass.

“So how does this work?” She asked bluntly to Clarke and Raven.

“You take a shot, you strip quickly, you go out in the street and dance to _YMCA_ which we’ll be playing for you,” Raven said and made her way out in the hall to the front door.

“Anyone who wants to see Anya dance naked to _YMCA_ , please come to the front door now!” A drunken Clarke announced.

“I gotta see this,” Lexa said to Octavia and Lincoln and grabbed her crutches. 

Clarke opened the front door to meet the cold night breeze.

“You ready, Clarke?” Raven asked her. 

“Spotify is a go,” Clarke nodded.

“Alright, Stone, off you go,” Raven handed Anya the shot glass.

Clarke began to play _YMCA_ as loud as her iPod would let her, and Anya took the shot, throwing her head back as the liquid made its way down her throat and she cringed at the taste, jumping up and down to try and get rid of it.

“Now strip,” Raven grinned.

Anya shed her soccer gear as fast as she could, leaving her in just her underwear.

“Can I keep my socks on?” She asked Raven.

“Since it’s cold out, I will make an exception. Wouldn’t want you to get hypothermia,” Raven winked and pointed at her bra and panties. “But these have gotta go.”

Anya looked Raven straight in the eye as she took undone her bra strap and let it fall to the floor, and then pulled her panties down. From somewhere behind Raven she heard a wolf whistle, probably from Emori, and she stepped out into the dark street and began to awkwardly dance and stumble around.

“Oh my god,” Lexa laughed, wishing that she were able to film what was happening but knew full well that Anya would just about kill her.

“My moms probably going to see her from across the street,” Glass was doubled over from laughing so hard. 

“Everyone’s probably going to see her,” Monroe wiped a tear away from her eye that had gotten there from laughing.

When it got to the chorus of the song, the group were laughing so hard and they saw one of the neighbours flick their bedroom lights on.

“Shit, Anya, come in,” Clarke hurried the naked girl inside in between fits of laughter.

“Why, what happened? Not liking the show, Griffin?” Anya slurred.

“I think we woke the neighbours up,” Clarke told her through a grin. 

“I hope they liked what they saw then,” Anya smirked. “Can I put my clothes back on now? It’s fucking freezing.”

“Yeah, they’re on the heater. I think Indra moved them there,” Clarke said as the group calmed themselves down.

Anya walked over and put her clothes back on, collapsing on the couch and bursting into a fit of drunken giggles at the realisation of what she just done. She was going to have a shock when she remembered in the morning.

 

“Octavia!” Clarke grinned as she staggered over to the brunette in the kitchen at 2am. 

“Clarke!” Octavia seemed just as excited to see the blonde.

“Are you having a good time?” Clarke asked, suddenly aware that she was the hostess.

“I am having the best time,” Octavia said dreamily as she took a sip of her drink.

“Do you think everyone else is having a good time?” Clarke asked again.

“Yes,” Octavia nodded confidently.

“Even Lexa?” Clarke eyes turned wide with affection. “She’s not drinking tonight and she’s injured. She’s like a poor injured puppy and I can’t do anything to help her.”

“Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, you’re slurring. I think she’s having a wonderful time,” Octavia put her hands on Clarke’s shoulders, doing her best to calm her down.

“I like her, O,” Clarke admitted.

“I know,” Octavia smiled.

“Do you think she likes me?”

“Oh my god, you’re so high school!” Octavia threw her head back laughing.

“But I am in high school! I’m a senior!” Clarke told her as if it was brand new valuable information.

“Be college and ask her,” Octavia pushed her towards the living room.

“Wait! But she does like me!” Clarke grinned. 

“Huh?” Octavia scrunched her nose.

“Don’t look so offended, O. She told me on Tumblr that she had a little crush on the girl she was partnered with on a school project. But what if she doesn’t like me like that anymore?” Clarke explained.

“Go and ask her!” Octavia told her again with a push.

“Fine, fine,” Clarke waved her off and walked into the hall. 

She kept her eyes on the floor, watching her feet take one step at a time until she bumped into Niylah standing outside the door to the living room. 

“Hey, Clarke,” she smiled slowly.

“Hi, Niylah,” Clarke rubbed the back of her neck. “Are you having a good time?”

“I’m having a wonderful time, Clarke. You’re such a good host,” Niylah’s smile turned into her biting her lip and she stepped forward into Clarke.

“Thanks,” Clarke’s reply came out a little breathy, the mixture of alcohol and another body being so close to her definitely having an affect.

“Have I ever told you that you’re really pretty?” Niylah asked bashfully.

“No…” the compliment made Clarke almost forget why she came to the living room in the first place.

“You’re really pretty, Clarke,” Niylah flashed her a flirtatious smile.

“You’re pretty too,” Clarke looked briefly at Niylah’s lips that seemed to be constantly moving. 

Clarke was momentarily completely oblivious to Niylah trying to make a move on her, too caught up in her own hazy mind to process the other girl tilting her head and moving in closer…

 

“Oh my god,” Clarke groaned.

She opened her eyes and adjusted to her surroundings. Her living room. More specifically, her living room floor. She sat up and saw Octavia and Raven sitting on the couch.

“Morning, princess,” Raven said.

“Ray? What time is it?” Clarke asked.

“5:30,” Octavia said.

“5:30?” Clarke repeated. “Shit! My mom’s gonna be home soon!” She was suddenly completely alert and looked around at the cups lying around on various countertops.

“Clarke, do you remember what happened a few hours ago?” Octavia frowned.

“Um…” Clarke wracked her brain. “Niylah?” Clarke grimaced.

Octavia made a noise of confirmation. “And?”

“Shit,” Clarke buried her face in her hands.

“Shit what? I didn’t know there was a two-parter to this story…” Raven shot up.

“Lexa…” the blonde winced.

“Lexa?” Raven asked.

“She kissed me…” the blonde winced.

“Who, Lexa?” Raven looked between Clarke and Octavia.

“No, Niylah,” Clarke sighed as she got up to get a trash bag. “Do you guys mind helping me get rid of all of this before my mom comes home?”

“Sure. So explain to me what happened again?” Raven said as she moved to pick up cups and put them into the trash bag that Clarke was holding open.

“I’m assuming you haven’t told Lexa that it’s you on Tumblr,” Octavia called from the kitchen as she wiped down the countertop.

“Oh my god, will someone please tell me what’s going on here!” Raven almost shouted.

_Niylah pressed her lips against Clarke’s, sighing into her as she relaxed._

_Clarke froze. This was not supposed to happen._

_She pulled back quickly, stumbling into someone behind her._

_“Clarke?” She heard Octavia’s shocked voice from behind her._

_Clarke widened her eyes at Niylah, who looked just as shocked at being rejected._

_“Sorry, Clarke. I-I thought you liked me… I got mixed up, I’m sorry,” Niylah stuttered over her words as she tried to get them out._

_Clarke’s eyes wandered behind Niylah, where she saw Lexa staring at her as she rested herself on her crutches. Clarke realised that she must have been about to walk out of the living room when she saw the exchange between the girl she liked and her teammate._

_Lexa forced a small smile on her face and went to sit back down next to Anya before Clarke could say anything._

“I can’t believe she saw…” Clarke groaned.

“I’m still not 100% sure on what is going on here…” Raven said.

“You know when you asked me if I’m gay at the beginning of the semester?” Clarke reminded her. 

“Yup.”

“It was Lexa on Tumblr that I was talking to, but I didn’t know it at the time,” Clarke explained.

“Does she know it’s you that she’s been talking to?” Raven asked. 

“No, she doesn’t know. But she’s told me on there that she has a crush on me,” Clarke sighed.

“But you kissed Niylah…” Raven put the pieces of the story together, finally coming to an understanding.

“She kissed me,” Clarke said firmly.

“Girl, you are in some shit,” Raven told her as they finished putting all the trash in the trash bag.

“I know,” Clarke sighed. “I’ve gotta take this outside and then vacuum before my mom gets home. Do you two mind taking the rest of the alcohol and soda to my room so that she doesn’t see?”

“Sure. Put it in your closet?” Raven asked as she picked up the remainder of the drinks.

“As always,” Clarke nodded.

“Did you want me to wash up the punch bowl quickly?” Octavia asked.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks, O!” Clarke said as she took the trash out.

 

The three of them finally settled down into Clarke’s room and put their pajamas on so that Abby would just think they had a regular Halloween sleepover when she came in 15 minutes later.

Clarke opened her Facebook messenger app on her phone, deciding to send Lexa a quick message.

 **Clarke Griffin:**

hey lexa, i hope you enjoyed the party. i just feel the need to apologise for what happened between me and niylah, i didn’t realise she was flirting w/ me or anything and she just sorta kissed me

She put her phone on her bedside table and got under her covers, ready to sleep for another few hours before her hangover would really hit.

A few hours later, whilst she was fast asleep, she got a reply from Lexa.

**Lexa Woods:**

It’s okay Clarke, I saw what happened, you don’t need to explain yourself. And I had a great time, thanks for inviting me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone read the 100 books? i've almost finished homecoming and love glass and luke so i decided to add them in


	14. Girls Like Girls?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa face each other in school after the Halloween party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so short! sorry about that, it's just a little filler to get to the next part of the plot

_Lexa watched as Niylah leaned into Clarke, her lips, her undeserving lips, kissing Clarke’s full ones._

_When Clarke pulled away, Lexa released a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. Clarke didn’t want this. But did that mean she wasn’t interested in girls? Or just Niylah? The blonde’s eyes found her own and before she knew it she was fleeing. Just like see always does – runs away when things get tough. Tia helped her with that, but she was gone, and Lexa felt as if she had no one._

_“When are we leaving?” She asked as she sat herself next to Anya._

“Lexa?”

_“They’re kicking us out in an hour,” Anya squinted at the clock mounted on the living room wall. “Why, bored yet?”_

“Lexa!”

_“No, no, I was just wondering,” Lexa shook her off, trying to act as casual as possible._

“Lex-!”

“What, what?” Lexa was pulled back into the present by Aden’s voice sitting opposite her as she ate her cereal.

“You were daydreaming again. I asked you what you wanted for your 18th birthday. It’s in two weeks!” Aden said. 

“Oh, there’s nothing that I really want,” Lexa shrugged.

“You say that every year,” Aden rolled his eyes.

“I could do with some more guitar strings,” she told him simply.

“Got it,” he nodded and got down from the table. “I’m off to school, good luck with your appointment today!”

“Thanks, Ade,” she smiled.

Lexa was getting her cast off to check how her toe was healing from where it was put back together and stitched up, and to tell the truth, she’d much rather think about her message from Clarke after the party.

She’d woken up to a Facebook messenger notification from the girl and smiled when she read that Clarke was obviously not into Niylah. Besides, she was drunk; she couldn’t blame the girl for not realising Niylah’s behaviour. Lexa, however, had a bone to pick with Niylah for the same reason. Clarke was drunk. She didn’t and couldn’t have known what she was doing.

All of a sudden, a shrill voice from the bottom of the stairs was calling for Lexa.

“Alexandria Woods!” She heard her mother shout.

Lexa cringed; that tone could only mean that she was in trouble.

“Yes, mom?” She tried to sound as innocent as possible, her brain quickly wracking through all the wrong things she done in her life that her mother could have remembered. 

“What is this?” Luna appeared in the doorway, holding the _Much Ado About Nothing_ script in her hand. 

“A play…” Lexa said, realising that she hadn’t told her mother about getting the role of Beatrice.

“Why do you have it?” Luna put her hands on her hips.

“Um… I got the role of Beatrice,” Lexa winced, expecting her mother to shout at her.

Instead, Luna tutted, sighed and sat opposite Lexa.

“Lexa, darling, you can’t possibly still be going through with this?”

“Yes, mom, I am!” Lexa’s eyes filled with rage at the lack of support.

“You have a broken foot, Lexa. And you’ve got tests and projects _and_ you need to be applying to colleges. It’s November already,” Luna looked sympathetically at Lexa.

“And I’m in the music show next month,” Lexa told her.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” Luna demanded.

“Because I know how unsupportive you’d be! I’m doing all of this _because_ my foot is broken. I don’t have soccer anymore so I don’t just want to mope around and do school work for the next few months!” Lexa said. “At least I’m showing colleges how involved I am by doing the show and the play,” she added. 

“You’re right,” Luna said. “You can’t just sit around and do school work forever, you need to keep yourself busy. _And_ it will look good on college applications, you’re right. But I expect your grades to still be up at the top of the class.”

“I know, mom. Thank you,” Lexa held back a smile as she continued to eat her cereal.

“Now hurry up and eat, your appointment is in an hour,” Luna said as she gave the script back to Lexa.

 

“Okay, Lexa, everything looks good,” the nurse said as she examined Lexa’s toe and stitches. “You are incredibly lucky that you don’t have an infection. All there is left to do is to put another cast on and let your foot heal itself.” 

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled weakly.

“Would you like the same color cast or a different one this time?”

“Can I get a green one?” Lexa asked.

“We have lime green, is that okay?” The nurse showed Lexa a sample of the color. 

Lexa nodded and prepared to let the nurse re-bandage her foot, hoping she’d be as gentle as she could and not fumble around.

Twenty minutes later, Lexa had a new bright green cast on, practically begging for signatures and doodles to be drawn over it. She hopped down from the hospital bed and grabbed her crutches, which she was slowly becoming more and more confident on.

“Okay, Lexa, you’re all set. Come back in a month to get the cast changed and we can have a look at how you’re healing again, and then hopefully by the end of December we can have it off and you getting back to normal,” the nurse smiled as she showed them out.

“Thanks so much for everything,” Luna said to the nurse as she held the door open for Lexa.

“It’s only 11, I might as well go into school,” Lexa said.

“Are you sure? I told Principal Jaha that you’d be off all day but you can go in if you want,” Luna said as they walked to the car.

“If I was at home all I’d be doing is homework, so I might as well not miss anymore and have to catch up on it,” Lexa said. 

“Okay, I’ll drive you to school then,” Luna nodded in agreement.

 

“Hey,” Indra greeted Lexa as the brunette sat down in biology.

“Hi,” Lexa said, getting her books out of her bag.

“I thought you weren’t meant to be in until tomorrow?” Indra asked.

“Yeah well I didn’t just wanna sit at home and miss all the work that I’d have to catch up on.”

“Fair enough, Pike’s about to start,” Indra told her.

As if on cue, Pike began to talk to the class.

“Okay everyone, I have your grades back from the presentations last month. Once I do registration you need to all sit next to your partners so that you can read through your feedback together,” Pike said and turned to sign the class in. 

5 minutes later, Clarke was moving to sit at the front next to Lexa.

“Hi,” she smiled awkward at the brunette.

Lexa only had time to smile quickly at Clarke before Pike started to hand out their feedback sheets, which Clarke immediately looked at.

“Nice, we got an A minus!” She grinned, turning to Lexa and high fiving her.

Lexa couldn’t help but grin back, finding Clarke’s smile to be contagious.

“ _You_ got an A minus. You done most of the work, Clarke,” Lexa told her, still smiling.

“You helped me through most of though. We did it. We’re a team!” Clarke looked Lexa in the eye, the awkwardness from a minute ago forgotten.

“A great team,” Lexa agreed sincerely.

The mood of the conversation suddenly changed, and both girls were left silently thinking about the Halloween party.

“Listen, Lexa,” Clarke began, pulling the girl out of her thoughts. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what happened between Niylah and me. I know I already told you on Facebook but I didn’t want that to seem half hearted, and it’s obviously still a weird thing between us. We were both drunk and I didn’t actually realise that she was coming on to me…”

“It’s okay, Clarke. Niylah shouldn’t have done it; it was unfair on you. It’s not like you need to apologise to me though, or anyone for that matter,” Lexa said seriously before adding with a chuckle, “it’s not like we’re dating.”

“You’re right…” Clarke said, a sinking feeling rushed through her body. 

She looked around for a second, letting Lexa’s words sink in before spotting the brunette’s bright green cast.

“Hey, you got the new cast!” Clarke exclaimed.

“Oh, yeah,” Lexa nodded. “Completely clean, waiting for kids to draw all over it,” she chuckled. “Why, you wanna be the first?” 

“Sure,” Clarke said and Lexa handed her a marker.

Clarke ducked under the table quickly when Pike was occupied with another student, and she quickly doodled a tree on Lexa’s ankle. She hopped back into her seat with a grin as Lexa inspected the drawing.

“A tree?” Lexa asked, confused.

“Because the cast is green,” Clarke said simply. _Not because your eyes are._

“Lime green,” Lexa laughed.

“So it’s a lime tree then,” Clarke smiled at the girl’s laughter.

“Do limes grow on trees?” Lexa asked.

“Beats me,” Clarke shrugged.

 

Niylah sat down opposite Lexa at the lunch table, where she was met with a glare. 

“What’s up, Lexa?” She asked, completely blanking on anything that she could have done wrong.

“You shouldn’t have kissed Clarke at the party,” Lexa said bluntly.

“I know, I’m sorry. I feel shitty about it. I sent Clarke a message yesterday apologising for it because it was totally out of line,” Niylah explained.

“Ooft, what’d’you say?” Anya asked from beside Lexa.

“I just said that I was sorry and that it was wrong because we were both drunk. She said it was okay and that it just took her by surprise a bit. And then she told me that she doesn’t like me in that way but we can be friends,” Niylah sounded deflated.

“Aw man, sorry, Niy. Does this mean your crush on Clarke is over?” Anya asked. 

“I dunno. Probably,” Niylah shrugged and began to eat her lunch. “So, Lex, you excited for your birthday?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this is kinda crap, i feel like i lost my mojo a lil bit with this chapter, but like i said, it's just a little filler  
> i'm going to be on holiday for a week starting today and there's no wifi where i'm staying, and then almost straight after i get back i'll be starting my last year of college before uni, so there might not be any updates for 2/3 weeks. hopefully i can get a chapter written on holiday tho and then i can update as soon as i get back


	15. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa turns 18.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am the worst ever at updating and i apologise x1000

“Lexa, Lexa, wake up,” a faint voice called.

Lexa groaned as she was pulled from her slumber to a harsh light coming from her bedroom window.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” She heard Aden shout before her eyes focused on him.

“Thanks, Aden, but you really didn’t need to wake me up,” she gave him a lopsided smile.

“But I did! I have your present,” he grinned.

“That’s sweet,” Lexa smiled as she sat up.

“You have to come downstairs to have it though,” Aden said and scampered out of the room.

Lexa made her way downstairs 15 minutes later to a vase of colorful flowers, three packs of guitar strings next to it and eggs on toast.

“Thanks, Aden,” she pulled the smaller boy into a hug and smelled her flowers. “These smell wonderful.”

“Thought you’d like them,” he said confidently.

“These are so pretty,” Lexa said as she pointed to the flowers before sitting down in front of her breakfast and taking a bite. “And these are so good,” she moaned.

“Alexandria, happy birthday,” Luna entered the room and gave her daughter a hug as best she could whilst Lexa was sat down.

“Thanks, mom,” she said with a mouthful of food.

“Aden, could you do me a favour and get Lexa’s present please?” His mother asked.

“Sure,” he left the room and came back later with the largest present Lexa had ever seen.

“Oh wow,” was all she could say. 

“Put it on the table, Aden,” Luna directed him.

Lexa pushed her eggs out of the way to make room for the present that she tore open. Inside was a hard, black guitar case, which made her stop as she took a breath.

“Mom…” she said.

“Open it,” Luna urged gently with a smile.

Lexa snapped open the case to reveal a beautiful guitar, the fresh wood having natural swirls and patterns underneath the glaze that made it incredibly shiny. Lexa didn’t dare touch it in case she ruined the pristine glow it held.

“Thank you so much,” she whispered.

“Do you like it?” Aden asked.

“Of course I like it!” Lexa laughed in amazement. “I love it! Is this why you got three sets of guitar strings?”

Aden laughed with her. “Yeah, one for the guitar you’ve already got, one for this guitar, and one just as a spare." 

“Thanks, guys,” Lexa looked up at her little brother and mom who where watching her with adoration.

 

“Hey, birthday girl!” Lincoln cheered when Lexa walked past him on the way to homeroom that morning.

“Hey, Linc,” she smiled shyly.

“The team have told me to tell you to go to the locker room at lunch,” Lincoln instructed. 

“I’ve got gym after lunch anyway so that works,” Lexa smiled as she thought about what her friends had got planned for her.

“But your foot’s broken…” Lincoln looked down to her cast.

“They still make me go to the class I just have to sit out. It’s kind of lame,” Lexa sighed.

“That is lame,” Lincoln agreed.

“Yeah, but it means that I get a head start on other work whilst everyone else has to run track for an hour,” she shrugged, forcing herself to see the bright side of having a broken bone.

“Okay, that makes a little better. I gotta get to homeroom, but I’ll see you later then,” he smirked and walked away.

“See you,” Lexa said as she watched him retreat.

 

Lexa sat down in her usual seat at the back of homeroom and pulled out the script for _Much Ado About Nothing_. She was mostly caught up with her homework and needing something that wasn’t so painfully boring that could occupy her for the next 20 minutes.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she heard a throat clear in front of her desk. She looked up to see familiar blonde hair and blue eyes smiling down at her. 

“Clarke?” She frowned, wondering why she wasn’t sitting with her friends who were laughing at something Jasper and Raven were doing at the front of the room.

“Happy birthday!” Clarke beamed.

“What?” Lexa asked in bewilderment.

“It’s your birthday right? November 16th?” Clarke asked as her mind began to backtrack. 

“Right, yeah. It’s just… I didn’t expect anyone apart from the team to pay attention to it,” Lexa said honestly.

Clarke looked momentarily sad and had to shake herself inwardly as she composed herself. “Well get used to it because we’re friends now! Right?” She said with, for the most part, confidence – her voice only showing signs of insecurity on the last word.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Lexa nodded almost furiously.

“Oh, I got you a gift too,” Clarke gave a closed-mouth smile and reached in her bag for a messily wrapped rectangular present. 

“Wow, um, thanks. Thanks, Clarke,” Lexa looked up sincerely at the girl as she accepted the gift.

She looked down at the messy wrapping paper and chuckled. “Soccer ball wrapping paper?”

“Yeah, I realise now that’s probably not the best choice with your leg and all…” Clarke cringed.

“No, it’s great! It’s very… you,” Lexa smirked.

“Okay, you haven’t even opened it yet!” Clarke said, urging her on.

Lexa tore into the paper, the present revealing itself to be a tattered book. She read the front cover and smiled fondly. _The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde._

“It’s probably not the best present ever and it’s really worn and smells like old people and the pages are kind of yellow, but Octavia and I were in an old book shop and I saw this and I just had to get it. It reminded me of you,” Clarke rambled.

“It’s perfect. It’s really thoughtful…” Lexa was speechless, so taken aback by the significance of the gift.

“Open it,” Clarke said.

Lexa opened the front page to find a note from Clarke on the inside cover accompanied by a doodle of Lexa playing soccer.

_Lexa,_

_Happy 18 th birthday. I hope you enjoy this stranger’s thoughts about Jack and Gwendolen as much as I enjoyed yours._

_Clarke_

_x x x_

Lexa flicked through the delicate pages and sure enough found scribbles dotted around the pages – some that must have been from 50 years ago and some that must have been fresh.

“I wrote some of my own thoughts in there, some in response to the other person’s and some that are just my own,” Clarke shrugged, seeming a little insecure about the present. 

“Clarke, this is probably one of the most thoughtful presents I’ve ever gotten,” Lexa told her.

“I don’t know…” Clarke began before Lexa interrupted her.

“Are you kidding? I know it was just a drama class, but Oscar Wilde is practically how we met! I love it,” Lexa reassured her.

“Okay, good,” Clarke’s smile was back. “I’m gonna go sit with those guys now,” she pointed to her friends, “but I’ll see you later or something.”

“Yeah, see you later,” Lexa smiled.

She watched as Clarke retreated back to her seat and admired the way her shoulders shaked and she threw her head back as she laughed, so caught up in the moment of being right there, in high school, having fun with her friends.

 

Since all of her friends were setting up whatever surprise they had in store for Lexa, the brunette found herself without anyone to sit with at lunch. She grabbed a sandwich from the counter and decided to make her way to the library and get a head start on the test she knew that was coming up in Chemistry next week.

Keeping her head down, she attempted to leave the lunchroom in without anybody noticing her, but failed.

“Lexa!” She heard a voice call her.

She looked around at the source of the voice and found Clarke waving her over.

Deciding against pretending that she hadn’t seen the blonde, she made her way over, bracing herself for the interaction with the group.

“Hey, Lexa. Wanna sit with us? We know all your friends are out since O’s not with us,” Clarke smiled and nodded to the empty seat next to her.

“Um. Yeah, sure. Thanks,” Lexa avoided eye contact with her and slipped into the chair, pulling out her sandwich quickly and digging in.

“So, Lexa,” Jasper began, making Clarke groan. She knew whatever the boy had to say it wasn’t going to be good. “How is it not being able to play soccer?”

Lexa shrugged. “It sucks but I’m getting used to it.”  
  
“Not ruined your popularity or anything?” Jasper asked. 

“Japser-!” Clarke shot him a look.

“It’s fine, Clarke,” Lexa reassured her. “I wouldn’t have said that I’m very popular in the first place. Sure, everyone knows me, but I prefer to keep my head down. I’m not really very approachable,” she mused. 

“What! Sure you are, Woods!” Raven spoke up. “Your smart, you play soccer like a pro and you can play guitar. You’re the whole package!”

“Well I can’t really play soccer anymore,” Lexa said drearily as her foot began to fidget.

“Maybe not, but at least we match now,” Raven said as she stuck out her injured leg so that Lexa could see.

“I swear though if anything like that happens to Octavia…” Bellamy started.

“Oh, give it a rest, Bell. Octavia’s a big girl, she can handle herself!” Clarke rolled her eyes at the curly haired boy who sat back in a sulk.

“Yeah!” Raven grinned and leaned over to high five Clarke.

Lexa let out a small chuckle at the interaction and continued to eat her sandwich. 

She wasn’t sure how time had passed so quickly watching the Delinquent’s conversation, but all of a sudden she was rushing to meet the soccer team before the rest of her gym class poured into the locker room.

“Crap, I’m meant to be meeting the team now,” Lexa said as she quickly gathered her back and stood up on her crutches.

“Alright. We had fun today though, you should sit with us again!” Clarke once again smiled.

 _I barely said anything though._ Lexa thought.

“Sure,” Lexa said.

A chorus of “see ya, Woods” sung throughout the table and soon enough she was making her way to the locker room, preparing herself for after the surprise when she’d have an hour of sitting on the sidelines reading a textbook.

She opened the door and shuffled inside the best she could whilst on crutches and was immediately met by Niylah.

“Hey, Niy,” she said a little taken aback. She knew the team was in the room but she didn’t realise how eager they’d be.

“Hey, Lex! C’mon!” Niylah grinned and gently tugged on Lexa’s arm.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COMMANDER!” The team shouted as she came into their view.

Lexa, not expecting such a warm welcome, jumped at the voices. The look of surprise on her face was quickly replaced with a grin.

“Thanks guys!” Was all she was able to say.

She spotted Anya amongst her friends sporting a smile and holding a tin. “We were going to have a banner but we weren’t allowed to put anything up,” she said, opening the tin to reveal brownies that made Lexa drool just by looking at them.

“Oh my god, they look great. Who made them?” Lexa eyed the food up as she walked over to them and took one.

“Well, we want to say all of us, but it was basically all Indra,” Anya said.

“Yeah, all they done was mess up my kitchen,” Indra said with a faux roll of her eyes. 

Lexa took a bite out of the brownie and moaned her satisfaction. “Indra, these are amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

“My grandmother,” Indra shrugged.

“Tell her I said thank you,” Lexa said as she took another bite out of her brownie and proceeded to try and hug Indra on crutches.

“This wasn’t the surprise though,” Octavia reminded her.

“Right,” Lincoln said and turned to Emori who was sitting on the bench. “Emori?”

Emori got up to make the announcement. “You’ve got fancy clothes right, Lexa?”

“Um, I have some nice dresses if that’s what you mean?” Lexa said.

“Yeah that’ll do, because tonight we have a table at Lucarne Paris,” Emori smirked.

“What?” Lexa’s head snapped around to look at all her teammates who all wore the same smirk. “What?”

“I know you haven’t said anything about wanting to check it out since it opened last year, but I’ve seen you eyeing up Instagrams of the food there. We wanted to treat you to something, you’ve been such a great captain to us,” Anya explained.

“But it’s expensive. Guys, it’s a fancy French restaurant; you know that right? We can go to Burger King if you want, I’m sure it’ll be just as good…” Lexa said as she tried to comprehend the kindness.

“Don’t worry about it, Lex. I will pick you up at 6:45 and our reservation is at 7. Can you be ready by then?” Anya said.

“Yeah. Thank you so much guys,” Lexa said with all the sincerity she could muster.

“No problem, Commander,” Anya said, giving her a hug.

 

“Hey, Aden, can you zip me up please?” Lexa asked as she hovered in the doorway to his room.

“Sure,” the younger boy nodded and zipped the back of Lexa’s dress. “You look great, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Lexa blushed. 

She was wearing a deep blue wavy dress that ended just above her knees, with her cast on the left foot and blue slip on shoe on the right. Her brown hair was done up in a loose bun, with blue studded earrings in her lobes.

“How’s things with Charlotte?” She asked.

“They’re good,” Aden nodded with a shy smile tugging on his lips.

A car beeped from outside, interrupting their conversation, and Lexa new it was Anya there to pick her up.

“Do you mind grabbing my purse from my room please?” Lexa asked her little brother as she went to make her way down the stairs. “It’s the-“

“Blue one, yeah got it,” Aden smiled and went to get it for her.

Lexa opened the door and found Anya in a red dress waiting in outside the passenger’s side of the car.

“Hey, Anya!” She called.

“Wow, you look great,” Anya said as she walked up to Lexa’s front door.

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled. “So do you.”

“Hi, Anya,” Aden greeted the girl as he came down the stairs with Lexa’s purse.

“Hey, Aden. That for me?” She pointed to the purse.

“It’s Lexa’s,” Aden said and handed it to her to carry for Lexa. “See you later, Lex!” He said and made his way into the living room.

“Ready?” Anya asked.

“Ready,” Lexa nodded.

 

They arrived at the restaurant promptly, and Lexa found all her friends sitting around a large round table. Water and baguettes cut in half had already been served, and candles complemented the dimmed lighting of the prestige restaurant. 

“Lexa!” Octavia waved when she spotted her. 

“Hi, guys,” Lexa beamed when she got to her seat and sat down. “Thank you so much for doing this.” 

“Our pleasure,” Lincoln smiled sincerely. “You look beautiful by the way.”

“Thanks, Linc. As do you,” Lexa said, sounding the most chipper and upbeat she had since breaking her foot.

Emori cleared her throat from her chair and looked around the room non-chalantly.

“You look beautiful too, Emori,” Lexa jokingly rolled her eyes and reached for her water the group had ordered for her before she arrived. “You all look great,” she said and took a sip from the glass.

“So are we doing the present before or after we eat?” Niylah asked.

“You guys! You didn’t have to get me anything else!” Lexa exclaimed.

“We can do it now,” Anya shrugged. “Indra, you got it?”

“Yep,” Indra nodded and pulled out a envelope from her bag.

“We wanted to get you something that you could actually use instead of just a dinner,” Anya explained.

Indra handed over the envelope to Lexa who carefully tore it open. Inside was an 18th birthday card that she opened to find a credit card size card slip out. She picked it up and read it with a gasp.

“Guys!” She looked at them in disbelief. “This is too much money!”

“It’s fine, we all pitched in,” Anya told her.

Lexa looked at the paper again and read it over.

**recordPolis**

_Gift card amount: £50_

“I used to love the record shop,” Lexa smiled with fond memories of going in there with Anya after school every day in middle school and browsing the vinyls and CDs for hours.

“Thought you’d like to go again one day. Who knows, maybe they’ll have a record player on sale,” Anya shrugged. 

Lexa smiled as she picked up the card all her friends had signed and thanked them all.

“We knew you’d probably just throw away the cards if we all got individual ones so we just decided to sign one. Plus it won’t clutter up your bedroom or whatever,” Niylah said.

“It’s great, it’s definitely one I’ll be keeping,” Lexa laughed.

 

An hour later the team were trying to get Lexa to try a snail.

“It just looks disgusting, guys,” Lexa frowned at the snail presented in front of her.

“If you don’t wanna try it then don’t try it. But also, please try it,” Octavia tried to stifle her laughter upon seeing Lexa’s upturned nose.

“I’ll have it!” Emori piped up for the fifth time that night.

“Okay. Lex, give the snail to Emori. She wants her, what is it, seventh one, if you’re not going to try your first,” Lincoln tried to wind Lexa up into putting the unfamiliar animal in her mouth.

Lincoln leaned over to try to take the snail away from Lexa and pass it to Emori when she finally spoke up.

“Fine, I’ll do it. But only so that I can say I’ve tried it. This is a French restaurant after all,” she gave in.

The group cheered as she stabbed the snail with her fork and shoved it into her mouth as quick as possible, her whole face grimacing at the new flavours and textures. She chewed as fast as she could, gulping loudly and immediately reaching for her water to wash it down.

“Now you can say that you actually took part in the French dining experience instead of just having a burger and some fries!” Anya congratulated her. 

“Yeah, thanks, Anya,” Lexa murmured after she finished the last of her water.

“Are we all done here?” Their waiter asked everyone was leaning back in their chairs, stuffed with food.

“Yeah, I’m done if you guys are?” Lexa looked around the table and saw her teammates nodding back at her.

“Okay, I’ll take your plates for you,” the waiter said, making multiple trips to collect all the dirtied plates.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m stuffed,” Lexa stretched in her seat.

“Too stuffed for dessert?” Indra asked her.

Lexa thought about it before shaking her head. “Nah, I think there’s still some room.”

“Good. Because look,” Indra said and pointed to the doors to the kitchen where three waiters were carrying a cake with a single candle in the middle.

They began to sing Lexa a happy birthday as they got closer to the table, and the team joined in. Smiles were plastered on all their faces as they watch Lexa take in the simple chocolate cake presented to her. She blew out the candle when the singing stopped and once again beamed at her friends. 

“You remembered that I don’t like birthday cake!” She exclaimed in a mock surprise as the cake was served.

 

Lexa was lying on her bed in her dimly lit room as she flicked through the book Clarke had given her earlier. She smiled softly to herself at the doodle Clarke had drawn at the beginning of the book, and read the stranger’s notes in fascination. Quiet chuckles escaped her as she read Clarke’s responses to some of the, quite frankly, absurd notes that had been written in there all those years ago.

It made Lexa wonder who it belonged to and she questioned why they would get rid of it. She leaned over to her bedside table and grabbed a pen, jotting these thoughts down at the back of the book.

She couldn’t believe that Clarke would even think to get her something for her birthday, let alone something she deemed as significant as this. Lexa smiled inwardly to herself as she responded to a particular note by the stranger that had caught her eye, all the while thinking about how lucky and grateful she was to have developed a friendship with Clarke Griffin over the past 2 months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok like i said i'm really sorry that i haven't updated this in like 3 months,, i don't really have an excuse just that Life hit me like a brick since summer with last year of school and applying to unis and just personal life stuff ((((: i feel really bad not having updated in so long because i do love writing this fic and appreciate every single comment and kudos i get so i hope this chapter wasn't too bad cos i feel like i kinda lost the flow cos of not updating in so long
> 
> i hope you're all doing well too, especially my american followers after the election. i wanted to get this chapter up on wednesday as something that could hopefully cheer people up but it wasn't ready then blarghh so today will have to do if that's ok with u guys
> 
> ((also thank you to my friend oscar for helping me come up with the name for the restaurant the team go to,, it means skylight paris if anyone has that wonderment. i thought it was cute and fancy))


	16. -C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is my apology of not updating in almost 2 months with an 11k words chapter. happy new year!

“Did you guys wanna do Secret Santa this year?” Octavia asked as she, Clarke, Raven, Bellamy, Jasper and Monty waited on the school field for homeroom to begin.

“Isn’t it a bit too late to do that?” Jasper asked.

“How so?” Octavia questioned him back.

“It’s already December…” Jasper said with an obvious tone to his voice.

“And have any of you started on buying Christmas presents?” Octavia challenged him.

A chorus of murmurs made their way through the group as they all shook their heads.

“It’s settled then. Bell, give me your hat,” Octavia held one of her hands out to him as she got a notebook and a pen from her bag with the other hand.

“Why?” Bellamy asked, holding on to his beloved baseball cap.

“So I can put the names in a hat and we can all take one, genius,” Octavia scoffed and took his hat off him.

She tore six small pieces of paper out of her notebook and wrote their names down on them. She proceeded to fold them all and put them in the hat and give it a good shake, letting Bellamy choose first.

“If you get your name, just put it back and choose again,” she said.

Bellamy, Raven and Monty picked out their names with Raven already grinning at hers.

“Why are you grinning, Ray?” Clarke narrowed her eyes at her. Everyone knew whoever would have a present from Raven would probably have something that could go boom in their hands.

“No reason,” Raven shrugged.

“Okay, my turn!” Jasper announced and leaned forward to take a name out of the hat, but his excitable smile turned into a frown as he read the name and groaned.

“Did you get yourself?” Clarke raised her eyes and tried not to laugh.

“Whatever,” Jasper huffed. He threw his name back in the hat and let Octavia shake them around again before pulling out another one. “Okay, I can work with that,” he nodded.

“Clarke, you go,” Octavia said.

Clarke nodded and instantly smiled when she opened the name that she chose.

“Okay, done,” Octavia grinned as she picked the last name and gave Bellamy’s hat back to him. “You have until Christmas Eve to get your presents.”

“Who’s house are we going to this year?” Raven asked.

“I believe it’s Monty’s turn,” Bellamy smiled at the boy.

“Sure is,” Monty nodded.

“You sure your mom doesn’t mind?” Clarke asked him.

“Please, the more the merrier!” Monty said mocking his mom’s voice, causing the others to laugh.

**anonymous asked:**

happy birthday! :) –c

Lexa read the message over in homeroom for probably the thousandth time. Her birthday was two weeks ago and she'd written in a tag on a post she'd reblogged on Tumblr about it as to not bring too much attention to it, but for some reason she still hadn’t replied to the message. She was surprised to see a birthday wish from C - messages between her and the anonymous internet stranger had almost come to a cease within the past month and Lexa wasn’t quite sure why. She missed the interaction – she could have such deep conversations with the stranger and also mess about and be herself, which in reality she thought was kind of silly since they were just online interactions, but it made her feel good and well, simply happy.

It had gotten to the point now where Lexa’s followers where beginning to question where C was because they were so used to seeing the conversations on their dashboard. She hoped that the girl she had been talking to since the summer was seeing the questions that Lexa had no answer to.

“Hey, Lexa,” Octavia said as she and Clarke pulled up chairs to her table.

“Oh, um, hi,” Lexa greeted them rather confused. 

“Is it okay if we sit here? Bellamy’s annoying Octavia and Jasper’s being kinda gross,” Clarke explained.

“Yeah, sure,” Lexa nodded, even though the two girls had already sat down.

“Thanks,” Clarke said. 

“So whatcha doing?” Octavia asked as she looked briefly at Lexa’s phone.

“Nothing,” Lexa shrugged.

“C’mon, we know you were doing something. You were looking so intensely at your phone you could have been Supergirl and fried it with laser vision,” Octavia chuckled.

“Oh, it’s just a message,” Lexa said vaguely.

“Good or bad?” Octavia asked.

“Good… I think,” Lexa thought.

“You can talk to us about it you know,” Octavia pushed with a gentle smile.

“Okay, well… it’s just this girl that I’ve been talking to online for the past few months, but we’ve barely spoken over the past month and I don’t know why,” Lexa elaborated.

“Is that so…” Octavia pretended to let the information sink in as she turned to Clarke with wide accusing eyes.

The blonde avoided eye contact with both Octavia and Lexa as she knew exactly what Lexa was talking about.

“Can’t you just message her and ask if you’ve done anything wrong?” Octavia asked Lexa, pretending to not anything about the situation.

“No, she talks to me anonymously. I don’t even know her name but the conversations we have are… amazing,” Lexa summed her feelings up.

“Are you sure it’s a girl?” Octavia asked.

“Octavia!” Clarke exclaimed suddenly.

“What, Clarke?” Octavia turned to her friend, daring her to say anything.

“It probably is a girl, Lexa,” Clarke tried to reassure her.

“Oh, she’s a girl. I know that much for sure,” Lexa nodded.

“I guess all you can do is hope that it’s just a little blip and that she’s fine. Maybe the next time she sends you something, ask her what’s up,” Octavia suggested. 

“Yeah I could do,” Lexa mulled the thought over. “I’ve got a message from her now that I haven’t replied to actually, maybe I can ask her in that.”

“What does the message say?” Octavia asked as she leaned over the desk to read the message.

“She wished me a happy birthday two weeks ago,” Lexa said.

“You’ve been sitting on that message for two weeks?!” Octavia almost shouted.

“Yeah… I wasn’t sure how to reply without things getting awkward between us. We spoke so much during summer and at the beginning of the semester and then all of a sudden last month I got almost nothing. I get if she’s busy or something but could she not at least just tell me that? Just to, I don’t know, ease my suffering or whatever,” Lexa ranted.

“You hear that, Clarke? Lexa’s been sitting on that message for two weeks because she’s afraid what seems like one of her most important friendships right now will go down the drain!” Octavia challenged Clarke again.

“Yeah I hear it,” Clarke nodded, keeping her head down still.

“What should she do?” Octavia asked her.

“Reply,” Clarke said instantly as she finally looked Lexa in the eye.

“You think so?” Lexa asked, needing some reassurance.

“Yeah, reply and just ask her what’s up. No big deal,” Clarke said the words trying to reassure herself more than anything.

“Okay,” Lexa agreed and typed out the message.

She showed it to Octavia who read it out loud.

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Hey, C. Sorry for the late reply, I’ve been busy with school. Thanks for the birthday wish! I was wondering recently if you’re okay since you’ve been pretty silent for the last month.

“Perfect,” Octavia said.

Before Lexa could think anything more of it, she hit send. 

“Thanks you two. It’s been bugging me for ages,” Lexa sighed as she felt like a small weight was lifted.

“No problem,” Octavia smiled just as the bell rang for the first class. “What class have you got now?” She asked.

“History,” Lexa told her.

“Clarke and I have got health with Jackson so we’ll see you later,” Octavia said.

“See you,” Lexa waved them out as the two girls went in the opposite direction of where she needed to go.

“I can’t believe you!” Octavia hit Clarke on the arm with the back of her hand as the two walked to health class.

“What?” Clarke frowned at her, rubbing the now tender spot on her arm.

“You talk to her for months online, basically lead her on, then suddenly stop because you find out it’s Lexa Woods, and then when she spills everything to you, you don’t tell her!” Octavia listed. 

“How am I meant to tell her, O? You want me to tell her whilst she’s worrying what she’s done wrong? To say ‘oh yeah, by the way, that person not talking to you properly anymore on the internet, that’s me’, and confuse her even more?” Clarke asked as she opened the door to health class. 

“Putting the poor girl out of her misery might be nice…” Octavia mumbled as they sat down at their desk.

“I’m scared, okay?” Clarke admitted, almost shouting and making those in close proximity of her stare for a moment. 

“Scared?” Octavia scrunched her face up, as she didn’t understand.

“Yes, scared. Because I’ve built this friendship up with her since the beginning of this semester that I never would have thought could happen, and it’s great. But then I’ve built it up online too and we’ve told each other things we never would have thought about telling anyone else. It just felt easy, but now all of that could change,” Clarke explained.

“Why would it change?” Octavia asked softly.

“Because it would mean there’s a face to who she's been talking to and it just might be different and awkward,” Clarke shrugged.

“Nothing has to change if you don’t want it to,” Octavia said.

“But what if she hates me for not telling her?” Clarke’s eyes widened in panic, making Octavia realise how much Lexa’s friendship meant to her.

“Isn’t that a reason that you should? Do it sooner rather than later, I mean. The longer you leave it the longer it’ll manifest itself inside you.”

Clarke sucked in a breath. “Yeah.”

 

**4 months earlier**

**anonymous asked:**

hey! what’s up? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I’m stressing over my family that’s what’s up. How about you?

**anonymous asked:**

still questioning my sexuality thanks to fictional characters. how come you’re stressing? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Oh, it’s just my mom. She’s always working. She always has been. I feel like I’m raising my little brother by myself sometimes.

**anonymous asked:**

that sucks, i’m sorry. what about your dad? assuming you have one. and how old is your bro? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

My brother is 13, so he’s practically independent now. Or at least he likes to think he is. My dad left shortly after he was born so I don’t really remember much except that he was always busy on the phone to work. So pretty much like my mom to be honest. I can see why they married each other. Are all families like this?

**anonymous asked:**

yeah, i get why you’re so upset and feel that way about your brother…. it must be stressful. if only i could meet your mom and tell her that she’s raised a pretty great daughter, then maybe she’d pay a bit more attention! as for your question, i wouldn’t know. my dad died 2 years ago and i’m an only child. just me and my mom who works a lot so that we can afford stuff –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Oh my god that sounds so rough I’m so sorry, C. If you ever wanna talk about it, or just need a distraction, you know my ask box is always open!

**anonymous asked:**

thanks, that really does mean a lot. but enough about me, lets get back to your mom – c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

There’s nothing more to it really. I know I’m probably just being ungrateful and spoiled or something because she works hard for my brother and I, it would just be nice if she spoke to us sometimes, y’know.

**anonymous asked:**

she that bad, huh? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Honestly, I’m probably just making it a bigger deal than it is. Because when she’s home she talks to us. She talks about school and our clubs and asks about our friends if we mention them, particularly one of my brother’s friends who she’s pretty fond of. But she’s not really present. She’s not someone I can go to for advice or talk about life or my future with. At least not in a realistic way, it’s all statistics and analysis and doing things “in my best interest” with her.

**anonymous asked:**

don’t all parents who care do things in their child’s best interests though? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

My mom does to an extent, like making sure we’re healthy or making sure we’ve got a plan for the future, but not about our wellbeing.

**anonymous asked:**

and how is your wellbeing at the minute? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Okay I guess. There’s people worse off than me so it’s not like I’m in a crisis or anything, I just feel like I’m suffocating with all the expectations my mother has of me.

**anonymous asked:**

expectations? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

She wants me to go into the profession that she has. It pays a lot and is very stable should I be successful, which I mostly likely will be as my grades are good, I’m smart, and I’m her daughter. But I don’t want to follow in her footsteps; I want to be a teacher.

**anonymous asked:**

so be a teacher! –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

It’s a little more complicated than that, C.

**anonymous asked:**

i know, but just think about it okay. think it through telling your mom, going to college with that career in mind and eventually having a class full of kids one day. think about it and let me know how it goes –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I will. Thank you, C :)

 

“You ready for tomorrow?” Raven asked as she sat down at the drum kit.

“No,” Lexa shook her head confidently.

“C’mon, Lexa! You’re the Commander! How can you be nervous?” Raven exclaimed.

“I was the Commander,” Lexa corrected her. “And those were soccer games, I was good at them. I’ve been on teams since I was 9-years-old. This is a music show where I have to sing and play guitar… I don’t have my team. It’s all new to me.”

“Okay, firstly, you’re still the Commander no matter if you’re playing soccer, taking a test or have a broken foot! You’re still in control and own whatever you do. Secondly, sure, this is something new and it’s scary, but you’ve gotta take a chance because you never know until you try. And if you screw up, it’s fine, you have to practice to get better at it and gain confidence. No one’s perfect. You tried it, that’s all that matters. And thirdly, no, you don’t have your team with you. But they’ll be in the audience cheering you on and supporting you no matter what. Plus, I’m going to be on stage with you. Why can’t we be a team?” Raven looked the girl in the eye sincerely.

Lexa thought for a second before taking a breath. “You’re right, I’m sorry. We are a team. We’re Trikru!” 

“Damn right we are!” Raven pumped her fist in the air.

“Let’s practice. The show is tomorrow and we’re gonna be great,” Lexa shot Raven a toothy smile as the drummer counted them into the song.

 

Lexa took a deep breath from the side of the stage. The auditorium was full of kids from all ages and she could just about make out their shadows under the harsh stage lights. She nervously glanced at Raven who stood besides her carrying her drumsticks and was bobbing up and down excitedly on her feet.

Raven spotted Lexa’s nervous gaze out into the audience and turned to grin at the girl. “You ready?” She asked. 

“No,” Lexa shook her head, looking straight out into the audience trying to spot Anya and the rest of the soccer team. 

“Remember what I told you yesterday, yeah? You’re gonna be fine,” Raven tried to pep talk Lexa who looked almost pale.

“Raven I don’t think I can do this,” Lexa said as she finally looked at the drummer.

“Tough, because we’re on!” Raven tugged on Lexa’s arm above her crutch to get her to walk on stage as Lexa suddenly became aware of Principal Jaha’s voice.

“Please welcome Raven Reyes and Lexa Woods as Trikru!” Jaha announced as the two stumbled on to the stage.

The crowd applauded rather tamely, except for Clarke and Octavia, as Lexa could both see and hear them cheering.

“Break a leg, Commander,” Raven patted her on the back and took her seat at the drums.

Lexa shakily sat down at the chair that had been placed in the center of the stage for her and put her crutches on the floor next to her. She picked up her acoustic guitar that had been put on the stage for her so that she didn’t have to carry it on, and gave a shy smile to the now hushed audience.

“Um, hi. I’m Lexa, this is Raven,” she pointed to the girl on drums who waved confidently, “and we are Trikru.”

She heard Clarke and Octavia cheer again.

“We’re going to be playing _Guns For Hands_ by Twenty One Pilots,” Lexa said and turned to nod at Raven who smiled and began to play softly.

Lexa joined in, cautiously playing the main riff of the song as the audience sat still and quiet. Raven’s beat begun to get stronger, but Lexa remained with the same comfortable dynamic, something they hadn’t planned for. She was quickly pulled out of it though as Raven’s now fast and loud drumming caught her attention and she played with more purpose.

She switched to alternating between plucking and strumming chords, and Raven’s drumming got once against softer as Lexa’s delicate and shaky voice begun to sing.

 _I know what you think in the morning_

_When the sun shines on the ground_

_And shows what you have done_

_It shows where your mind has gone_

Lexa kept her eyes focused on the edge of the stage as she quietly sung into the microphone in front of her, trying to forget about the crowd and just pretend she was practicing with Raven whom she’d grown rather comfortable singing around.

_And you swear to your parents_

_That it will never happen again_

_I know, I know what that means, I know_

Raven took the leading going into the chorus and her beat became powerful, with Lexa’s then pure strumming of the chords not far behind as she started to get lost in the music.

She shut her eyes tight as she let the emotion pour through her.

_That you all have guns_

_And you never put the safety on_

_And you all have plans_

_To take it, to take it_

_Don’t take it, take it, take it_

She practically screamed the last line as she shook her head fiercely.

She opened her eyes slowly and refocused her eyes on the edge of the stage as her voice regained softness and she went back to alternating between plucking and strumming.

_I’m trying, I’m trying to sleep_

_I’m trying, I’m trying to sleep_

_But I can’t, but I can’t when you all have_

_Guns for hands_

She slowly looked up into the audience for the first time and saw them watching her intently, no one daring to move in case they broke the atmosphere. 

_I’m trying, I’m trying to sleep_

_I’m trying, I’m trying to sleep_

_But I can’t, but I can’t when you all have_

_Guns for hands_

The confidence was now clear in her voice as she was lost in the music, and she allowed it to wash over her with only the sound of her guitar and the drums behind her.

_Let's take this a second at a time_

_Let's take this one song, this one rhyme_

_Together, let's breathe_

_Together, to the beat_

_But there's hope out the window_

_So that's where we'll go_

_Let's go outside and all join hands_

_But until then you'll never understand_

The faint gasp that Lexa elicited from the front of the audience because of the power of her voice on the last line was lost to her as she continued to sing.

 _That you all have guns_

_And you never put the safety on_

_And you all have plans_

_To take it, to take it_

_Don't take it, take it, take it_

_I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep_

_I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep_

_But I can't, but I can't when you all have_

_Guns for hands_

With the help of Raven’s staccato drumming, Lexa played a sort interlude on the guitar before getting to the bridge of the song where she had to rap. She carried on the riff of the interlude as her voice went somewhere between singing and talking. 

_We've turned our hands to guns, trade in our thumbs for ammunition_

_I must forewarn you, of my disorder, or my condition_

_'Cause when the sun sets, it upsets what's left of my invested interest_

_Interested in putting my fingers to my head_

_The solution is, I see a whole room of these mutant kids_

_Fused at the wrist, I simply tell them they should shoot at this_

_Simply suggest my chest and this confused music_

_It's obviously best for them to turn their guns into a fist_

She faded the riff into chords and eventually gently begun to strum her guitar as she ended the song. 

 _I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep_

_I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep_

_But I can't, but I can't when you all have_

_Guns for hands, yeah_

The crowd erupted into a cheer and all Lexa was speechless. All she could do what sit and stare at the dark figures now standing and clapping so hard it must have hurt.

The house lights slowly turned on and Lexa immediately caught the eye of Anya, who was standing with a proud smile on her face and clapping with the rest of the school. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Raven grinning at the audience. She followed Raven’s eyeline and saw Clarke, Octavia and the rest of the drummer’s friends jumping up and down, screaming with pride for their friend.

“C’mon, Lexa. Get up,” Raven tugged on her arm a little, making her grab her crutches quickly and get up so they could walk off stage.

“I forgot to say thank you,” Lexa realised suddenly as they walked across the stage passing Jaha who was walking towards the microphone.

“A great performance by Miss Reyes and Miss Woods,” he said and Lexa tentatively looked out into the audience again as she made it to the side of the stage.

All of a sudden Clarke and Octavia were running towards them with grins that Lexa was sure she could recognise from a mile away. She saw Octavia wrap Raven up in a hug and squeal before being engulfed herself by a tight hug from Clarke.

She hugged the blonde back as best she could with crutches, almost getting lost in the feel and smell of being surrounding by nothing but Clarke.

“You were so good!” Octavia said, pulling both girls out of their senses.

Clarke pulled back, smiling awkwardly at Lexa about the line of physical contact she’d just crossed.

“Thanks, O,” Raven smiled. “How’d you get here so fast though? You were just in the audience,” Her smile quickly turned into a puzzled frown.

“We ran through the corridor as soon as Jaha walked on stage,” Octavia said simply. 

“Ah, that would explain why Clarke’s panting,” Raven nodded.

“Shut up,” Clarke snapped her gaze towards Raven, narrowing her eyes and making the others laugh.

 

Clarke carried Lexa’s guitar as she followed the girl into a practice room full of her and Raven’s stuff.

“Uh, you can just lean that up against a wall,” Lexa turned to Clarke on her crutches and pointed her head at the guitar.

Clarke leant it up in the corner of the room and smiled at Lexa who sat down at the piano stool.

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled. “You didn’t have to carry it though, you know.” 

Clarke shrugged. “It’s no problem.” 

She stood looking around the room for a moment before her eyes landed on the piano next to Lexa. 

“You play piano?” Clarke asked, squeezing on to the stool next to Lexa. 

“Not really. I’m sure if I tried hard enough then I'd be okay at it but strings are more my thing,” Lexa explained.

“Like the ukulele,” Clarke raised her eyebrows as she gave Lexa a toothy smile. 

“That was a present from my mom a few years ago, I told you I don’t really play it,” Lexa chuckled. 

“Whatever,” Clarke laughed. 

“You do though,” Lexa cocked her head and smirked.

“Yeah, sometimes. I wanted to learn an instrument after my dad…” she hesitated, not wanting to get into the details of her father’s passing. “After my dad. I’m not really that coordinated though and I thought the ukulele is small and only has four strings so it’s gotta be easy,” she said. 

“And is it?” Lexa asked. 

“It’s okay,” Clarke nodded. “I don’t play it as much as I want to but it’s something to do.” 

“What about the piano?” Lexa asked, putting her hands delicately on top of the keys and playing a simple chord she knew from music class. 

Clarke nodded and took a breath. “My dad used to teach me when I was a kid.” 

“Why’d you stop?” Lexa asked gently. Everyone knew the sensitive subject of Mr Griffin, former math teacher. 

“I don’t know,” Clarke shrugged, fighting back tears. “I just lost interest in middle school. We still have our piano, but I can’t go near it.” 

“Is that why you got the ukulele instead?” Lexa deducted.

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded, wiping a stray tear that rolled down her cheek on her sleeve. “To reconnect,” she blew some air out of her mouth as she trying to calm herself down. 

Lexa simply put her hand gently on Clarke’s wrist that hovered over the piano. 

“He used to play the piano all the time. _Heroes_ by David Bowie was his favorite,” Clarke said as she formed an unpractised chord.

“Good choice Mr Griffin,” Lexa nodded and took her hand off Clarke as the blonde begun to play slowly. 

“I practically begged him to teach me it,” she smiled softly as her fingers remembered how play. “But anyway,” she stopped abruptly, wiping her face in her hands and looking at Lexa, “what about you? Have you applied to any colleges yet?” 

“Um…” Lexa thought, being quite taken aback by Clarke’s sudden change of topic. “Yeah, actually. I’ve applied for a few.”

“Already?” Clarke frowned.

“Yeah, it’s the beginning of December already and the deadline is next month, I didn’t want to leave it until the last minute,” Lexa said and Clarke grimaced. “Have you left it until the last minute?” Lexa asked. 

“I don’t even know if I want to go to college and if I did I’d have to pick between art and medicine. I don’t even want to be a doctor!” Clarke said in an exasperated sigh. 

“So don’t be one then,” Lexa shrugged. 

Clarke carried on, barely acknowledging Lexa’s words. “It’s just the pressure from my mom because I used to say I want to be one like she is and now I’m older and it just looks boring and stressful even though all I want to do is help people and… wait, what?” She eyed Lexa.

“I said, don’t be one then.” 

“But…” Clarke stuttered. 

“Clarke, you don’t have to do things just to make your mom happy. It’s your life, do what you want. You can always take a gap year to decide what you want to do. But I do understand where you’re coming from. My mom has all these expectations of me that I just can’t fulfil. I don’t want to fulfil them,” Lexa said. 

“I don’t know…” Clarke groaned.

Clarke thought about her mother and how she’d get on when Clarke eventually moved out. The thought was scary. Abby Griffin worked a lot – Clarke was used to cooking for herself and doing her own laundry, but she also savoured the times she spent with her mother. They were the only two people they had sometimes; they supported each other.

But she also knew that her mother would be fine. She was a strong woman. Sure, there would be some lonely evenings, but it wasn’t like Clarke was leaving forever. 

“I keep thinking about my mom and how she’ll be when I do eventually leave,” she admitted to Lexa. 

“Well, you can either have a gap year and think about what you want to do and it will also give you and your mom some time to prepare for you leaving, or you can just rip the band aid off,” Lexa told her simply. 

Clarke considered her words for a moment and nodded. “Fuck it, lets rip the band aid off. I want to go to college, I want to start my life.” 

“Great,” Lexa smiled in full support.

“I can’t stay here worrying about my mom all the time, and as much as I love my dad, I need to move on. I need to get out,” Clarke said.

“Understandable,” Lexa nodded.

“I feel like I’m suffocating sometimes with the memory of him in this town, or in the back yard or my bedroom, or at that damn piano,” Clarke chuckled.

“You just need some space. You’ll get it,” Lexa smiled at Clarke’s bittersweet memories.

“I want to do art. I don’t know what kind of art, but I don’t want to be a doctor with all the surgeries and hospitals. That’s not me… anymore,” Clarke decided slowly. 

“If you want, I can help you look at some colleges and art careers,” Lexa suggested. 

“Um yeah, yeah that would be great, thank you, Lexa!” Clarke lips turned upwards into a smile. 

They sat in silence for a few moments before Clarke gasped. 

“I didn’t ask you where you’ve applied!”

Lexa let out a hearty laugh. “It’s fine.” 

“Where did you apply though?” Clarke asked, all her focus now on the girl next to her. 

“Brown, Washington State and Stanford,” Lexa said. 

“But that’s only three…” Clarke thought. 

“They’re the only ones I’m interested in,” Lexa shrugged. 

“What are you gonna study?” Clarke asked. 

“English.” 

“English, really?” The blonde’s eyebrows rose. 

“What?” Lexa frowned. 

“Nothing, I just didn’t peg you as an English major. I didn’t know you liked it that much,” Clarke said.

“Yeah, I mean I love soccer and this whole music and acting thing is fun, but I’ve always enjoyed English classes and reading,” Lexa explained.

“What do you wanna do with an English degree?” Clarke asked.

“I wanna teach,” Lexa said simply. 

“Oh,” Clarke nodded. 

“What?” Lexa frowned again. 

“Nothing! Teaching is great, it’s just I didn’t realise you liked all that stuff!” Clarke said with a smile. 

“Yeah, I wanna teach elementary school. I’ve sort of always had teaching in the back of my mind. I thought about soccer professionally when I was younger but that dream just got further and further away as I got older,” Lexa explained.

Clarke nodded, realising she still had a lot to learn about Lexa, and she thought about what she wanted to do throughout her life.

 

 **3 months earlier**

**anonymous asked:**  

i don’t want to go to schoooool –c

 **iam-thecommander replied:**  

You have tooooo, it’s the first day of your senior year!

**anonymous asked:**

but i don’t want it to beeeeeee –c 

 **iam-thecommander replied:**

If it makes you feel any better, it’s my first day too. 

 **anonymous asked:**

but you seem like someone who has their life together! you can get up and go to school. i’m still grumpy in bed –c 

 **iam-thecommander replied:**

Ha! Far from it, actually. But if I can do it, so can you. Come on, baby steps. Go brush your teeth or eat breakfast or pee or whatever it is that you do first.

 **anonymous asked:**

i caaaaaaan’t. that means the year is officially beginning and i’ll have to worry about my sat scores and colleges and money and aahhhhhhhhh –c 

 **iam-thecommander replied:**

You can do all that. If Piper can survive in prison then you can at least survive eight hours in school today. You’ll see your friends too!

**anonymous asked:**

huh, that was oddly motivating. (btw the first thing i do in the morning is grumble and go on my phone. step 1 complete, now gotta pee) –c

 **iam-thecommander replied:**

Have a nice pee.

 

“So,” Lexa began as she sat on Clarke’s bed. “Have you thought about any art careers?”

The two girls had arranged for Lexa to go to Clarke’s house the next day to get started with her college applications as soon as possible.

“Since yesterday? No,” Clarke shook her head and picked up her laptop from her bed. She sat next to Lexa and logged on, immediately opening up the internet. 

“Hey, I didn’t know you have a Tumblr,” Lexa pointed out as she saw Clarke’s bookmarks at the top of the page. 

“Oh, um… yeah,” Clarke coughed and quickly changed the subject. “I’ve always liked to paint my own stuff, but I know that’s kind of a long shot career wise. Illustrating would be kind of cute but that’s about all I know,” she said as she typed in ‘art careers’ and clicked on the first link. 

Lexa pointed to the first job on the list. “What about that one?” She asked. 

“An animator? Ha! I don’t know anything about computers. I just like watching the movies,” Clarke said and moved on.

“Umm… what about a make up artist or tattooist?” Lexa listed of suggestions.

“I know nothing about make up,” Clarke frowned, “and I couldn’t bare the thought of someone coming to me to put something on their body permanently for me to just screw it up.” 

“Okay,” Lexa nodded and looked through the list again. “So if you don’t have much of an interest in make up I’m assuming you won’t want to design clothes?”

“I wear sweaters and jeans pretty much all the time, I think I’m a lost cause on that one,” Clarke chuckled.

“They’ve got set design,” Lexa noticed.

“Oh really, where?” Clarke asked searching the list. 

Lexa pointed to it for Clarke to click on.

“That’s pretty cool,” Clarke murmured. “I am enjoying painting the set for the play.”

“It says a relevant degree would be fine art which sounds good,” Lexa said.

“Yeah, we’ll keep looking but I’ll add it to my list,” Clarke nodded and clicked to go back to the list on the website.

“Oh or they’ve got prop maker,” Lexa saw. 

“Nah,” Clarke shook her head. “I’m more of a painter not sculptor.” 

“Hey, what about an art therapist?” Lexa suggested. 

“So like a doctor?” Clarke turned her nose up at the girl next to her.

“No, not a doctor, per se. You’ll be helping people overcome their struggles by using art. Click on it,” Lexa said, so Clarke did.

“It says that I’d be helping people to understand and express their emotions if they’ve got a mental health problem, learning disability or are coming to terms with something or recovering from something… huh,” Clarke pondered.

“Interesting?” Lexa asked.

“I didn’t know that you could merge being a doctor with being an artist,” Clarke said. 

“Yeah, you can do all kinds of things,” Lexa nodded.

“Let’s see what bachelor degree it tells me I should have,” Clarke said and scrolled down.

“Probably something to do with psychology,” Lexa said and quickly found herself to be right. “You could major in psychology and minor in some kind of art.”

“I’ve never done anything to do with psychology though except like snippets in bio,” Clarke sighed, flopping back on to her bed as Lexa took the laptop and put it on her lap instead.

“You can learn. As long as you have a good SAT score and they like you enough I don’t see why you can’t do it,” Lexa reassured her.

“I guess so,” Clarke mumbled.

“You said yesterday that you wanted to help people but you didn’t want to be a doctor with all the hospitals and surgeries, and you said you wanted to do art,” Lexa said simply. 

“And that’s what this job would let me do,” Clarke sat up slowly.

“Exactly. You’d be sharing your passion with people whilst helping them with their own struggles. The only downside I see is that it might be pretty stressful, but what job isn’t?” Lexa smiled at her. 

“Let’s look at some colleges then,” Clarke smiled back.

2 hours later Clarke was happy with the progress she’d made and found some colleges that she was definitely interested in with the help of Lexa.

“Music?” She asked Lexa when the decided to have a break. 

“Sure,” Lexa nodded from where she was laying on her back on Clarke’s bed. 

Clarke went to her desk and plugged her iPod into her speakers. 

Lexa’s eyebrows shot up as she heard _Underneath the Tree_ by Kelly Clarkson play. 

“What the hell is this?” She looked at Clarke.

“Kelly Clarkson!” The blonde grinned and began to sing along enthusiastically.

“I know who it is, Clarke. I mean why…” Lexa got up and hobbled over to Clarke’s desk without her crutches.

“Because this song is so good! It makes me happy!” Clarke’s grin stayed as she danced. 

Lexa took in Clarke’s pure happiness and smiled. She couldn’t help but find it endearing. 

“What about…” She mumbled turning to look through Clarke’s Christmas playlist. “Ah! _Last Christmas_ , a classic!”

She put the song on, making Clarke whine.

“Nooooo, Wham, really?” She slumped her shoulders over.

“C’mon, Clarke, this is a classic. These are the kind of songs that make me happy,” Lexa smiled.

“I don’t even know why I have that on there, I think it’s just from my mom old Christmas albums.” 

“Okay, compromise. What about _Merry Christmas Everyone_?” Lexa asked. 

“Shakin’ Stevens? I love that song!” Clarke beamed once more. 

“Settled,” Lexa grinned back and played the song.

Their dance session didn’t last long however as Abby knocked on Clarke’s bedroom door. 

“Mom?” Clarke asked, opening the door.

“Hey, sweetie. Hi, Lexa,” Abby smiled to the girl at her daughter’s desk.

“Hi, Mrs Griffin,” Lexa waved.

“I didn’t realise you were gonna be home so early,” Clarke told her mother. 

“Clarke, it’s almost 4pm, I told you I’d be back by now,” Abby said. 

“Oh,” Clarke blinked. She must have lost track of time. 

“Are you staying for dinner, Lexa?” Abby asked. 

“Oh um, no it should be okay, thank you. I think my mom will be picking me up soon anyway,” Lexa said.

“No worries,” Abby smiled.

“Hey, mom?” Clarke asked. 

“Yes, sweetie?” 

“What do you think about art therapy?” Clarke asked with newfound courage to talk to her mother about her future.

“It’s a good occupation, it helps a lot of people. Is that what you’ve been looking at?” Abby studied her daughter.

“Um, yeah pretty much,” Clarke admitted. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a doctor like you are. I mean, I want to help people but I don’t want to work in a hospital. I want to do my art.” 

“Clarke, it’s okay. You know whatever you choose I’ll support you. If art therapy is something you really want to do we’ll figure something out,” Abby smiled. 

“Thanks, mom,” Clarke couldn’t hold back a grin.

“Come and help me cook dinner soon, okay?” Abby more told her than asked. 

“Yes, mom,” Clarke jokingly rolled her eyes as Abby shut the door. She turned to Lexa. “You sure you don’t want dinner here?” 

“I’m sure, it’s fine,” Lexa nodded. “I told my mom to come and get me around now so she should be here soon anyway.”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded, trying to mask the disappointment in her voice.

 

“Monty, I know I say this every single time I walk into your house but it’s-“ 

“Amazing, I know,” Monty finished Clarke’s sentence as he let her, Octavia, Raven and Bellamy in the front door. “Jasper’s in my bedroom.” 

“Jasper practically lives here,” Bellamy smirked and made his way up to Monty’s room. 

They had all been to each other’s houses enough that they didn’t need to ask to do anything; they just made themselves at home.

“Secret Santa presents go on my bed,” Monty said as they got to his room.

“Shuffle them around too so no one knows whose is whose,” Octavia said. 

“Right,” Monty nodded and did what he was told once everyone had put their presents on his bed. 

“Music?” Clarke suggested to which she got five nods in response.

She took her iPod out of her bag and placed it in Monty’s stereo, flicking to her Christmas playlist. 

She almost hit _Underneath the Tree_ , a favorite for not only her, but Octavia and Raven too, when she hesitated and started with _Last Christmas_. A small smile was present on her face as she thought of Lexa. 

“Boo!” Raven immediately shouted at the blonde.

“Clarke? Kelly Clarkson!” Octavia pouted.

“She’ll be on after this song,” Clarke chuckled, making sure to add their favorite to the queue.

After half an hour of chatting, Octavia impatiently got up from where she was sitting at Monty’s desk. “Okay, Secret Santa time now!”

She took the presents and put them in a pile on Monty’s floor, motioning for everyone to sit around them. For the sake of anonymity, they’d agreed to use the same wrapping paper to confuse each other even more.

“Remember, no guessing until everyone’s gotten their presents,” Octavia said.

“Who’s first?” Raven asked. 

“I think the oldest should go first,” Bellamy said cockily and reached forward to grab the gift with his name on it. 

“Sure,” Raven smirked at Jasper who had to stifle laughter. 

Bellamy eagerly opened his present to reveal a nicely made copper alarm clock.

“Wow, you guys remembered I needed a new alarm clock?” Bellamy smiled at the design.

“You know, Bell, you have this thing called a phone which has one built in,” Octavia rolled her eyes. 

“He likes to be old fashioned,” Clarke reminded her. 

“Okay, me next,” Jasper grinned and greedily took his present from the pile. 

He shook it next to his ear and thought.

“Hm, a book!” He deducted and tore open the wrapper to reveal a book on chemistry.

“That was pretty obvious that it was a book, Jas,” Octavia chuckled. 

“Oh yeah, are you just saying that because you bought it?” He asked only half serious. 

“Monty, you go. It’s your house,” Clarke said. 

“Okay,” the boy said and took his present. 

He opened the wrapping and found a hipflask with _M G_ engraved into it. 

“Wow,” he laughed. “Thanks, whoever got this,” he looked around the room and his eyes landed on Octavia, who looked like she was trying to guess her present from staring at it. “O, you go. You’ve been wanting to know what yours is since you saw it.” 

“Thank you,” Octavia exhaled and ripped open her present. “Oh…” she looked at it and Clarke had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing.

If the multicolored blobs of paint on the purse that she was holding up in front of her were anything to go by, she could definitely say that it was the ugliest purse she’d ever seen.

“Cute,” Raven said as a fake compliment.

“Alright, Ray. You next,” Octavia said. 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Raven said and opened her presents. “Baking soda and paints! Awesome!” She grinned gratefully at her simple yet satisfying presents.

“Clarkey!” Jasper sung and placed the last present in the pile on her lap. 

“Okay,” Clarke smiled and opened her present rather clumsily.

She let out a gasp when she saw was inside.

“Okay, whoever did this needs to send them back,” she looked around the room. 

“No way,” Monty shook his head. “You been ogling those paintbrushes for months I know how much you wanted them but didn’t have the money.”

“You did this, Monty?” Clarke asked.

“Yep,” he gave a firm nod.

“They’re too much!” Clarke said and hugged him. 

“Well, I’m going to guess that my present is from Jasper,” Octavia piped up. 

“What? How’d you guess?” Jasper sulked. 

“Um, the wack-job mess at wrapping it, mainly,” Octavia laughed when Jasper pouted more. “But thank you, I know how much thought you must have put into the purse.”

“Is mine from you?” He asked her. 

“Nope,” Octavia shook her head. 

“Clarke?” 

“Nope,” Clarke said. 

“Monty?” 

“No,” Monty said. 

“Bell?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy laughed.

“Thanks man,” Jasper grinned at his new book. 

“No problem,” Bellamy shrugged.

“I’m a little offended that you didn’t guess me,” Raven folded her arms. 

“Okay, you go,” Jasper said to her. 

“I am going to guess… Octavia,” Raven said after mulling it over.

“What? How did you know?” The girl gasped.

“We’ve made volcanoes for the science fair every year since 6th grade. This is the some of the basic stuff you need for one,” Raven smiled.

“And they only get more epic,” Octavia grinned.

“Damn right!” Raven said and high fived her friend.

“Monty, you go,” Bellamy said. 

“You don’t like guessing?” Monty asked him. 

“Nah,” he shook his head.

“Okay, fair. Well it’s either Clarke or Raven and I’m going to guess Clarke,” Monty smiled.

“Yeah,” Clarke laughed.

“How’d you know?” Raven asked.

“Because if you were going to get me something alcohol related it would have been the ingredients for moonshine,” Monty looked at her pointedly.

“You make a good point, Green,” Raven nodded. 

“So that leaves me with Raven,” Bellamy said and immediately raised his eyebrows at the alarm clock.

“Why do you suddenly look so hesitant?” She asked, make the rest of them snicker. 

Everyone knew Raven’s presents were not to be trusted.

“Did you make this alarm clock?” Bellamy asked. 

“Yep,” Raven said proudly.

“So that means it’s probably gonna blow up in my face at 6am,” he groaned.

“Hey, Blake. Ever thought that I could just make something nice for you because I am a nice friend?” Raven said, a little bit offended.

“You’re right. Sorry, Ray. It’s beautifully made,” Bellamy said and gave the girl a hug. 

“Alright! Well everyone has their presents!” Octavia clapped.

“Merry Christmas everyone,” Monty said as cheers made their way across the group.

 

“Thanks for having us Monty,” Octavia called from where she was about to get in Clarke’s car on the boy’s driveway.

“No problem,” Monty waved.

“Are you coming, Jasper?” Clarke called.

“No, he’s staying here for a little longer,” Monty explained. 

“Okay, see you guys at New Year’s then!” Clarke waved and got in the driver’s seat.

“Raven, your house is closest so you’re going home first,” Clarke said once she’d reversed out of Monty’s drive.

“No problem,” Raven said from the backseat.

10 minutes later, Clarke found herself in the car by herself having just dropped Bellamy and Octavia back at their house. Instead of going home she found herself making an impulse decision to drive to the unfamiliar posh neighbourhood of her town.

She parked the car outside of 42 Park Avenue and took a deep breath as she picked up her bag and got out.

The wait at the door felt like forever, but finally Lexa’s face appeared as the door opened. 

“Clarke?” She asked. 

“Hey, Lexa. I know it’s kind of stupid to be turning up here unannounced but I got you a Christmas present but I just realised it’s Christmas Eve and you’re probably with your family and this is kind of crazy... I can come back,” Clarke rambled and quickly turned to leave, realising that she should have thought this through.

“Clarke,” she felt a hand on her shoulder stop her. “It’s not stupid. Come in! I actually got you something too but I was just going to wait until next semester to give it to you because I figured I probably wouldn’t see you over the holidays.”

“Um… surprise?” Clarke scrunched her face up.

“Come on, my family’s not doing much right now except watching _Elf_ so we can go to my room,” Lexa opened the door wider for Clarke to come in.

“I love _Elf_!” Clarke exclaimed, making her way up Lexa’s stairs already.

“Of course you do,” Lexa laughed, finding Clarke endearing.

“Your room is on the right, right?” Clarke asked as she got to the top of the staircase. 

“Yup,” Lexa popped the p. 

Clarke opened the door and immediately sat down on Lexa’s bed, waiting for the brunette on crutches to join her. When she did, Clarke smiled and opened her bag.

“Okay, I got you this,” Clarke shakily handed Lexa the small square gift. “But don’t shake it, because it’s kind of fragile.”

Lexa took the wrapping off and, as she expected, had to open a box to find her present.

“Clarke…” Lexa half gasped, half chuckled.

“Do you like it?” Clarke asked tentatively. “I didn’t know how to top your birthday present but I made this one.”

“A soccer ball tree ornament,” Lexa laughed as she held up the festive red ornament with green markings artistically splattered around.

She looked at Clarke sincerely. 

“I love it. The fact that you went to all this effort to make this is really nice.” 

“You’re welcome,” Clarke smiled.

“Okay, your present,” Lexa grinned and leaned over to her desk to get Clarke’s present. “It’s not wrapped or anything because I wasn’t expecting to give it to you now,” she said and handed Clarke a thick book. “And it’s kind of lame, I’m sorry. You just seemed so happy when we looked at colleges.”

Clarke smiled as she read the blurb to the book.

_Art Therapy_

_Treatments_

_How they help_

“No, this is great Lexa. It’ll really give me an advantage for colleges now,” Clarke said with no hint of sarcasm or joking in her voice.

“Wanna come and help me put the ornament on the tree?” Lexa waggled her eyebrows as she held up the gift that Clarke had made her.

“Sure, but I don’t want to intrude on anything,” Clarke said.

“You won’t be. Besides, Charlotte’s downstairs with Aden all cuddled up on the couch,” Lexa shrugged.

“Awww!”

“It’s kind of gross, actually,” Lexa shook her head, making Clarke laugh.

“Hey, mom, Clarke made me a ornament so I’m going put it on the tree, okay?” Lexa announced as they got into the living room.

“Okay,” Luna said, barely looking up from where she was reading. It made Clarke feel uneasy for Lexa.

“C’mon,” Lexa waved her over to the tree, seemingly unaffected by her mother’s disinterest.

“Right,” Clarke said under her breath and walked over.

She smirked at Aden and Charlotte cuddled up just like Lexa had said they would be. “Hi, Aden. Hi, Charlotte.”

“Um, hi,” Aden said awkwardly and Charlotte shuffled in her seat, making Clarke chuckle.

“Where should we put it?” Lexa asked as she held up the ornament.

“I don’t know, Lex, it’s your tree,” Clarke shrugged.

“What about here, near the top?” Lexa tried to reach on her crutches but almost fell over. 

“Why don’t I do it?” Clarke suggested and took the ornament, putting it on the empty branch in between two golden ornaments. “Perfect,” she said. 

Lexa got momentarily caught up in watching Clarke admire the tree before clearing her throat. “Uh, you can stay and watch _Elf_ if you like.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I should probably get home to my mom,” Clarke said. 

“No problem,” Lexa nodded. “Your bag’s still in my room though.”

“I’ll go get it,” Clarke sped off out of the room and up the stairs.

“Nice tree ornament,” Aden smirked with a bit of a childish tone to his voice.

“Shut up,” Lexa grumbled and walked out of the room to meet Clarke at the bottom of the staircase.

“Thanks for the book,” Clarke said as Lexa opened the door for her.

“Likewise,” the girl on crutches cocked her head towards the Christmas tree.

“Oh, um. Did you want to come to my house for New Year’s Eve?” Clarke asked.

“Really?” Lexa frowned as she was surprised by the invite. 

“Yeah, my mom always works overtime on New Year’s Eve because of how many kids are gonna be drinking so she lets me have some friends over,” Clarke explained. 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Lexa asked. 

“Lexa, I’m sure,” Clarke nodded firmly. “I’ve done it for the past three years. It’ll probably just be the same people from Halloween.”

“Um, sure. I guess it’s okay. I don’t think the soccer team are doing anything,” Lexa thought.

“Invite the team too!” Clarke said enthusiastically.

“Are you sure? Things got a little out of control last time with Anya and Raven…” Lexa thought back to Halloween.

“I’m sure. O will probably invite them anyway since they’re her friends too,” Clarke laughed.

“Okay, sure. I’ll see you at New Year’s then,” Lexa smiled.

“See you,” Clarke more like beamed back at the girl as she walked to her car.

 

**4 months earlier**

**anonymous asked:**

where do you find all the queer kids in town? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Honestly, no idea. They seem to be in some kind of secret hideout for me too.

**anonymous asked:**

you mean even once you’re out you can’t find the rest of the lgbt community?? how am i meant to find anyone in common who looks at girls the way that i look at them. how am i meant to come out or whatever now? sighhhhh –c

 **iam-thecommander replied:**

Okay, well firstly, if you are gay or bisexual I’d say don’t come out until you’re ready and it’s safe to do so. You don’t even have to come out if you don’t want to – it’s not a requirement. Straight people don’t have to do it so why should queer people? And secondly, there are lots of people who look at girls the same way that you do. They’re there somewhere, probably just in secret. I reckon when you get older they’ll be easier to find. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself anyway. 

**anonymous asked:**

just a waiting game for both of us then huh? –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Looks that way.

 

Lexa sat with her leg straight out in front of her on what could have only been the most uncomfortable bed she’d ever sat on.

“Okay Lexa, seems like your foot should have healed nicely so I’m going to take the cast off now and then we’ll send you down for an x-ray to double check,” the nurse smiled kindly at her. 

“Okay,” Lexa nodded and braced herself for the loud noise of the sharp object that would be finally freeing her foot.

She watched the nurse do her job intently and 20 minutes later found herself being helped both the nurse and her mother into a wheelchair.

“My foot’s so skinny…” Lexa marvelled.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be in physiotherapy in no time getting your strength back,” the nurse told her as they set off for x-rays.

Another half an hour later and Lexa was listening to another doctor use words that she didn’t understand and point parts of her bones in the scan that all just looked the same to her.

“Does this mean I can play soccer again?” She asked trying not to sound to hopeful as the doctor finished explain how her foot had healed.

The doctor sighed and thought for a second. “In time,” he said. “Maybe.”

Lexa grinned to her mother whose expression was one of concern. 

“Don’t get your hopes up though. You’re going to need to get those pins taken out of you so you’ll be in a soft cast for a few weeks and on pain killers. Oh, and physio should last about a month,” the doctor explained.

“That’s… a lot of stuff,” Lexa nodded, taking it all in. 

“Yep, so I’m afraid no having too much fun on New Year’s Eve.” 

“Oh, um, honestly I’m just happy to get the cast off,” Lexa avoided the eye contact of both the doctor who smirked at her and her mother whose eyebrows raised.

“Should we get those pins out of you now?” The doctor more so told her than asked, but Lexa still nodded enthusiastically as she mentally prepared herself for the small operation.

 

“Here she is!” The soccer team cheered they walked into Lexa’s bedroom after being let in by the intimidating Luna Woods.

“Hey guys,” Lexa smiled tiredly to her teammates from where she was resting against the headboard of her bed. 

“How you feeling, Commander?” Anya asked walking up to the girl buried in blankets and stroked her hair. 

“Good, just a little tired,” Lexa replied. 

“Pain killers?” Lincoln asked.

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded. “I should be okay to walk around on crutches tomorrow, and I better be by New Year’s Eve – Clarke’s invited us all to her party.”

“Yeah, Octavia told us on the way here,” Emori said.

“So you’re all coming?” Lexa asked hopefully.

“Yes, Lexa,” Octavia nodded.

Lexa smiled for a second before noticing the bags her teammates were carrying. “Oh, you guys wanna do presents?”

“Sure,” Anya said.

“Okay, someone go get the orange carrier bag from my closet over there,” Lexa pointed in the general direction. 

“On it,” Niylah nodded and ran to the other side of the room. She swung the closet door open and grabbed the handles of the bag, barely picking it up from the ground. “Jesus, Lexa, what’s in here?” She asked as she used to hands to lug it to Lexa’s bed. 

“Well you’ll find out in a minute,” Lexa deadpanned, making the rest of her friends laugh. 

She slowly and carefully took the gifts out of the bag, taking the largest one out last.

“That must have been the anchor weighing the bag down,” Niylah said as Lexa placed it away from the group. 

“It’s a present for the team so you can open it when you’ve gotten your separate gifts. Which you can go ahead and take by the way, I’m not walking around and giving them to you,” Lexa spread her arms open as her friends one by one took the gift with their name written on the wrapping. 

“Can we open them?” Niylah asked.

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded. 

Almost in sync, the soccer team ripped open their presents from their captain, grins spreading across their faces. 

“A soccer ball? You know me so well."

“Lexa, how much did you spend on this?” 

“Okay, okay, open the big present now,” Lexa clapped, her patience wearing thin as she wanted to see her team’s reaction. 

“Who’s gonna open it?” Anya asked as she took the skinny rectangular gift from Lexa. 

“Octavia,” Lexa replied almost instantly. 

“Me?” Octavia asked from where she stood at the end of Lexa’s bed, a look of disbelief on her face to be included in something she deemed so special.

“Yeah,” Lexa said as if it were obvious. “You’re a part of the team now, and our newest addition.”

“Thanks, Lexa,” Octavia exhaled and took the gift from Anya.

She sat down on the carpet and laid it out in front of her, carefully piercing the wrapping with a sharp nail. She tore it off slowly and gasped at what she saw.

“Did you make this?” She asked Lexa, her voice just louder than a whisper. 

“What is it?” Emori asked, and suddenly the soccer team were crowding around Octavia where she held up a frame. 

Their eyes were glued to the pictures inside – dotted around were various pictures of the team from various matches scoring goals and looking focused on the field, but the highlight was definitely in the middle. The most recent photo taken just weeks after Octavia made the team had all of them in their uniform beaming at the camera, and above them was a banner that read _GROUNDERS_ that could be found in the school’s gymnasium. Lexa was in the center of the team, her eyes glowing with pride as her favorite people doing the thing she loved surrounded her.

“Yeah, I put it all together,” Lexa broke the silence. “I was kind of thinking we could put it up in a hallway at school if Jaha lets us.”

“Okay, you’re amazing, time for your presents because we can’t shower you with enough love,” Anya said and handed Lexa her first gift.

“Thanks you guys,” Lexa’s eyes glistened as a couple tears of happiness threatened to spill from her eyes.

An hour later the soccer team were full of chatter and excitement about what the New Year and 2016 would bring for them.

“Okay, okay. So it’s settled that Bernie Sanders has gotta win the election,” Indra said.

“If I’m going to be voting for any old white dude, it’s going to be him,” Lincoln nodded, causing Octavia and Anya to chuckle beside him.

“What about us though? Who’s going to replace the spot on the team?” Lexa asked.

“We were going to wait until next semester to introduce him to you, but he’s a sophomore. Really good, really talented,” Anya explained. 

“Does this promising sophomore have a name?” Lexa raised her eyebrows as she pressed Anya for more information. 

“Gustus Whittaker,” Anya said.

“Isn’t he that obnoxious kid always hanging about woodshop?” Lexa scoffed.

“Yes, _but_ it’s pretty much all an act. He’s actually really sweet and really down to earth,” Anya defended him. 

Lexa looked around at her friends and saw them nodding along. She was just going to have to put her trust in them.

“He’s really excited to be on the team, you just have to give him a chance,” Otan spoke up as he knew Gustus from being a sophomore himself. 

“Okay, I trust you guys,” Lexa nodded. “But I still want to meet him when we go back to school." 

“Of course,” Anya patted her shoulder.

 

**4 months earlier**

**anonymous asked:**

ok so i just found my journal from when i was 8 and this is one of the entries: ‘dear diary, i’m in 3rd grade now and my teacher mrs lee is really pretty and nice and i think i will do well this grade because i like to be around her’ WELL IF THIS ISN’T THE BIGGEST SIGN –c

**iam-thecommander replied:**

You gotta listen to your 8 year old self! She’s telling you things.

 **anonymous asked:**

she was oh so very naïve and clueless. i wish i had my own version of mrs lee now so that i could figure some things out –c 

 **iam-thecommander replied:**

I hope Mrs Lee one day knows that you just said that.

 

Lexa could hear music from inside Clarke’s house as she walked down the pathway to her front door with Anya and Indra. She checked her watch. _9:30pm_. 

Suddenly, the door flew open and out came Clarke Griffin, her eyes lined with delicate black wings, her cheeks a rosy pink and her blonde hair in tousled waves. 

“Leksaaaa!” She hiccupped.

“Hey, Clarke,” Lexa stood awkwardly. 

Anya smirked by her side at Clarke’s demeanour. 

“You’re late,” Clarke’s lips formed a pout. 

“I am?” Lexa hesitated, looking back at Indra who subtly shook her head. 

“Looks like your party started when you decided to get out the vodka, princess. What time was that, 7pm?” Anya smirked and took Clarke’s arm to lead her inside.

“I’m not drunk,” Clarke turned quickly who Anya who was significantly taller than her. She looked up and narrowed her eyes. “And don’t call me princess.” 

“Okay,” Anya almost laughed. 

“I’m just a little tipsy!” Clarke protested to little agreement. 

“Mind if I get a coke?” Lexa asked but figured she could just help herself. 

“Not drinking?” Clarke asked.

“I can’t, I’m on pain killers,” Lexa shrugged and looked at her foot in the soft cast. 

“Oh my god! I didn’t even realise you got the cast off!” Clarke exclaimed.

“Yeah, a few more weeks with this on and then I’m done,” Lexa smiled. 

“That’s great,” Clarke smiled back. 

“Hey, Lexa!” Jasper came bounding down the stairs. “What’s up?” 

“Getting a coke,” Lexa said simply and made her way to Clarke’s kitchen counter where cans of coke were stacked upon each other. She grabbed one and headed to the living room. 

“Nice,” Jasper nodded his head awkwardly. 

“If you’re about to hit on me, I’d really advise not to,” Lexa said bluntly as she sat down on Clarke’s couch to watch Bellamy and Raven play _Sing Star_. 

“I was not going to hit on you,” Jasper scoffed. 

Lexa just raised her eyebrows at him. 

“Okay, I’ll be with Monty,” he sulked, walking off to find his friend when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!” He ran to the door to open it. “Monroe!” He cheered. 

“Sup Jordan,” she walked inside quickly with Harper and Maya following her.

“Hey… Maya…” he breathed when he saw the girl he admired so much. 

“Hey Jasper,” Maya smiled at him and walked into the living room.

“Monroe, Harper, Maya!” Clarke clapped when she saw them walk in. “We’re playing _Sing Star_ , wanna play?” 

“Maybe later,” Monroe smirked. 

An hour later, the party was well underway and everyone except Indra and Lexa were well on their way to being drunk, if not already wasted like Octavia currently was. 

“Clarke!” Lexa heard her shout from the hallway. 

“Yes?” Clarke sang from where she sat on the floor in front of Lexa.

“What’s up, Clarkey?” Octavia’s gaze was dreamy as she sat down next to Lexa.

“Absolutely nothing!” Clarke chuckled as she leaned her head back into Lexa’s lap, careful to avoid the girl’s injury. 

“Huh,” Octavia said and took a sip of her drink that was in her hand. 

“What?” Clarke snapped around, startling Lexa a little. 

“You two would make a good couple,” all trace of Octavia’s filter was gone.

Lexa almost choked on her second coke that she was making her way through.

“What?” Clarke said almost in disbelief.

“You’re cute together,” Octavia shrugged. 

“We’re not… we’re not sitting together,” Lexa shook her head. 

“Sure you are, Clarke’s in front of you,” Octavia said. 

“That’s because-“ 

“Because why?” Octavia raised her eyebrows at the brunette who was avoiding all eye contact. 

“Dancers,” Lexa mumbled. 

Octavia glanced to the rest of the room and saw all other chairs pushed back as the rest of the guests were drunkenly dancing. 

Her attention got caught on Lincoln as he swayed in time with the Taylor Swift song that was playing. 

“He’s hot, right?” Octavia groaned. 

“Who, Lincoln?” Lexa blinked. 

“Yeah,” Octavia nodded and got up to dance with him. 

“Well, I am going to top up,” Clarke raised her cup and jumped up. 

“Have you not had enough?” Lexa asked in concern. 

“No, I’m good,” Clarke smiled at the girl’s concern and walked to the kitchen.

Clarke sighed as she got into the kitchen and quickly poured more vodka and coke into her cup before quickly taking a large gulp. 

She pulled out her phone from her pocket and clicked on the Tumblr app. She typed in Lexa’s url to the search bar as best she could in her intoxicated state and scrolled through the girl’s blog, finally finding their correspondence over the fast few months. 

“Fuck it,” Clarke mumbled to herself and hit the ask button. 

She read her message over once before being startled by Monroe running in and saying her name. 

“Hey Clarke!” She said with a red face and gasping for air.

“Monroe!” Clarke grinned.

“Come dance with us, Halsey is playing!” 

Clarke downed the rest of her drink and left her cup on the side as she allowed Monroe to take her hand and drag her into the crowd of her friends dancing to _Colors_. 

Anya pulled Lexa up from her seat of the couch, grabbing her crutches and handing them to her to make her dance with the rest of them. 

It was actually kind of liberating for her. She’d been so stressed out about not being on the soccer team anymore, applying to colleges and keeping her grades up that it was nice to just let go. 

She danced until her palms dug into the handles of her crutches and her cheeks ached from smiling and her stomach hurt from laughing.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute, I just gotta pee,” Lexa told Anya as everyone began to make their way outside to see the fireworks that would be set off soon. 

“Okay, don’t be too long,” Anya said and set off to find the others. 

Lexa nodded and walked to the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind her. She relieved herself and thoroughly washed her hands as she checked out how her makeup was holding up. 

 _Not bad, Woods._ She thought to herself as she was pleasantly surprised to find that her eyeliner hadn’t rubbed off much yet. 

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw that she had a notification from Tumblr. _It’s probably just a New Years message from an anon_ , Lexa shrugged but decided to check it quickly. She still had a couple of minutes to go before the countdown and it was nice to have a breather from the party.

She clicked on her ask box and almost dropped her phone from what she saw.

**delinquent319 asked:**

hey lexa, it’s me –c 

 _C._

She recognised the word _delinquent_ and the soft blonde hair and cheeky smile in the picture anywhere.

The girl who she’d become so infatuated with over the past 4 months.

_Clarke._

 

With a minute to go until the countdown to New Year, Lexa shakily made her way outside to find Clarke sitting on a chair by herself watching Raven and Bellamy set up some fireworks. 

“Clarke…” she breathed carefully. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Clarke said delicately as she made room for Lexa to sit next to her. 

The brunette sat down, putting her crutches on the floor in front of her. “It’s okay,” she said gently. 

“I want to talk about it, just not right now. When I’m sober,” Clarke tried to explain and found Lexa nodding as she understood. 

They had a lot to talk about and Clarke was in no state of mind to have the conversation right then. 

“The ball’s about to drop!” They heard Jasper shout as he ran outside to tell the rest of the party guests who exchanged grins and counted down loudly.

 _10…_  

Clarke moved into Lexa’s side more, finding warmth and comfort. 

 _9…_  

Lexa looked down at the blonde head of hair whose attention was directed forwards.

 _8…_  

 _7_ … 

Lexa shifted her arm to wrap around Clarke’s shoulders, letting the girl completely lean into her. 

 _6…_  

 _5…_  

Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

_4..._

__3…_ _

Lexa rested her head on top of Clarke’s as she watched Raven get ready to set off the fireworks. 

 _2…_  

Clarke sighed, her drunken state making her extremely relaxed as she breathed in a mixture of Lexa and the cool December air. 

 _1…_

“Happy new year, Clarke,” Lexa murmured just above the blonde’s ear as she momentarily tightened her grip on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Happy new year, Lexa,” Clarke whispered as if the moment would shatter if she said it any louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! it happened!!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing this chapter and hope you liked reading it!!  
> 


	17. Aftermath II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa talk about what happened at the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's your friendly neighbourhood trash bag back with another update (i smiled like a dork writing this chapter so i hope u all like it too)

Clarke groaned into her pillow, burying her face deeper into the soft fabric that her unwashed skin craved. She tried to stretch her legs out and simultaneously furrow her brow, but fell short when her feet hit the arm of the couch she was laying on. She opened her eyes into the pillow and realised she was laying on her front. She slowly turned her head to survey the damage of New Year’s Eve and came face to face with Raven beaming at her.

“Morning, princess.”

“Raven?” Clarke rasped.

“That’s right, at your service with fresh water and paracetamol,” Raven held up the water in one hand and the tablets, still in their packaging, in the other.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Clarke said, quickly shuffling to sit upright and making a thin blanket that was on top of her fall to the floor.

She almost snatched the tablets out of Raven’s hand, impatiently tearing them out of their wrapper and tipping them into her mouth. She grabbed the cool glass from Raven and drained it in one motion. 

“Wow, you must have a helluva hangover,” Raven cocked a smirked as she took the empty glass and tablet wrapping and put them on the coffee table behind her.

Clarke slunk down in her seat and rested her hand on her pounding head. Her and Raven sat in silence for a beat, with only the soft snores of her friends spread out through the living room audible.

Suddenly, her eyes went wide and she swore.

“Shit,” she began to panic.

“What?” Raven frowned at her from where she was sat beside her.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

“What, what, what?”

Clarke sat forward and hung her head in her hands as she groaned. “Lexa,” she started to remember.

“Oh, now all the groaning makes sense,” Raven smirked and waggled her eyebrows as she nudged Clarke.

“Shut up, nothing happened,” Clarke told her.

“Yeah? Then what the hell did happen between you guys last night?” Raven asked.

“I sent her a message on Tumblr…” Clarke processed what happened.

“You sent her multiple messages,” Raven said as if it were obvious. “You told me on Halloween.”

“No, but this one was off anonymous. She found out that it was me because my stupid drunk brain decided that it would be a good idea,” Clarke told Raven with wide eyes.

“Oh shit,” Raven said in acknowledgement, a little stunned.

“Yeah,” Clarke let out a breathy chuckle in disbelief. “Where is she?”

“She left with Anya and Indra at 3am. You passed out an hour before that but she stayed for the last hour to keep an eye on you. She put the blanket and pillow under you and made you drink some water before you slept. She also put this here,” Raven pointed towards a bin that was next to the couch, within Clarke’s reach. “But it looks like you didn’t need it,” she said when she noticed that Clarke had in fact not been sick.

Clarke smirked shyly at how sweet Lexa had been to her.

“You should probably text her or something because I’m pretty sure I heard your phone go off about half an hour ago,” Raven told her. “I’ll go and check up on Octavia and Lincoln who are currently occupying your bed.”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“Relax, Octavia was completely out of it. They didn’t have sex in your own bed before you got a chance to,” Raven rolled her eyes and left.

Clarke leaned forward and picked up her phone that was on the coffee table. She unlocked it and groaned as she looked at the time. _10:41am_. Her mother was due to be home soon from her extra long shift at the hospital. 

She clicked on her Facebook messages and sure enough she had a message from Lexa sent 40 minutes ago.

**Lexa Woods:**

Hi Clarke. I hope you slept okay and don’t have too much of a hangover this morning. I had a great time last night, thanks for inviting me :) 

Clarke smiled at Lexa’s message and quickly typed one back.

**Clarke Griffin:**

hey :) i slept fine, thanks for looking after me. raven told me that you stayed for an hour after i passed out, you didn’t have to! the hangover is shitty but i’ll live. i got to anyway because i’m going to rope everyone who’s still here into cleaning up before my mom gets back haha 

Clarke didn’t see that Jasper had sat up from where he was spread out on the floor on the other side of the coffee table and was then smirking at her. 

“What are you smiling at?” He asked.

“Nothing,” Clarke said. 

Jasper shot up from the floor and ran around to the couch to see Clarke’s phone, but the blonde was too quick for him and locked her phone.

“Damn,” he snapped his fingers. 

Clarke chuckled, but luck wasn’t on her side as her phone lit up telling her that she had a new message from Lexa.

Jasper gasped as he saw Lexa’s name appear and almost shouted the house down. “Lexa?!”

“Shut up, Jasper!” Clarke tried to shush him because Monty and Bellamy were still asleep in the room.

“Monty, Bellamy, wake up!” Jasper shouted as he took Clarke’s pillow and threw it directly on to Monty’s face. 

“What?” Monty mumbled and took a deep breath as he woke up.

“Who is shouting?” Bellamy groaned.

“Clarke’s talking to Lexa,” Jasper said.

Both boys were up in a flash as they joined Jasper and Clarke.

“What are they talking about?” Monty asked.

“What’s the big deal? I’ve been friends with Lexa for four months now,” Clarke grumbled. 

“What’s the big deal?” Bellamy scoffed. “Do you remember nothing from last night?”

“I remember we spent the countdown together,” Clarke smiled fondly at the memory.

“Okay, but you were practically glued to the hip. Like she wouldn’t let you go anywhere alone in case you fell over or something, and you were pretty much clinging to her once you moved inside,” Monty recounted. 

“Yeah, you were sitting together and she was talking but then realised that you had fallen asleep on her shoulder and just let you be. She didn’t move an inch just in case you needed something,” Jasper said.

“Whatever,” Clarke blushed, trying to suppress a smile.

She got up and walked into the kitchen for some privacy. She leaned on a counter and unlocked her phone to read Lexa’s latest message.

**Lexa Woods:**

I’m glad you slept well :) I can come over and help out with the cleaning if you want!

**Clarke Griffin:**

you don’t have to. octavia, lincoln, raven, bellamy, jasper and monty are all still here. i have plenty of help!

**Lexa Woods:**

Honestly, I don’t mind. Plus we should probably talk about last night.

Clarke took a deep breath as she remembered sending Lexa the message on Tumblr and although nervous, she was pretty desperate to talk it through. Besides, she had nothing to do on that New Year’s Day.

**Clarke Griffin:**

okay sure

**Lexa Woods:**

I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

**Clarke Griffin:**

thanks lex

Clarke slid her phone into her pants pocket and went back into the living room to announce that everyone needed to help her clean.

“Okay everyone, my mom will be home by noon so I want this house clean before she gets home. Can you guys help me?” She announced as Lincoln, Octavia and Raven walked down the stairs.

A chorus of agreement rang through the group.

Sure enough, 10 minutes later the doorbell rang and Clarke opened the door to Lexa. She was freshly showered and Clarke realised how sluggish and gross she felt.

“Hey,” she smiled.

“Hi,” Lexa smiled shyly back. “You want some help?”

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” Clarke chuckled nervously and let Lexa in, who came face to face with Raven.

“Oh! Hey, Lexa!” Raven said louder than necessary so that the rest of the group would hear.

“Hi, Raven,” Lexa said awkwardly to the girl.

“Don’t worry about and of them,” Clarke said to Lexa whilst simultaneously shooting a look to Raven to tell her not to try anything. She took Lexa by the arm and lead her to the kitchen. “You can come and help me with the leftover cups in the kitchen.”

 

An hour later, the house was clean and Clarke and Lexa were left sitting on the couch, with the rest of the group having gone back to their respective houses.

“I should go shower,” Clarke said. There was no way Lexa couldn’t have noticed that her hygiene needed addressing.

“Sure,” Lexa nodded.

“I’ll be as quick as I can. You can stay down here and watch some TV if you want. The remote is in the cabinet,” Clarke pointed to the cabinet underneath the television.

It took Clarke a record amount of time to shower and walk down the stairs back to Lexa. Her hair was damp, but at least she didn’t smell like vodka anymore.

“Did you want some lunch? I have one of those cheap bottles of pancake mix that I’ve been dying to try since I bought it,” Clarke suggested. 

“Sure,” Lexa grinned and shut off the TV.

They walked into the kitchen and Clarke reached for a cupboard where the pancake mix was. Lexa thought it was adorable how she had to stand on her tiptoes to even touch the handle.

Clarke walked graciously around the kitchen as she got the appropriate equipment she needed to cook, and Lexa watched in silence as Clarke moved around in a space she was completely comfortable in. 

Clarke lined up everything she needed on a counter and turned around to Lexa with a smile.

“You ready?” She asked. 

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded and moved over to Clarke.

“Okay it says that we have to shake the bottle and then fill it up with cold water to 290ml. You wanna do that?” Clarke smiled sweetly as she held the bottle out to Lexa, telling her to do it rather than offering.

“Sure,” Lexa jokingly rolled her eyes and took the bottle.

On one of the counters there was a small radio, which Clarke switched on as Lexa was shaking. Some classic pop tune came on and Clarke turned the volume dial so that it was just background noise.

“I’ve shaken,” Lexa said and handed Clarke back the bottle so that she could fill it up with the water. 

Once she had done that, she read the instructions again and handed it back to Lexa. “Shake for two minutes.”

“Again?” Lexa whined.

“I would but I’m afraid that I’ll somehow mess it up,” Clarke admitted.

“You’d mess up shaking a bottle?” Lexa raised her eyebrows.

“Yup,” Clarke popped the p. “I want these to be the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”

“They’ve gotta be pretty perfect then,” Lexa agreed.

“Instead, I will preheat this frying pan,” Clarke said as she picked up a generously sided pan.

She turned the gas on her cooker and put the pan over it, adding some oil into it as she did so.

“Has it been two minutes yet?” Lexa asked. “My arms are getting tired.”

Clarke glanced at the clock on the wall and nodded. “Now we have to pour some in and cook it for two minutes.”

“How much do you want in?” Lexa asked as she unscrewed the cap on the bottle.

Clarke shrugged. “Depends how big you want your pancake.”

The first attempt didn’t go so well, with the pancake breaking off into pieces when Clarke tried to flip it, and Lexa volunteered to have that one before Clarke could get too disappointed that her skills were adequate enough.

The next two were much easier to make once Clarke had gotten the hang of it, and she let Lexa have the one that looked nicer out of them. During the fourth pancake and last of the mix, they heard the front door open.

“Clarke, honey, I’m home!” Clarke heard her mother’s voice call out to her.

“I’m in here, mom!” She called back. “Here, take this so that you can flip,” she gave Lexa the spatula and stood in the doorway so that Abby could come and find her.

Sure enough, Abby put her purse down and walked straight over to Clarke, pulling her into her arms. Clarke gladly hugged her back and smiled.

“Happy New Year,” Abby said and kissed the top of Clarke’s head where her hair was almost dry.

“Happy New Year,” Clarke repeated back to her and let go from the embrace.

It was then that Abby noticed Lexa at the cooker trying her best to stay out of the interaction. 

“Hi, Lexa,” Abby smiled to her as she took in her presence.

“Hello, Mrs Griffin,” Lexa smiled politely back. “Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year to you too. What are you making, pancakes?” Abby asked as she looked over to where the last one was cooking in the pan.

“Yeah, did you want one?” Lexa offered.

“No, that’s okay thank you. I’ve just had a fifteen-hour shift at the hospital, so I am going to take a nice long bath and then sleep,” Abby said and excused herself to go upstairs.

“You didn’t have to offer her a pancake, you know,” Clarke smirked when she heard her mother make her way upstairs.

“I just want to make a good impression,” Lexa shrugged and put the now freshly made pancake on to Clarke’s plate.

“Oh, really? You want her to like you?” Clarke teased.

“Well yeah…” Lexa let her gaze fall to the floor as a blush rose on her cheeks.

“I wonder why that would be,” Clarke wondered out loud.

“I think you know why,” Lexa told her pointedly. “Have you got any syrup?” She asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded and opened a cupboard to pull out syrup for Lexa and Nutella for herself.

“Thanks,” Lexa said as Clarke handed her syrup to pour over her pancakes.

“Did you want a drink?” Clarke asked.

“Sure, just some water please,” Lexa said and put the condiments back in the cupboard as Clarke poured two glasses of water, giving one to Lexa.

She walked into the living room with Lexa following closely behind her, and sat on the floor at the coffee table, Clarke on one side and Lexa on the other. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Clarke spoke up.

“I think it’s nice how you want my mom to like you,” she admitted.

“Of course I want her to like me,” Lexa shrugged.

“We should probably talk about why that is,” Clarke said nervously as she ripped her pancake into pieces, giving her hands something to do.

“I like you, Clarke,” Lexa said suddenly.

Adrenaline coursed through Lexa’s bones at her admittance, and Clarke blushed when she heard Lexa say those words out loud.

“I like you too,” she barely even whispered.

“So you remember last night?” Lexa asked, assuming that Clarke knew exactly what she was talking about and wanting to get on to the topic of Tumblr.

“Yeah,” Clarke blushed again. “Sorry, by the way. I was pretty out of it and I wanted to tell you sooner but I was just scared.”

“How long have you known?” Lexa’s brow furrowed as she realised how huge the situation was.

“Since your last soccer game,” Clarke cringed.

“Two months?” Lexa asked in disbelief.

“I didn’t know what to do, I’m sorry,” Clarke said again, sensing that Lexa was upset.

“Wait, is that why I barely got any messages from C around November?” Lexa asked as she put the pieces together.

“I kind of freaked out on you,” Clarke hung her head.

“No kidding,” Lexa chuckled. “Thank you for telling me now. Even if you were drunk.”

“I would have done it differently, maybe taken you out on a date or something, but apparently alcohol gives me liquid confidence,” Clarke said.

“A date, huh?” Lexa teased, the corners of her lips turning up in a suggestive smile.

“If you’re gonna smirk like that then maybe I won’t,” Clarke huffed in faux annoyance and leant back on the couch behind her.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Clarke,” Lexa said, suddenly changing her exterior to sweet but serious.

“Okay,” Clarke couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes taking in the new information when Lexa spoke up.

“I still can’t believe that it was you messaging me.”

Clarke looked up at her, expecting to find a look of disbelief still plastered on Lexa’s face, despite the fact that she’d just agreed to go on a date with her. What she wasn’t expecting was quite possibly the biggest smile she’d ever seen.

“I can’t believe it was that it was you I was messaging,” Clarke laughed.

“Did you ever figure it out?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“Figure what out?” Clarke asked, not following.

“Your sexuality, of course,” the grin Lexa was sporting couldn’t have been forced off even if she tried.

“I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m bisexual,” Clarke said.

“Cool,” Lexa sighed contently, but then burst into a fit of laughter.

“What?” Clarke shot upright, thinking that Lexa was laughing at her. 

“I can’t believe you watched porn because I told you to,” Lexa said in between fits of laughter.

“Shut up, my mom’s gonna hear you!” Clarke hissed in embarrassment.

When Lexa didn’t relent, Clarke took the closest couch pillow she could and threw it at Lexa.

“Okay, okay, I’m good,” Lexa said as she calmed down. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of though,” she reassured her.

“I know that, I would just rather not have my mom hear about that kind of stuff,” she wasn’t exactly annoyed, but she rolled her eyes anyway.

“We probably should have figured this out sooner, huh?” Lexa said, her voice now evened out.

She’d finished her pancakes and pushed her plate to the side a while ago, and she used the free space on the coffee table in front of her to prop an arm up on to it and rest her chin in her hand. Clarke thought that the way the sunlight beaming through the window and on to one half of Lexa’s face was breath taking.

“Yeah,” Clarke sighed as her and Lexa held eye contact.

Clarke loved how in the moment she was. All she was focused on was Lexa and the new development in their relationship. Sure, she felt bad that she didn’t tell Lexa sooner, but the soccer player seemed to understand and was against holding a grudge.

“I can’t believe we have to go back to school in a couple of days now that all of this has happened,” Lexa groaned.

Her words seemed to snap Clarke out of the moment and think about her plans for the next semester.

“I wish we could just stay here forever,” Clarke admitted in defeat as she copied Lexa’s position with her chin in her hand.

“That committed already, Griffin?” Lexa lazily teased her.

Clarke rolled her eyes with a smile but said nothing as she heard her mother walk down the stairs.

“Hey girls,” Abby greeted them as she walked past them to get to the kitchen.

“Hey mom.”

“Hi, Mrs Griffin.”

“Please, Lexa, you can call me Abby,” the older woman smiled at her.

“Okay,” Lexa smiled shyly back.

When Abby was out of earshot again, Clarke turned to Lexa.

“I think she likes you,” the blonde teased.

“You think?” Lexa deadpanned, making Clarke laugh once again.

“For real though, do you want to go and ask her for some approval to take me out?” Clarke waggled her eyebrows.

“Puh-lease, she’d give it to me like that!” Lexa snapped her fingers to demonstrate her statement. “But I’m not that old fashioned. Anyway, I thought it was you who was taking me out?"

“Yup!” Clarke said with a firm nod and toothy smile.

“Where should we go?” Lexa asked.

“Hmm, I was thinking about leaving it as a surprise,” Clarke pondered. “But I haven’t actually gotten so far as to think about where.”

“Just text me the details,” Lexa said.

A couple of hours later, Lexa realised that she should probably go home to her own family, and the two girls were left saying goodbye to each other at the door.

“I’ll see you on Monday in homeroom,” Clarke smiled dreamily up at the taller girl.

“I’ll be waiting to hear when our date will be,” Lexa said, unable to hide a smile at the thought of the date.

“Text me when you get home?” Clarke asked, not wanting to seem too clingy.

“Of course,” Lexa said, not wanting this phase of their new development to end.

Mustering up the courage to do something she’d wanted to do for a while, she leant down slightly and gave Clarke a peck on the cheek. It wasn’t anything too drastic, but it made the butterflies in her stomach soar all the same.

Clarke realised what Lexa was doing as she was leaning in, and fought all temptation to divert Lexa’s lips to her own. Lexa’s lips were soft on her cheek, and the contact instantly made a smile appear on each girl’s face.

In reality, the kiss was short and sweet. Nerves had bundled up in Lexa’s stomach so much that she couldn’t prolong the moment, and her movements were quick and chaste. But for Clarke, it seemed like it went on forever. Everything played out in slow motion, and the spot where Lexa’s lips had been tingled as if it had been lit up.

Clarke almost missed the way that Lexa said bye to her with such a delicacy in her voice. She didn’t register it until Lexa was half way to her car, but by that time all she could do was smile and think about how soft Lexa’s lips felt.

If she had that reaction from just a kiss on the cheek, what would it feel like for Lexa to really kiss her?

 

That Monday when school had started again, Clarke sat in homeroom with Raven, Jasper and Monty. Her right leg was bouncing with anxiety to see Lexa again, even though she didn’t have any classes with her that day. She just wanted to see her. 

She spent the weekend going over what they could do on their date, and finally settled on something that she was positive Lexa would enjoy. Of course, she told Octavia and Raven about the conversation that she and Lexa had on New Year’s Day, as the two girls were bursting to know what happened. Which then led Clarke to discuss the date with them both and ask for some advice.

Suddenly, Clarke’s phone buzzed in her pocket, as did Raven’s, Monty’s and Jasper’s.

**Octavia Blake:**

Bell and I are coming into school now. You guys might wanna brace yourselves

Clarke frowned to her friends who all read the text at the same time.

**Clarke Griffin:**

how come?

**Octavia Blake:**

You guys remember the alarm clock Raven built him?

**Monty Green:**

Yeaaaah…..

**Octavia Blake:**

You’ll see then

Clarke eyed Raven suspiciously as the Latina girl sniggered in her seat.

It hadn’t even been five minutes when Bellamy walked into homeroom and into his seat faster than he’d ever done before, with Octavia following closely behind. The group had to hold in their laughter at his appearance.

His hair, which was usually only just tamed, was sticking up from all directions, making him look as if he’d been struck by lightning. It was a ridiculous look.

“I can hear you all laughing so you might as well,” Bellamy gave into his fate, but with a small smile on his face. It was just hair, after all (at least that’s what he told himself).

“How-how did this happen?” Monty asked in between fits of laughter.

“Ask Raven,” Bellamy looked at the girl in question who was heaped over her table laughing.

“The alarm clock gives you an electric shock when you hit the snooze button. But I wasn’t expecting it to do this to your hair,” Raven barely managed to say.

It was then that Clarke heard the door open again, and she turned to see Lexa in a simple t-shirt and jeans walk in. Her hair was down and in its natural slight curls, and she had her glasses on. She immediately caught Clarke’s eye and gave her a shy smile.

“Looking at your girl, Griffin?” Raven asked as she saw the two connect across the room.

“Shut up, Reyes,” Clarke said without taking her eyes off Lexa.

She got up and walked over to where Lexa was then sitting, and grabbed the closest chair to sit next to the girl.

“I have a plan for our date,” Clarke grinned.

“Where are we going?” Lexa asked, grinning back at her.

“I don’t think you understand what a surprise is,” Clarke smirked.

Lexa slumped her shoulders in a mock of disapproval before piping up again.

“I forgot, I need to show you something,” she said.

“Okay.”

“Have you been on Tumblr recently?” She asked through a clenched jaw.

“Not since New Year’s, why?” Clarke asked.

Instead of responding, Lexa took out her phone and went to her blog where Clarke immediately saw the message she sent Lexa a few days before published on the girl’s blog.

“I must have accidentally clicked publish, I’m sorry,” Lexa said.

“It’s okay, you didn’t mean to,” Clarke immediately reassured her. “But now everyone who follows you will know your name.”

“I’ve gotten like 100 messages about it, but it’s no big deal,” Lexa shrugged. “I don’t really care anymore. I just thought that I’d show you because a load of my followers have probably shifted to you now.”

“Oh, well that’s fine. You should probably just answer some people’s questions so that they’ll stop bugging you though,” Clarke advised.

“Yeah,” Lexa agreed.

She brought up her ask box and replied to the most recent messages she’d received.

**anonymous asked:**

your name is lexa??????

**iam-thecommander replied:**

Yes.

**anonymous asked:**

oh my GOD is that the girl you’ve been talking to for all these months?? We were all wondering what happened to her, she’s hot well done

**iam-thecommander replied:**

I know, it’s been filling up my inbox for the past month or so (and thank you).

“That’ll do for now,” Lexa said. She locked her phone as Kane came into homeroom to register them all as present. “What have you got first?”

“Art, what about you?” Clarke asked.

“I’ve got math so I guess I won’t see you until lunch, if we can even get away from our friends,” Lexa joked.

“Tell me about it,” Clarke chuckled.

“Damn, they’re inseparable and they’re not even dating yet,” Clarke heard Raven say across the room.

She laughed with Lexa at the comment, not even denying it because it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you believe it's been an entire year since i started writing this!!!!!!!!!!!!! a lot has happened this past year but i'm so so grateful to everyone who has stuck with me and my infrequent updates for this fic. it's the longest i've worked on anything and it's because u all bug me for updates and motivate me and are all lovely lil beans so thank u all so so much <3
> 
> in other news, i got into university yaaaay!! saying it to a load of random people on the internet makes it all a little more surreal and scary, but i will still be writing fanfic when i get there! and as some of you might remember from this time last year, i had a huge project that i was working on at school which meant i couldn't update as much as i wanted to. i have the same thing going on this year so i really don't know when the next update will be, but i only have a month and a half left of school and then i have like 3 months of summer so i'm aiming to finish this at least by the time summer ends :)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm english, but this fic is set in america and all the characters are american, so i've done my best to write about the american education system and in american-english. if i've gotten anything wrong, pls let me know so that i can change it/know for future reference
> 
> my tumblr is talltyrionnlannister and sometimes i post updates about this fic but good luck finding them lmao


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